Interlochen February, Day 9: Excuse Me While I Have A "Moment"...

DAY 9
February 10
Prompt: "Never Forget."

(Translation: Beatnik Belle is too tired to write a proper post today.)

But really. At Interlochen, it's not about the big things (as in, holidays, graduation, MORP, etc.) It's the little things that make Interlochen Interlochen. Proof:

During a Physics class, Mr. Nadji announces that we are allowed to see our grades. I eagerly go to look at mine, and discover that it has dropped from a B- to a C+. I freak out--naturally--and quote Heathers, making a statement that I am sure Mr. Nadji has ever heard before (and I'm probably lucky he didn't hear this time): "Fuck me gently with a chainsaw!" Morgan hears this and bursts out laughing. Can you guess what our acronym of choice is for the rest of the year? If you guessed FMGWAC, you'd be right!


Singing "Baby" dressed like Justin Bieber at the VAMPA Coffeehouse with my roommate (who was dressed as Ludacris), in front of a good-sized crowd = terrifying. But the response from that decent-sized crowd = freaking exhilarating. Even better? Hearing Isaac assure me after the performance that we were unforgettable.


Ben Busch, the epic photographer/actor/director/former Marine, visits Interlochen for a second time just to talk to my War Writing class. He delights us with his amusing anecdotes and gives us amazing advice, then watches me rush off to Physics. After my class I come to the writing house and find that he is still there. I go up to him and tell him how much his words of inspiration--"You are not wrong"--helped me through the previous year. To my utter shock, he actually remembers me, and sends me off with an encouraging smile and a pat on the arm. I am in the seventh heaven for the rest of the day.

On the weekends, at brunch, it was just INSANE at Stone. But on weekday mornings, everyone who had first hour off was usually asleep, so it would just be me and Isaac...and a handful of theatre majors off in the corner on occasion...so we'd end up having the weirdest conversations known to mankind, because nine times out of ten I was either half-asleep and barely cognizant or freaking out about something (usually ballet or physics), and that made for some good times. Bad food, yes, but usually good times.

Remember what I said about rain in that post about tornado warnings? There really is nothing like watching the rain hit the water, and seeing the tiny little waves lapping at the sand, and rolling around in the bright-green grass and getting absolutely soaked, and hearing the sound of the rain...I would literally do this for hours. I would take my coat off and just let myself get soaked. I would walk in the rain, dance in the rain, scooter in the rain...that last one probably was not the wisest thing to do, but damn, it was fun.

During MORP, Morgan sits on my lap at the bowling/pool/pizza afterparty. "Love Story" by Taylor Swift begins to play on the radio, and during the bridge, I "propose" to her by singing along. Laughing, she accepts, and we immediately proceed to take a round of pictures while Isaac gets a strike, making the rest of us look worse at bowling than we actually are.


At my first-ever MPA screening, my one-minute short, What Teachers Don't See, is playing on the big screen. As my film begins, I see my film teacher look around the room to make sure I'm there. He sees me, looks at the film, and sees Harry playing him in the movie--and doing a bloody good job of it, I might add. Everyone laughs hysterically at my movie, which involves a group of students literally having a party every time the teacher turns around to write on the board. I have never been so proud of myself in my life.

Interlochen February, Day 6: It's A...Twister?

DAY 6
February 7
Prompt: "Tornado Warnings...WHAT THE HELL."

There is something about the atmosphere of Interlochen that turns the most rational person into a model of irrationality. Most of the traditions are weird; most of the policies are even weirder. And you know what? You get used to them over time. You think you won't, but you do. I know at first it really freaked me out that we were allowed to change out of uniform after classes (for the record, we weren't allowed to do that at the camp). However, there is one policy, regarding weather, that to this day completely blows my mind.

The Tornado Warning Policy.

Here is Interlochen's view of things: If there's four feet of snow on the ground, with eight-to-ten-foot snowbanks on either side and snow coming down like a beaded curtain from the sky so you could get lost half a block from your dorm, and a solid sheet of ice covering the entire road so that you can't wear anything other than mountain-climbing boots for fear of ice-skating your way to class...well, what the hell, just send the kids to class anyway. I find it highly ironic that on the Campus That Was Eaten By Snow, there is no such thing as a snow day. I guess their policy on that is, "Well, they have to get used to snow soon enough anyway; might as well make them get educated while they freeze their asses off."

But so help me, if there is a single drop of rain, they go on the alert. I've gotten e-mails from Campus Safety declaring a "thunderstorm warning" after five minutes of drizzle. I'm not even exaggerating. To their credit, Interlochen does wait until things are fairly severe before they issue a tornado warning. But for the most part, what they cite as a tornado warning usually turns out to be a ten-minute thunderstorm, which feels extremely anticlimactic...especially after you've been ordered to the basement for a storm that wouldn't even knock over a plastic flamingo, let alone turn into a tornado.

You think I'm exaggerating now, don't you? I'm not. I'm not even remotely kidding.

Let me remind you all--I am from Michigan. We are not exactly the Tornado Capital of the World, but we get our fair share of violent weather. In the summertime, we get plenty of thunderstorms. And I have seen a pre-tornado thunderstorm. The sky is freaking green. The clouds move in certain patterns. The rain comes down like thousands of tiny, wet daggers. It's not your normal thunderstorm. And I know--because the first time I was aware of one of these, I completely flipped out. I'll never forget that. So, trust me, I know what a true tornado warning should look like.

And also let me point out that I KNOW thunderstorms are dangerous. Trees get knocked over. Things get hit by lightening. Power goes out. I know all of this. I repeat: Michigan. It's not that unusual. It's been November and we've had power-cutting thunderstorms.

But really, Interlochen loved to flip out over thunderstorms. This just happened. I'm still not sure why. Here's what I do know: I do not like to be inside on a rainy day. Running around in the rain is one of my favorite pastimes. If there's a chance for me to go out and dance in the rain, and get completely, thoroughly soaked, and just generally act like a fool, I will take it. I love rain even more than I love snow. If you offer me a choice between rain and sunshine, nine times out of ten I will take rain. It's part of my genetic coding, I guess. (Don't ask me why.)

So, of course, Interlochen has to cancel classes, herd us into the basement, and make a hugestinkingdeal out of every major or minor thunderstorm to hit our campus.

I've heard stories of people doing insane things during thunderstorm warnings or tornado warnings, my personal favorite being the anecdote about having a picnic on the roof of the dance building during a tornado watch. (Wish I'd been there for that one...) But what I really remember about the tornado watches/warnings and thunderstorm watches/warnings of my senior year are how freaking inconvenient they were...how they literally always happened at times when I desperately wanted to be out of my dorm or at someone else's dorm.

I mean, really.

It was like the thunderstorms wanted to tick me off.

This especially ticked me off at the end of the year, when I had literally a month to spend with someone I really cared about and knew I would most likely not see after the school year ended, and guess what? Those damn thunderstorms kept sneaking up on me and separating us. I remember one night I ended up in hysterical tears over this. I remember being so mad at the weather, and so mad at the administration, because I just wanted to spend as much time with this person as I could and the stupid rain wasn't letting me. I literally sat curled up on my floor crying, with "Goodbye Love" blaring in the background because that was my cry-song at the time.

That was a low point for me.

I won't lie--there were times when Interlochen's rules really frustrated me. But you know what? It really is a small price to pay. When I look back on that time, and think of how frustrated I would get because things would be so much easier if we could just do things a tiny bit differently (like, hey, administration, how about NOT imprisoning us in our dorms at the first sign of rain?), I try to remind myself that things could've been much worse.

I could've still been in public school.

And we all know how well Beatnik Belle did in public school.

*coughnotverywellcoughcough*


STOLEN DIALOGUE!!!!!

"How did Buddha die? He got food poisoning, right? He ate at Glar."

"In other words...stop arguing over religion!"

"Sorry about all the f-bombs...I'm declaring nuclear war on angst tonight."

"Look on the bright side: It's better to be a ghost than a zombie."

"A chastity ring? WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY...or lack thereof?"

Person one: What do you see when you look at this picture? Someone who's exhausted?
Person two: Someone who's ready to fall over on the keyboard, yes.

"Wouldn't it be nice if homework could just hand itself into the teacher? Like, 'Hey, I just did myself, here you go.' Oh, shit, that sounded dirty..."

"Don't worry...the true/false section of the test is the only place where I like to be a smartass."

Here is Where We Both Go Wrong

Okay. So it took me awhile to figure out that putting yourself down is possibly the worst thing you can do if you are trying to make friends. Modesty = good, self-deprecation = not so good. So we all know that, right? Great. So, if we all know that, why do I still freak out when I do something the tiniest bit embarrassing?

Well, the thing is, I pretty much set myself up for it. Embarrassment, I mean. Such as tonight, when I agreed to participate in a comedic "Spelling Bee" and realized the minute I signed up that I was basically agreeing to embarrass the hell out of myself in front of an audience. As I jokingly said to another red-faced participant, "God forbid I retain any amount of dignity for over 24 hours."

That's just it, though...who the hell needs dignity? This is art school for Pete's sake. We LIVE off lack of dignity. Dignity just slows us down. (Theater Majors, you especially should know what I'm talking about. How could anyone worried about dignity participate in a show so amazingly funny as Hotel Paradiso?) And you know what, I'll take fun over dignity any day.

That said, a little judgement couldn't hurt.

But onto more important things, such as THE RAIN!!!! Anyone who lives in DeRoy, McWhorter, MB, or Picasso should know what I'm talking about. A.k.a., the freaking AWESOME mudslide/rain dance/puddle jumping session held in front of the DeRoy building last night! Seriously. I don't know how this happened. All I know is that one minute I'm taking out the trash, and then the next thing I know, I'm running around in the rain like a crazy person, along with a few dozen other crazy people who all have the same idea of fun as I do: Puddle-stomping and mud-sliding in pajamas, hearing people whoop, scream, and yell some rather inappropriate things while doing so. Seriously, whoever started that is my new hero.

Let me just ask you - how often do YOU do things like that?

How often do YOU run around in the rain with your friends, screaming nonsense and jumping in ankle-deep puddles?

How often do YOU tear off your coat and jump into a pile of fresh, fluffy snow on your way from the Writing House to your dorm?

How often do YOU roll around on the beach/in the grass by the waterfront while it's raining, hearing the rain hit the water and looking up into the clouds?

How often do YOU randomly agree to participate in silly things like a schoolwide mock spelling bee?

How often do YOU march up to the guy/girl that you like and flat-out TELL them, "Hey, idiot, I like you!"

How often do YOU say, "To hell with homework and academics and perfection, I'm going to spend three hours editing this piece because it's what I love to do, it's what I came here to do and damn it, no one can stop me?" (Other majors, feel free to substitute "editing" with "writing," "dancing," "playing," ect.)

Do you see what I mean?

I dare anyone who reads this blog to do things like that, if you don't already. If you've never jumped into a pile of snow, danced in the rain, or participated in a Coffeehouse or other open-mic style/comedic show, TRY IT. Is it terrifying? Somewhat. Is it embarrassing? Usually. But it's worth it. I'm telling you, it is SO worth it.

Embarrassment lasts a few minutes. Thrilling memories last a lifetime.

(Wow, I'm so full of philosophical cliches tonight...)


No stolen dialogue tonight. Instead, I shall present to you a short anthology of my most embarrassing/hilarious moments that I can recall at this moment in time:

1. Breakfast in Bed

A few weeks ago, I had to get up for church on Sunday, so on Saturday night I did the sensible thing and set my alarm clock. Only problem is, I also got hungry on Saturday night, so I ate some cereal. Now, I don't actually have cereal bowls in my dorm room, so I used a tupperware bowl and left it beside my alarm clock...see where I'm going with this? So, when the alarm went off, I reached for my alarm clock so I could pick it up and shut the damn thing off. Instead, I picked up the Rice Krispies bowl...and, because I am useless without my glasses and I was still half-asleep, I did not realize just what I had picked up until I blinked and realized that I was covered in Rice Krispies.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE WONDERING...

No, there was not milk in the bowl, thank God. I don't eat cereal with milk. However, there WAS sugar in the bowl, and this provided a rather uncomfortable situation.

Yes, I SHOULD have taken care of the bowl the previous night. However, I was tired, so I did not.

No, my roommate somehow did NOT wake up during all this. She did, however, pose a confused question as to how cereal got all over our floor when I got back from church.

Yes, this WAS the highlight of my day.


2. A la Cart

Every Tuesday and Thursday I work in the cafeteria at my school, as part of mandatory community service. There are these huge gray plastic carts that are used to transfer food and dishes to and from the salad bar, cereal station, ect. So one night I was in the back area, by the kitchen, as opposed to the dining room, and out of nowhere this cart comes careening out of the dishroom and pins me to the wall. To add insult to injury, ANOTHER cart flew out moments later, hit the first cart, and fell over. A kitchen personnel came out of the dishroom and gasped, "Oh my God, what happened?" Unable to keep myself from being a smartass, I said innocently, "A cart fell over."


3. But I'm A Filmmaker!

(Bonus points to anyone who understands the reference in the title of this one...)

While dressing the set for my first-ever thesis shoot, which just happened to be two friends' dorm room, I noticed a whiteboard on one side of the room. In my film, one of the characters inhabiting the dorm was gay, and the other was straight. The whiteboard was on the "gay" side of the room, but I still thought it'd be fun to have the straight character write a note to his best friend/roommate. After a brief, nowhere conversation with my (male) assistant director concerning what should be written on the whiteboard, I turned to my audio recordist and said, "Okay, then. You're my 'straight ambassador.' What should we write on this...?" and then promptly remembered that my AD was straight as well. This, as you can imagine, resulted in a hell of a lot of laughing...and, on my part, blushing.


4. Lamb-a-dam-a-ding-dong

So I was hanging out with one of my friends a couple of days ago, and said friend dared me to make sheep noises (don't ask me how we got to this point). So, being the dork that I am, I did it. And because we both read Twilight, and Twilight for those of you who don't know occasionally depics Edward calling Bella his "lamb," we began making some rather stupid Twilight references as well as the sheep noises. We were in an open field (I think this MIGHT be what inspired the lamb noises, but I'm not sure) and eventually, while we were bleating and quoting Twilight, a few boys came into the field to play soccer. Well, of course they noticed us, and of course being the hams we are, we couldn't resist putting on even more of a show for them and really exaggerating our lamb noises and dramatizing scenes from the books. We kept this up until we realized that one of the Soccer Boys was one that I had a bit of a crush on. Oops.


5. Yes, Another 'Gay' One...

At the beginning of the school year I confided in two friends that my first boyfriend turned out to be gay. One of my friends (male) immediately said, "Oh, that sucks. Yeah, I kind of had the same experience, only in reverse." In my defense, it was late, I'd been up all day, and I had no idea at the time that this particular friend was gay. And so my reply made perfect sense, in my mind: "Oh my God, you dated a lesbian?"

Hello, Welcome to the Loony Bin, May I Take Your Order?

ALMOST ONE MONTH WITHOUT AN UPDATE?!?!?!?! ONLY TWO UPDATES IN MARCH?!?!?!?! OH MY GOODNESS, TALK ABOUT EPIC FAIL!!!!!!!!


As of this post, I hereby swear that I will never, EVER EVER EVER go so long without posting again. I promise anyone who reads this blog that there will NEVER be a lack of updateage after this, yes, even though it is thesis film season and I am up to my neck in filmmaking, I will NOT be such an idiot about updating my blog. I promise!



And now, to the actual update. Spring Break kicked major ass...I'm not even going to go into full detail of how much fun it was. I'm just going to point out the highlights:

1. Watching all three Back To the Future movies in one weekend with my dad...that was just epic on so many levels...and then we watched all bonus features, so we had BTTF overload :D

2. Seeing all kinds of epic indie movies! Henry Poole Was Here, Interstate 60, and Saint Ralph were my favorites - if you haven't seen them, you should, they were both EPIC :D

3. Making a Pete Townsend-styled guitar cake for my dad's birthday :)

4. Making a prom dress with Mom...that was just made of epic win...and shopping for fabric was the fun part :)

5. Getting the 25th anniversary-edition of Thriller, as well as the This is It DVD, and staying up until 4 AM--only once, I swear!--geeking out over Michael Jackson and, once again, wondering why I only figured out that he was a genius AFTER he died. Also realizing all over again that, despite my general aversion to synthesizers, I absolutely LOVE his music. (But don't worry, Ronnie Winter, you're still my favorite.)

6. FINALLY finishing my feature-length for class - and then the downside, realizing it was crap and having to rewrite half of it. Oops. Good thing I like revision...

7. LEARNING TO DRIVE ON THE HIGHWAY!!!!! Seriously, this was a defining moment for me. I realized that I am in fact one of THE slowest drivers in America and, for my own safety and the safety of others, I should never, EVER drive in the left lane.

8. Reading (but not BUYING) the New Moon movie book while in Jo-Ann fabrics. Yes, I am just that big a nerd--I actually liked reading the how-we-did-it movie book better than actually SEEING the movie.

9. Finding out that I do in fact sleepwalk, or at the very least wander around the house half-asleep. I only discovered this after having a dream that I went down in the basement, discovered several celebrities inside said basement, and came back upstairs to get my parents, and then when I woke up I actually was standing in the middle of the master bedroom. The next day I reported this to my parents, and my dad said something along the lines of, "If I was having a dream that Bill Kaulitz [lead singer of Tokio Hotel, who Dad thinks is a total freak] was in my basement, I'd sleepwalk too."

10. Talking to my ICA Camp friends over FaceBook. Yes, I know I do that all the time ANYWAY, but it's much better without the threat of failing a homework check hanging over my head.

So yes, that was my Spring Break. Not the most exciting thing ever, but it was a nice break from the business of Interlochen. With the added bonus that now, if by some chance I ever go on a sponsor group trip and we drive on the highway (this is what you call "suspension of disbelief" and for some reason said sponsor cannot drive, I can take over, provided I stay in the right lane.

Okay...moving on.

So it's only been a few days since I got back to IAA, but whoa, what a week! So far we've had sunshine, rain, wind, cold, heat, and now--if I'm not mistaken--snow. At least, I assume it's snow outside my window and that there is not a flock of dandruff-infected birds sitting on the roof directly above me. As soon as the suitemates get up and I can enter and exit without waking up half the people on my floor, I will go out and investigate. For now, I think I'll just report on what's been going down for the past few days.

Who here knows this feeling: You're on the phone with a pal from back home. You're all snuggled up in your (admittedly not too comfortable) dorm bed with you cell phone and a package of Oreos. You're not arguing with your roommate/suitemates, they aren't arguing wiht each other, and everyone is, for once, getting along perfectly. The internet isn't down despite the fact that it's a near-thunderstorm outside. The room is warm but, since you have the window open, it's not a human-size oven. Everything is totally fine.

And then...

Your homeland best buddy informs you of ridiculous but still horrifying (to a teenager, anyway) drama which you can't help him with because you're out in Middle of Nowhere USA while they are stuck in your hometown.

Can you say, "oh, crap?" Because I sure can... Let me tell you something, few things are worse than hearing "Oh, by the way, my girlfriend is cheating on me with my best friend, I'm failing Chemistry, I crashed my parents car, got into a fight with Joe, and almost got arrested for underage smoking all in one weekend, but don't worry, I'm totally fine" over the phone from someone who you would have to sprout wings or obtain a jetpack in order to help. This is when you yell over the phone, "ARE YOU NUTS?!" and end up getting into a screaming argument about how Kristen Stewart could SO kick Ben Stiller's ass. (Don't ask.)

So, what's the solution? I have no f#$%ing clue. All I know is that I am finally beginning to understand why my parents worry so much whenever I vent about school disasters to them. Worrying about stuff you have virtually no control over totally sucks. So, my advice is...don't.

No, you didn't misread that, and no, that was not a typo. My theory is, all you can really do is give you friend (or, mom and dad, your KID) advice on how to handle the istuation and then CALM THE FRENCH DOWN, as my friend from fiction class would tell you. It's totally fine to be concerned. That being said, I've finally figured out after six months of school that stuff is going to happen whether you're there to help or not. Might as well not give yourself gray hairs over it.

And to the person who nearly gave me said gray hairs (you know who you are!), if I were you I would tell this so-called friend to go to hell, and then pour Jell-O down his shirt for good measure. But that's just me. Oh, and Kristen Stewart WOULD win that fight. I only say this because I would love to see someone--ANYONE--beat Ben Stiller.

Speaking of freaking out over things we can't control, was anyone else totally shocked when Aaron Gillespie quit UnderOath? Or was that just me? It was? Okay, moving on.

I also recently found out that Red Jumpsuit Apparatus has a new EP/album coming out sometime in May. It should not surprise anyone to know that I actually jumped off my bed and screamed, "YES!" when I heard this. (See, Ronnie? I TOLD you you're still my favorite.)

Okay. So, on to the freak show that has been Interlochen Weather since the third week of March. In said third week--the week leading up to break--it was warm. And sunny. And did I mention WARM?! I'm talking about sundress-wearing, shorts-wearing, frisbee-playing, sunbathing warm. And then as a welcome-back present, we were all treated to three days of cold and rain. ow, being a rain-lover, I was actually pretty happy about this. In fact, yesterday I went down to the waterfront (don't worry, any IAA officials who might see this, I didn't go INTO the lake, I'm not that crazy) and watched the rain hit the water for the better part of an hour and a half. Rolled around in the grass wearing jeans, a tank top, and a very thin sweatshirt and got SOAKED. This was, to me, total freaking heaven.

And it only got better when I got back to my dorm and had what I like to call a "Rocky Horror moment," as in, a similar situation to something that happened in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. The counselor at the desk looked at me like I might possibly need my head examined (and she might be right about that, but still) and remarked, very observantly, "You're...very wet." To which I happily replied, "Yes...it's raining," and had to try very, very hard to not laugh. I then went back upstairs to my dorm and had a good night of calling parents and working on fiction class homework (trust me, this IS fun) and then went to sleep listening to the rain.

After the magical night of rain it was a bit of a letdown to wake up and see snow flurrying outside my window. To be fair, it has STOPPED snowing by now (it is, as of this very moment, April 8 2010, 3:13 in the afternoon, just for the record), but as a friend said earlier, "Welcome to the seizure that is Interlochen weather," so we are probably in for a LOT more weirdness.

So, I've talked about music, I've talked about spring break, I've talked about weather. Hmm...what else is there to talk about? Oh, I know. OREOS! Which I mentioned earlier, but I just have to rant about this because it's ridiculous, and we all know how much Beatnik Belle loves ridiculousness.

What. Is. The. Deal. With. Oreos!?!?! Seriously, do we NEED seventeen different varieties of Oreo? There's the classic black-and-white thingie with the cookie halves and the white frosting in the middle. That's good. Then there's Double-Stuf, which is also pretty good. Then we have seasonal Oreos, with colored icing in the center, depending on which season we're talking about. That's fine. Can't we stop there?

Oh, no. We have to have "Uh-oh Oreos" with chocolate filling and vanilla cookie halves. We have to have "Golden Oreos" with vanilla cookies AND vanilla filling. We have to have "Cake Oreos" which are self-explanatory and, if nobody is offended by this opinion, rather disgusting. We have "Golden Cake Oreos" (see previous sentence). Mint Oreos. Peanut butter Oreos. Double chocolate Oreos. "Fudgee" Oreos, a.k.a. chocolate Keebler cookies made in a skinny Oreo mold instead of an Elf mold.

I think I speak for the entire cookie-eating public when I say, "WHAT THE HECK?!"

Seriously -- does anyone actually BUY the million and one other varieties of Oreo? If you do please, by all means, TELL ME. This is getting insane. It's only a matter of time before they come out with "Chicken Pot Pie Oreos."

With that rant ended, I think I'll post this and go to the prom committee meeting. Once again, I PROMISE I will never go so long without posting again.

STOLEN DIALOGUE: CABIN 16 EDITION

(for you, Hannah!)

Person one: So when I lifted up my bedspread I saw three chipmunks under my bed.
Person two: What did you do?
Person one: I said hi!

"Nothing awkward ever happens to me."

"Tame the bangs!"

"I swear on whatever is above us...including the squirrels..."

"We don't want anyone getting sick. So use Purell! Use it every time you come in and every time you go out! Purell, Purell, Purell!"

"I'M STRANDED!"

Person one: Last night I dreamed that I slept through camp!
Person two: Last night I dreamed that I was on a yacht with Adam Siska and President Obama.
[later on]
Person one: I want to listen to Iron Maiden so bad right now. Like, I don't think you guys can understand.
Person two: Can you understand getting pushed off a boat by Sisky Business?
Person one: Can you understand sleeping through six weeks of camp? I woke up saying, 'What the heck is going on?'
Person two: I woke up saying, 'Don't arrest him, Mr. President...he's just drunk.'

Person one: Hey, Leah, will you check my caper [daily chore]?
Person two: No way, I'll get hit by a flying rubber glove!
[That last one takes a bit of explanation. Basically, we had two dancers in our cabin who were always getting "ice packs," a.k.a. water-filled, frozen rubber gloves, from the nurse. So one day, a couple of people realized that the rubber glove would make a neat trick, so they rigged it up to the ceiling so that when a string was pulled, the glove-on-a-swing would whiz down and whack the person walking beneath it. There were a couple of days where you couldn't walk to the door without getting hit by a frozen glove!]

Person one: Uh, guys? Why is there a wrapped tampon in the toilet?
Person two: I...uh...got hungry. I ate a tampon. [pause] Dude, I can't believe I just said that!

"Yeah, she and I are the resident lesbians of Cabin 16..."
[Once again, it takes a bit of explanation. There were two girls who jokingly flirted with each other throughout the time at camp, even though neither one was actually gay. One night, one of the girls said this to someone who was visiting our cabin and got a shocked stare in response.]

Person one: Are you sick?
Person two: Oh, I just have Thrush. But don't worry, you can't actually catch it from me. Well, unless you drink from my water bottle, use my toothbrush, or stick your tongue in my mouth.
Person one [sarcastic]: Oh, darn. I was hoping we could make out tomorrow.

[referring to a good-looking, long-haired guy]: "Now, on to Jesus...ah, what a babe."

Person one: Uh, guys? This is bad.
Person two: What happened?
Person one: Michael Jackson is dead. Like, he just died, like half an hour ago.
[shocked silence]
Person three: Maybe...every tabloid in America is just playing a joke on us.