Passing the time by breaking apart

I'd be lying to you if I said I enjoy growing up. Well actually, I'd be lying by omission. I like the new experiences (boarding school, driving on the highway, going on bigger and better carnival rides, first kisses, Prom, making real movies, living away from home, ect.) but the painful parts I can deal without (losing friends, getting wisdom teeth--OUCH!!!--SATs, college applications, arguments with parents, ect.).

Recently I was looking up colleges with Mom, trying to find backups in case I don't get into any of my first-choice schools. It hit me somewhere along the line that this IS my last year of high school...HOLY SHIT!!!! And with that came the realization that I'm NOT going to live at home after next summer. No more trick-or-treating, apple orchard visits, Halloween-costume-making sessions, help with math homework from Dad or help with English homework from Mom.

I'm home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, so our holiday traditions won't change--at least, not for now--but being away, first at boarding school and then at college, means I'm not home to make a cake on Mom's birthday (it's in October) or help Dad "winterize" our pool at the end of summer or "reopen" it in springtime. It means that I miss things that I ordinarily wouldn't miss--Mom nagging me to do my math homework, Dad asking me for help with his sailboat (I am NOT a boat person!), as well as little things like the young kids riding up and down my street on their bicycles and scooters, dogs barking in the middle of the night, or the view of the sunset from my bedroom window.

I remember two years ago, going into high school for my sophomore year. I was only fifteen and had never been to school before--yup, that means NO SCHOOL at all, except online classes and snail-mail classes. I remember walking through the school and thinking, "This is it. I'll be here for three years now, in this big, wild school, with a thousand other kids and a bunch of teachers, some of which I'll like and some of which I'll hate. I'll graduate from this school, with the friends that I'll (hopefully) make."

Instead, I'll be graduating from Interlochen Arts Academy next year. I thought that by the time I graduated high school I'd be pretty and popular and perfect...yeah, THAT happened. I thought that I would be top of my class with a perfect 4.0 GPA and epic SAT scores...instead I'm going to have to really work my ass off to get into a decent college. I thought that I'd know exactly what I want to do with my life and exactly where I want to go...but all I know is that somehow, someday, I WILL be a known filmmaker.

It's a strange thought that someone who is reading this blog at the moment might someday be in line, buying tickets at a movie theatre, for a movie that I've directed. It's a strange thought that someday, I will be at a bookstore and see a book written by someone I went to school with. It's strange to think that someday, I will take my kids to a play and the first-billed name on the program will be one of my close friends.

...Then again, maybe not. Who knows?

This is my "Before and After" blog post. This is where I remember what I was like before high school and compare it to what I am like now...and prompt anyone who follows or reads or, hell, even just happens to stumble across this blog to do the same.



BEFORE HS: I would leave reviews for my favorite products on Amazon.com, which back then, I am sad to say, included--give me a break, I was 13!--Kidz Bop, Hilary Duff, Jesse McCartney, and (this one is less embarrassing) 3 Doors Down. There was a reviewer called "Squash-n-Squeak" with whom I would occassionally get into tiffs over music. Our biggest fights were over Kidz Bop and Green Day, who to this day I'm still not too fond of. I pretended not to care when SnS said stuff like, "I saw the review by "Dizzy Miss Lizzy" (that was my screenname), I looked at your other reviews and saw the one you wrote for Green Day. Let me just say, you wrote that review with no idea of what you were talking about" and (this one is a direct quote), "To the reviewer that goes by Dizzy Miss Lizzy: Stop buying this garbage. Can't you see that you're just helping these evil corporate f**ks get richer and richer? Wake up, and stop supporting this garbage. And since I'm here, stop supporting all the CRAP that you listen to." However much I pretended not to care, the truth was, it actually kind of--okay, really--hurt that someone I didn't even know was judging me based on the music I listened to.

AFTER HS: Simply put, I don't give a crap. If some dirtbrain wants to trash the bands I listen to (which, for the record, no longer contain Kidz Bop or Jesse McCartney), let them. It's their opinion and they're entitled to it. Now, if you trash ME, whether to my face or online, I will defend myself. But it doesn't matter so much now as it does when I was thirteen and actually gave a damn whether some online creep liked me or not.


BEFORE HS: I wanted to be a popstar. No joke. I wanted to act and sing, I idolized girls like JoJo and Hayden Panettiere. I wrote song lyrics (which I still do, from time to time, mind you) and bought myself an acoustic guitar. I learned to dance via a Jump5 how-to video. I took acting classes and constantly videotaped myself. I actually thought that if my 'mean old parents' would just let me TRY, I could do just what those girls on TV did.

AFTER HS: I'd rather be behind the camera than in front of it. (I think we've established this already.) Being a popstar doesn't look so great when you know the truth about what goes on in Hollywood. I still love music--I still have my guitar, still write song lyrics, still spend hours listening to my favorite bands--but I don't want to be a performer anymore; I want to be the person who designs the shows.


BEFORE HS: I was a boy-crazy geek. No joke. Not only that, but I was horribly obvious and usually scared off the boys I liked with my God-awful attempts at flirting. I averaged about 3-4 new crushes per month and usually found a new boy to like before I was over the first.

AFTER HS: I'd be lying if I said I didn't check out cute crushes constantly (wow, lot of Cs there, lol) but I'm not quite the obvious idiot that I was at 13. My new policy is, look but don't act, unles you're SURE that it's worth it. (My sophomore year really helped me here...that was the year of the dreaded, terrifying FIRST KISS, as well as the first time I realized that, contrary to popular belief, Homecoming is NOT magical like it is on TV.)


BEFORE HS: I had it all figured out. I was going to be a star performer/actor, with a huge Hollywood mansion, tons of amazing starlet friends, and a perfect Hollywood actor/chart-topping musician for a husband (first choice was Daniel Radcliffe, followed closely by Jesse McCartney). But first I was going to go to Columbia College Chicago and learn to act. And before that, I was going to graduate high school in three years instead of four, via online school.

AFTER HS: I have no f#$%ing clue anymore. All I know is that I want to be in film. I want to direct, I want to design, I want to write. I don't know if I'll be in the college of my choice, but I do know that it will NOT be Columbia Chicago, or any art school for that matter...I'll trust my mom, apply to liberal art schools, and go to art school for grad school. Sound good?

P.S.--I am absolutely positive that I will not marry Dan Radcliffe. I'm just saying.


BEFORE HS: I was a sheltered, homeschooled geek who idolized her parents, was best friends with a girl who was three years her senior, scared easily, and hated Shakespeare.

AFTER HS: I'm an art-school-attending geek who still loves her parents but knows they're not perfect, is best friends with a girl who is a year OLDER than her, doesn't scare quite as easily, and not only likes Shakespeare, but also likes Charles Dickens, Alexander Dumas, and Jack Kerouac.


IN 2006, THE YEAR BEFORE THE CLASS OF 2011 STARTED HIGH SCHOOL...

...There was no Harry Potter theme park, and we still didn't know whether or not Harry would survive the last battle with Voldemort.

...The entire western world was not obsessed with Twilight; Stephanie Meyer was not yet a household name.

...Hannah Montana was just another TV show on the Disney Channel.

...The Jonas Brothers were a virtually obscure opening act, judging by the "stub" article they once had on Wikipedia.

...Avril Lavigne was still a tough cookie--she might've matured a bit, but she didn't have pink hair or have backup dancers.

...Michael Jackson, Anna Nicole Smith, Richard Jeni, Evel Knievel, Heath Ledger, Bea Arthur, John Hughes, and Patrick Swayze were still alive.

...There were no iPhones; you had to contend with regular old cell phones.

...High School Musical ruled Disney Channel; there was no Camp Rock and so Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron were the top Disney actors, instead of Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato.

...Kim Possible was still airing new episodes.

...YouTube was only a year old, as of February.

...The "Samantha Parkington" doll and books were still part of the American Girls Collection and hadn't yet been put into the American Girl Archives.


YOU KNOW YOU'RE A MEMBER OF THE CLASS OF 2011 IF...

...The Jonas Brothers, High School Musical, Zoey 101, and Hannah Montana were the most popular celebrities/media in your freshman year.

...You remember when Gossip Girl, Kitchen Nightmares, and iCarly premiered.

...You panicked when word got around that a nationwide law might prevent kids from driving unaccompanied until age 17.

...You have ever been to a "Snakes on a Plane party," or you know someone who has.

...Your sophomore and junior years of high school were spent A) playing field marshal between Team Jacob and Team Edward, B) fighting in the Team Jacob/Team Edward battle yourself, C) playing marshal between the Twilighters and the Twilight-haters, or D) fighting in the Twilighter/Twilight-hater battle yourself.

...You were young enough to watch the last Hauntober Fest on Disney Channel, but old enough to pretend to your friends that you didn't.

...The transition from Bush to Obama was the first time you were aware of a new President and the significant effect he had on the country...but at the same time you knew you'd miss Bush because he was so epically funny.

...By the time the final Harry Potter book was released, you were old enough to attend the release party without parental accompaniment.

...You remember the good old days before Hot Topic was taken over by Justin Beiber and the Twilight franchise.

...You were jealous of the freshmen who were allowed to go to Homecoming without older dates; YOU couldn't do that as a freshman.

...You were insulted if someone called you a "freshie," but the minute you turned sophomore you did it to the freshmen yourself.

...You are part of the "New Batman" generation, a.k.a. those whose Batman experiences were marked by Batman Begins and The Dark Knight instead of Tim Burton's Batman films or the 60s Batman series and film.

...You have ever been part of a "Hannah Montana Traffic Jam." For those who don't know, a HMTJ occurs when you try to pass by a concert venue but can't because the road is locked up with cars, all because Hannah Montana is playing and the venue you are trying to pass is packed with people--only not yet, because they are all in the cars blocking YOU while they try to get into the venue parking lot early.

...Speaking of Hannah Montana, you witnessed her rise to fame, along with the Jonas Brothers, High School Musical, Camp Rock, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato.

...You are either a Justin Bieber fan or you hate those who are.

...You grew up watching Rolie Polie Olie, Bear in the Big Blue House, Dragon Tales, Blue's Clues, Arthur, Cyberchase, and The Magic School Bus, instead of Mr. Rogers or Sesame Street (but maybe you watched that too) or the ridiculous shows that Playhouse Disney and Nick Jr. air for kids today.

...At the time, you were just barely old enough to understand events like the Columbine killings and 9/11. But now you know that you will never, ever forget those events.


STOLEN DIALOGUE

Person one (father): Do you want to borrow my socks?
Person two (daughter): No! I don't wear old-man socks!
Person one: "Old man socks?" Hey, they didn't find me, okay? They weren't walking around going, "Now where's that old man whose feet we're supposed to go on?" It's not like, "We're looking for some old man feet here!"

Person one: Are these tapes HD?
Person two: Yeah.
Person one: Are you sure?
Person three: No, they’re not HD. They’re magical, and when you put them into the camera it glows bright blue and a unicorn comes up and hugs you. Of course it’s HD, put it in the damn camera.

Person one: Just say "Go f**k yourself."
Person two: I don't think you need to tell him that. He probably already does.
Person one: AHHHHH! Bad mental image! Bad bad bad bad BAD mental image!

Person one: Sandwich!
Person two: Could you be any more random?
Person one: That was NOT random. I was happy about eating the sandwich, so I said "sandwich."

Person one: Macs are great, PCs pretty much suck.
Person two: PCs do NOT suck, they work just fine!
Person one: Okay...how long does your computer take to start up? Fourteen minutes?
Person two: Six--at most!
Person one(shocked): Wow...I was exaggerating at the fourteen minutes thing...wow...just...wow.
Person two: Oh yeah? Well how long does YOURS take to start up, wise guy?
Person one: ...Fifteen seconds.

Person one: Hey mom, I'm going to the movies tomorrow with Charles.
Person two: Who's that? Is he gay?
Person one: No...
Person two: DARN IT!

Person one: I am freezing my ass off.
Person two: Dude, you don’t HAVE an ass.

[while watching Tokio Hotel in the lounge]
Person one: So who would you sneak into a hotel room with after a concert, provided you ever got into that situation?
Person two: I’d want Tom.
Person one: No way. I think I’d want…Gustav. Yeah. The cute quiet one.
Person three: Um…I don’t know. I’m kinda torn between Georg and Bill.
Person one: Well, think of it this way, whose baby would you rather have?
[While P3 considering this, another person—a guy—walks into the room]
Person three [greeting him]: Sean!
Person two: You’d have SEAN'S baby?!

Person one: Cullen, you're from Mississippi, do you have any idea why teen pregnancy and obesity rates are so high?
Person two: It's because all we do is eat and have sex.