Did I promise to blog more often? Oh yes, I did! I hereby promise at least TEN posts in August. You know the last time I had ten posts in a month? NEVER. The most I've ever done in a month was seven, and that was waaay back in February, when I started the damn thing. So, I promise you--TEN POSTS IN AUGUST. (Although technically this one is a July post. So don't count this one. But. AUGUST = TEN POSTS. I promise.)
Honestly? I had another "I fail epically" day today. I got up at noon (this actually could be blamed on the fact that I spent almost twelve hours on the road yesterday and didn't get to sleep until two A.M., but I won't even go there), and planned to spend the day cleaning up the million and two messes around my house that I personally made, and then come up with my thesis ideas for senior year.
So how did I do in those two goals? A big fat zero for two. Here's what I actually did today:
1. Ate a stale peanut butter sandwich and some undersalted trail mix for breakfast.
2. Watched Twilight. Go ahead and laugh; you know you want to.
3. Took a loooong shower, most of which was spent wrestling with/washing my bird's-nest hair, and spent what felt like hours getting every single knot out of said bird's-nest hair. To all short-haired people, namely my father: I AM JEALOUS OF YOU, IT TAKES YOU FIFTEEN FREAKING MINUTES TO SHOWER AND BRUSH YOUR HAIR.
4. Went to dinner with my parents.
5. Read books that I'd read before. (FAIL, BEATNIK BELLE. FAIL.)
6. Worked out for the first time in a week, which felt AMAZING.
7. Facebooked.
8. Complained about missing Interlochen.
9. Argued with my parents.
10. Had good, non-argumental discussions with my parents.
Was there ANY thesis-planning or cleaning on that list? Of course not. GRR.
The thing is, I HAVE ideas. It's just that I'm worried that they suck. That's normal, right? No? Okay then, I fail once again.
My problem is that I can't seem to write anything other than teenage girl stories. Now, before you smack your forehead and go, "No, DUH!" let me explain myself. Last year at the film festival, a good chunk of the theses involved teenagers. BUT. Most of them also involved ADULTS. There was at least one adult part in most of the productions. Not mine. I didn't even feature adults as EXTRAS in mine. Why? Because I repeat: I cannot write about anything besides teenagers. And, to throw salt in that wound, most of my stories take place at a boarding school in the middle of nowhere. And most of my protagonists are artists.
Sound familiar?
To be fair, I'm getting better about this. I'm actually consciously TRYING to come up with stories that are centered around, or at least include, adults or young children. But in all honesty, I'm failing at this. I don't even know why. It's not like I can't relate to adults at all. I'm actually quite good at it. I know how to talk to adults; I like hanging out with adults. Hell, I'm almost legally an adult myself. But for whatever reason, there is something in my brain right now that forces me to write teenage dramas.
Problem #2: Every protagonist I come up with, male or female, turns into me. And being the self-centered idiot that I unfortunately can be at times, I rarely realize this until I'm halfway through a treatment. I tried writing a treatment about a sewage-plant worker and realized six paragraphs in that I was essentially writing about me, in ten years, working at a sewage plant. It was a thirty-year-old man. And yet the character was ME. Why?!?!?!
I had this problem last year, with characters who weren't ME at all. I did not intend to represent myself as an eighteen-year-old gay dude in love with his closeted roommate. Nor did I intend to represent myself as an out-and-proud visual artist who liked to read up on mythology and group-call his friends. So why did people automatically assume, "Oh, she's totally Gavin," or, "She thinks she's like Jackson." Um, no. I don't. They are my characters and my babies, but they are not me.
I think the problem here is not that I can't write, arrogant as that may sound. It's that I have a limited spectrum of things I actually want to write about. Can anyone relate to that, or am I once again on my own here?
Think about it: Do you just wake up and go, "Oh, I want to make a film about a windup doll who eats people?" Chances are, not really. It comes from a combination of circumstances, luck, and in general, just the way your mind works. Some people can look at an object and BOOM, instant story. Others have to twist things and think things over and look at things ten different ways before they've got an idea hashed out.
Guess which group I'm in?
The idea for Possession came out three things: 1) I have dozens of gay friends and observed their relationships more than straight teenage relationships, 2) I've lived situations like Gavin's, where you are unfortunately "just the friend," and 3) I saw the film Mysterious Skin, where an abused kid thinks that in the past he'd been abducted by aliens. The film contains plenty of homosexual references and (I'm about to be indelicate, skip to the next paragraph if you are easily shocked) gay sex scenes, so combining aliens and homosexuality just seemed like a strange--but very, VERY interesting and cool--concept to me.
The thing that evolved from Alien Water Torture to Possession is, for all the feedback and suggestions I had to put up with, my story. My ideas. My concepts. And it has its faults, but I love it anyway. So why, for the love of all things good and decent, can I not just write a damn treatment and have done with it? I KNOW I can write. I KNOW that I have ideas. I just can't seem to make myself do anything, and I think I know why: I don't want to screw up.
What else is new?
But here comes the cheesy self-pep talk: I'm not going to give up. (Is anyone surprised?) I didn't give up on Possession, and I'm not going to give up on my senior thesis, especially not before I've even started to write the damn thing. I'm an MPA; this is what I do, it's what I love. It'd be pretty stupid of me to throw in the towel and make a crappy, mediocre film just because I'm scared that people won't like it. Hell, I had people telling me every step of the way that they didn't like Possession, that it would never work, that I should do something different. But in the end, I got the film made--and people DID like it.
The point of all my rambling tonight: I'm terrified of failing on my senior thesis. But I can't let that stop me. To use the cliche Nike slogan: I have to...JUST DO IT.
STOLEN DIALOGUE:
[This stolen dialogue was all taken from businessmen whom I overheard, EVERY MORNING, when I was trying to SLEEP, while in North Carolina with my mother. They would stand outside my hotel room door and yak, added to that I would overhear them when I went to get ice. Believe me, I've got a LOT of material from these guys...]
"At least you're not traveling with someone who considers protein bars and Gatorade God's perfect meal."
"My boss couldn't find his ass if he sat right on it."
"How can any sane person get up at five in the morning to go for a jog in one-hundred-and-ten-degree heat? I ask you. That cannot be normal."
"The TV in this place is like pulling teeth. It's like they chose the networks with the most advertising and put them all on one television. And then they added in the stations with the worst reality stations to add insult to injury."
"I could insult you right now...but I won't, because I'm a mature adult."
"Between the southern accent and the constant references to my 'communication skills,' I'm starting to feel like I work for Dr. Phil."
"They charge you ten bucks for a cup of coffee and some damn cereal. It's enough to make a person long for the Hampton Inn."
"I don't want to be fired on account of stupidity."
"What am I supposed to do, have an affair because she doesn't like the vacuum cleaner I bought her? Divorce the woman so she'll clean the house? That doesn't make any sense."
"I'm beginning to miss having Bush as the President. At least a man didn't feel bad making fun of him."
Person one: I don't understand teenagers. My daughter loves Twilight. She says she's going to marry a werewolf. When I was a kid, the girls just wanted to get with the TV stars.
Person two: At least your kid's, what, twelve? My sister is thirty and I swear to God, she thinks that vampires exist...and that they sparkle.
"My wife made me get a FaceBook page, and now she all she does is complain that I don't update it often enough. I can't win."
Showing posts with label thesis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thesis. Show all posts
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, April 30, 2010
I've Got Fifteen Friends and a Crowbar that says You Ain't Gonna do Jack!
The friends are the cast and crew of Aaron T.'s epic thesis shoot, and the crowbar(s) are the epic faculty of the MPA department. And today, we did jack all right. We finished shooting Aaron's film today!
Now, this was the first time I've had an actual, official job on a thesis set. I was gripping, which for anyone who doesn't know means that I was essentially the gopher--as in, go-for; extension cables, lights, sandbags, and in one instance actors. I hauled around equipment, carried stuff to and from the mule (a.k.a. the equipment truck), helped set up lights, and most importantly (sarcasm hand raised) worked the fog machine.
For anyone who does not know, a fog machine is the devil's invention. A person thinks, "Oh, it's just haze. How bad can it be?" Oh, it's bad. It is very, very bad. It is enough to make a person cough, as several of us learned the hard way the past few days. It is enough to draw any oxygen out of the air and turn it into a faintly stinky gas that, trust me, no one really wants to breathe. And when you're using this invention in a huge room, it's bad enough. But when you use it in a tiny enclosed space--as we were doing today--it makes you want to scream...but you can't, because the scream will inevitably turn into a hacking cough.
In fact, it got so bad that at one point, I decided there was nothing better to do than joke about it. We were shooting a scene in which Logan's character is trying to pull Lucy out of a window. Lucky Logan was allowed to stay outside, with the nice breeze and the sunshine, while the rest of us sweated and coughed in that hazy, stifling basement. So between takes, I stood under the window, held up both hands as if pleading to be rescued, and said, "Logan! Help! Save me from the haze!" And to my great delight, Logan actually found this amusing.
Later on, someone had to enter the Room of Doom (a.k.a. said hazy, stifling basement) and I opened the door (which was locked from the outside) and greeted the newcomer with, "Welcome to our Inferno!" and earned myself more laughs from the cast and crew. Success again!
I like to think my joking and attempts to stay positive contributed to the good atmosphere of this shoot. Then again, I also like to think that the ghost of Jack Kerouac haunts this campus, so maybe my opinion doesn't really count. ;)
To Aaron T., I just wanna say, good job, man. I know I've said it a million times already, but trust me, you deserve to hear it a million more. I liked working for you and I liked it double because I was working my favorite job. Dude. Next year, if you need a grip on ANY shoot (and I mean class projects too, not just the big Thesis Film), I am there. I mean it.
To the cast (who probably don't follow this blog, but whatevs), a shout out for pure epicness. Helene and Ian, you were amazingly creepy. I can't wait to see a cut of this film and be scared out of my wits by the two of you (yes, that IS in fact a compliment). Lucy and Logan...wow. Wow, wow, wow. You were thrown around, pushed down, slid across rooms and shoved out windows. And then after all that, you both said, "Okay, what next?" PERFECTION. I hope that I get to work with you in the future (a.k.a. next Academy season...).
To the rest of the crew--THUMBS UP. Little complaining, lots of hard work and dedication. I think this is why gripping is my favorite part of MPA--it enables you to see what really goes into making a film, to observe the DP, AD, AC, Gaffer, Audio, and Continuity and realize that whether they're running around like headless chickens (which is, trust me, what Kylie [gaffer], Charlotte [audio], and I were doing today) or not, they still are working their asses off.
To me, THAT is what MPA is about. Working hard, sweating like a horse, losing sleep, freaking out, and loving every damn minute of it.
A few months ago I Facebooked, "It kind of just hit me that this really is "thesis season" and we're all gonna be insanely busy until May. We're going to unload and load the Mule every other day...spend hours revising scripts and treatments...stress about who will be our thesis advisor or on our crews...spend unlimited hours in the editing suites. All I have to say is, HELL YEAH. THIS is why I became an MPA. :)"
That still holds true. I don't care how hard this is. I am proud to be a filmmaker, and I am proud to be an Interlochen Motion Picture Arts major.
STOLEN DIALOGUE
"I'm not really in the habit of looking at people's bottoms."
[talking about school uniform]
Teacher: So, the physics teacher taught me to look at people's bottoms.
Student: Well, out of context, that's just wonderful...
[still talking about uniforms]
Teacher: Can you go find yourself some britches that aren’t jeans that are close enough to navy blue to be uniform?
Student: I can’t! All my blue pants are dirty!
Teacher: Well, you need navy blue britches. So go get yourself a pair. Borrow some, maybe?
Student: I can’t — dude, my friends are [Really Skinny Dude #1] and [Really Skinny Dude #2]! I can’t fit into their pants! I don’t know how they can fit into their pants!
"So today I realized there are directions on the side of Pop-Tart boxes. Dude, no person is stupid enough to need DIRECTIONS to eat a Pop-Tart. That's gotta be a misprint. Or, like, a really bad joke from the Pop-Tart company."
"I've been living with him for so long that everything sounds like sarcasm to me."
Person one: I'm going to go back to my dorm and sleep for a month.
Person two: Good idea, I think I'll join you.
"I think the main reason I've never done anything stupid is because I'm smart."
[seeing the effect of the fog machine for the first time]
"Oh my God...it's like The Mist in here!"
Person one: So we had a fog machine on set today.
Person two: Oh my God, did you die?
Person one: No, but I now have proof that my thesis advisor is insane.
Person two: Really? Why?
Person one: Because he ran around going, 'Oh my God, you have haze! That makes me so happy!' And he didn't seem to notice that we were asphyxiating.
[talking about riding on the back of the grip truck]
Person one: Can we ride?
Teacher: Well...
Person one: Dude, you would be the coolest teacher EVER!
Person two: Dude, he'd be the fired-est teacher ever.
Now, this was the first time I've had an actual, official job on a thesis set. I was gripping, which for anyone who doesn't know means that I was essentially the gopher--as in, go-for; extension cables, lights, sandbags, and in one instance actors. I hauled around equipment, carried stuff to and from the mule (a.k.a. the equipment truck), helped set up lights, and most importantly (sarcasm hand raised) worked the fog machine.
For anyone who does not know, a fog machine is the devil's invention. A person thinks, "Oh, it's just haze. How bad can it be?" Oh, it's bad. It is very, very bad. It is enough to make a person cough, as several of us learned the hard way the past few days. It is enough to draw any oxygen out of the air and turn it into a faintly stinky gas that, trust me, no one really wants to breathe. And when you're using this invention in a huge room, it's bad enough. But when you use it in a tiny enclosed space--as we were doing today--it makes you want to scream...but you can't, because the scream will inevitably turn into a hacking cough.
In fact, it got so bad that at one point, I decided there was nothing better to do than joke about it. We were shooting a scene in which Logan's character is trying to pull Lucy out of a window. Lucky Logan was allowed to stay outside, with the nice breeze and the sunshine, while the rest of us sweated and coughed in that hazy, stifling basement. So between takes, I stood under the window, held up both hands as if pleading to be rescued, and said, "Logan! Help! Save me from the haze!" And to my great delight, Logan actually found this amusing.
Later on, someone had to enter the Room of Doom (a.k.a. said hazy, stifling basement) and I opened the door (which was locked from the outside) and greeted the newcomer with, "Welcome to our Inferno!" and earned myself more laughs from the cast and crew. Success again!
I like to think my joking and attempts to stay positive contributed to the good atmosphere of this shoot. Then again, I also like to think that the ghost of Jack Kerouac haunts this campus, so maybe my opinion doesn't really count. ;)
To Aaron T., I just wanna say, good job, man. I know I've said it a million times already, but trust me, you deserve to hear it a million more. I liked working for you and I liked it double because I was working my favorite job. Dude. Next year, if you need a grip on ANY shoot (and I mean class projects too, not just the big Thesis Film), I am there. I mean it.
To the cast (who probably don't follow this blog, but whatevs), a shout out for pure epicness. Helene and Ian, you were amazingly creepy. I can't wait to see a cut of this film and be scared out of my wits by the two of you (yes, that IS in fact a compliment). Lucy and Logan...wow. Wow, wow, wow. You were thrown around, pushed down, slid across rooms and shoved out windows. And then after all that, you both said, "Okay, what next?" PERFECTION. I hope that I get to work with you in the future (a.k.a. next Academy season...).
To the rest of the crew--THUMBS UP. Little complaining, lots of hard work and dedication. I think this is why gripping is my favorite part of MPA--it enables you to see what really goes into making a film, to observe the DP, AD, AC, Gaffer, Audio, and Continuity and realize that whether they're running around like headless chickens (which is, trust me, what Kylie [gaffer], Charlotte [audio], and I were doing today) or not, they still are working their asses off.
To me, THAT is what MPA is about. Working hard, sweating like a horse, losing sleep, freaking out, and loving every damn minute of it.
A few months ago I Facebooked, "It kind of just hit me that this really is "thesis season" and we're all gonna be insanely busy until May. We're going to unload and load the Mule every other day...spend hours revising scripts and treatments...stress about who will be our thesis advisor or on our crews...spend unlimited hours in the editing suites. All I have to say is, HELL YEAH. THIS is why I became an MPA. :)"
That still holds true. I don't care how hard this is. I am proud to be a filmmaker, and I am proud to be an Interlochen Motion Picture Arts major.
STOLEN DIALOGUE
"I'm not really in the habit of looking at people's bottoms."
[talking about school uniform]
Teacher: So, the physics teacher taught me to look at people's bottoms.
Student: Well, out of context, that's just wonderful...
[still talking about uniforms]
Teacher: Can you go find yourself some britches that aren’t jeans that are close enough to navy blue to be uniform?
Student: I can’t! All my blue pants are dirty!
Teacher: Well, you need navy blue britches. So go get yourself a pair. Borrow some, maybe?
Student: I can’t — dude, my friends are [Really Skinny Dude #1] and [Really Skinny Dude #2]! I can’t fit into their pants! I don’t know how they can fit into their pants!
"So today I realized there are directions on the side of Pop-Tart boxes. Dude, no person is stupid enough to need DIRECTIONS to eat a Pop-Tart. That's gotta be a misprint. Or, like, a really bad joke from the Pop-Tart company."
"I've been living with him for so long that everything sounds like sarcasm to me."
Person one: I'm going to go back to my dorm and sleep for a month.
Person two: Good idea, I think I'll join you.
"I think the main reason I've never done anything stupid is because I'm smart."
[seeing the effect of the fog machine for the first time]
"Oh my God...it's like The Mist in here!"
Person one: So we had a fog machine on set today.
Person two: Oh my God, did you die?
Person one: No, but I now have proof that my thesis advisor is insane.
Person two: Really? Why?
Person one: Because he ran around going, 'Oh my God, you have haze! That makes me so happy!' And he didn't seem to notice that we were asphyxiating.
[talking about riding on the back of the grip truck]
Person one: Can we ride?
Teacher: Well...
Person one: Dude, you would be the coolest teacher EVER!
Person two: Dude, he'd be the fired-est teacher ever.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
The hardest thing about making a movie is...
...Getting everyone together in one place.
And the sad thing is, I am so not even joking about that.
Okay. So here is my to-do list for my movie (and this all has to be done by Saturday OR ELSE):
1. Get with my art director. Together, we will get all of my actors together and figure out their wardrobe for the film. This will hopefully be accomplished by having an "open room," that is, having guys and girls together in one dorm room, which at Interlochen is kind of like convincing your parents to let you have your boyfriend and his buddies over while they're (your parents) out. You KNOW nothing is going to happen, but they aren't so sure.
2. Get two of my actors together and have them pose for a photograph so that my VA buddy can draw a picture version of it in my sketchbook.
3. Find VA buddy (hopefully get together with her and my art director, so we're all on the same page), email her the photos, give her the lowdown on what I want for the drawing, and figure out a fail-safe deadline for said drawing.
4. Get my two leads together with a handful of extras so we can get some background photos. Once again, my art director must be present.
5. Get with my composer and talk about what the music will sound like. Give him the most recent version of the ever-changing script and show him some preview stills (a.k.a. the pictures I took for my art director and Visual Artist) so he'll have a jump-start on writing the actual music.
6. Have a meeting with my thesis advisor. Discuss possibility of adding dialogue to the script. Get into argument. Argue until it's time for class to begin. Get to class. Get out of class. Repeat process.
7. Get together with DP and gaffer (a.k.a. cameraperson and lighting person) and talk about shots, storyboards, lights, and other such technical details. The challenge here is finding a night this week when gaffer is not swamped with her owh thesis film and DP is not busy with friends and/or school.
8. Go on a prop/costume hunt with my art director. I think this is self-explanatory.
As you can see, most of these projects involve meeting with other people. Now, I have a hard enough time getting stuff done on my own. But when I have to coordinate times and dates with half a dozen others, my time management skills go even deeper into the crapper. That's really not good, especially seeing as I am shooting next Wednesday and my rehearsal is this Friday.
There is only one phrase that describes my current schedule. In the words of my very good friend Emily: This is just craptacular.
THIS AFTERNOON:
Confirm audio recordist (which is kind of necessary for a film, having an audio recordist, I mean). Chase down producer and make sure he got the correct dates for the actual shoot. Set meeting with thesis advisor.
TONIGHT
Homework. Food service. More homework. IM with long-distance friend. Sleep (optional). Email VA and explain the dimensions/specifications of the picture that she will draw for my set. Meet with art director and confirm appointments with actors for the photo shoots/costume sessions. Call parents.
TOMORROW
Homework. World History quiz (yuck!). Photo shoot with actors. Email shots to VA. Possibly have that meeting with DP and gaffer. Meet with thesis advisor sometime at noon. Commence arguing. Lock self in room and cry because no one understands my ingenius vision. Calm self with Michael Jackson or Red Jumpsuit Apparatus music. Email thesis advisor and admit that he MIGHT be right about that one pesky line of dialogue that I don't really want to edit. Wonder if I'm a sellout. Decide I'm not a sellout and move on. Call parents.
THURSDAY
Community meeting. Homework. Photo shoot with actors and extras. Possible costume session. Possible prop hunt. Hang posters for GSA and get those lovely questions such as, "Why are you doing that when you could be working on your thesis?" Double food service shift to make up for the fact that I missed last Thursday's shift. Call parents. Rehearsal with actors. Feel nervous around Bill. Feel nervous around actor whom I barely even knew before auditions. Try not to curse around actors or Bill.
FRIDAY
Meet with composer. Meet with art director. Possible continuation of costume session and prop hunts (depends on how much we get done on Thursday). Homework. Homework. Did I mention homework? Possible prelight. Mentally curse the MPA calender for not allowing me to participate in Day of Silence. Call parents and complain profusely.
SATURDAY
Meet with art director again. Finalize whatever else we have to do for my shoot. Use foul language when I inevitably discover that there's just ONE MORE THING that we should've done during the week but instead will have to do over the weekend. Scare art director. Prelight? Curse MPA calender again for not allowing one of my favorite people to be on my shoot. Kick door in frustration. Procrastinate weekend homework. Call parents.
SUNDAY
Wake up early to go to church. Brunch with fellow churchgoers. Take nap. Meet with art director to do whatever we didn't get done in the week. Scare art director. Meet with my two leads and work on chemistry. Meet with one lead and give the ever-unhelpful advice of "just be yourself." Kick door again. Curse again. Scare actors. Scare AD. Repeat MJ/RJA calming ritual and work on beat analysis. Call parents. Continue procrastination.
MONDAY
Wake up early for student senate. Go to mall for final prop-hunt. Scare producer and art director one last time. Fix all last-minute miscommunications. Meet with composer final time. Sleep. FaceBook. Possibly blog. IM with long-distance friends. Rush to get all homework done before class on Tuesday morning. Cuss. Wish for a three-day weekend. Call parents.
TUESDAY
Last day before shooting. Panic. Call best friend (who conveniently lives out of state) and panic some more. Call friends from old high school (a.k.a. "my boys") and panic until they give me a reality check and shut me up. Panic about all homework that I didn't get done over the weekend. Curse. Food service. Curse some more. Call composer and complain. Get reality check from composer. Call DP and complain. Get reality check from DP. Homework. Study. Call parents. Cry. Listen to MJ until I fall asleep.
WEDNESDAY
Shoot film. Annoy everyone on set with my hyperness. Promise myself an ice cream from Bud's if I do not curse ONCE on my set. Fail at not cursing and lose the Bud's ice cream. Try to stay calm, which will be harder than usual as I cannot just whip out my iPod and listen to RJA or MJ when I flip out in the middle of the set. Get through day and feel ridiculously proud of self. Call parents and gush about how wonderful my first day of shooting was.
THURSDAY
Sleep in (finally!). Do homework. Go to community meeting. Try not to obsess over tomorrow's shoot. Food service. Listen to MJ and RJA and try to stay calm. Call parents.
FRIDAY
Shoot film. (See above.) Try to get Andrew Way to cry. Get laughed at. Hear thesis advisor say "I told you to cast the other guy!" Argue profusely with thesis advisor. Watch Andrew nail scene in one take. Gloat at thesis advisor. Repeat process until shooting is done. Homework. Screenplay reading. See parents? Sleep (optional).
SATURDAY
Go to class. Forcibly thank God that I will get to sleep in this weekend. See parents and hug the crap out of them. Try on prom dress. Sleep.
There you go, people. A week in the life of an MPA. Well, more like two weeks. And keep in mind, this is just what goes on with the film...I didn't even talk about prepping for the screenplay reading, studying for the world history quiz, studying for the SAT (which I'm not taking until June, thank God), hanging with friends (IF I have time to do that this week)...
Yeah. This kind of makes me think about the first week of school, when I met up with a couple of actors and asked them what they liked to do in their spare time. They replied with scathing looks and condescendingly informed me, "We're theater majors. We don't get spare time."
I'm an MPA. I don't get spare time.
And I love every minute of it.
STOLEN DIALOGUE:
[in class, doing a dialogue exercise]: "I was watching Spongebob with a lot of people...Edward was one of them...he was wearing a pink sweater...and man, he was yummy!"
[What makes it even funnier is that it was a guy who was saying this...]
Person one: How about mumblecore porn?
Person two: Uh, subject change please.
"When I'm high, five minutes feels like an hour...put that together with listening to an orchestra...dear God, I think I just found a way to time-travel!"
[talking about my film teacher changing a schedule]
Me: Michael doesn't change his mind easily. Jeff and I will have to tag-team him.
My dad: You take him low and Jeff can hit him high. He should go down like a bunch...of...BROCCOLI!!!
"Vanessa Hudgens is in Rent? Dude, the apocalypse is SO gonna hit when that show comes out."
"I would so love to see you participate in Day of Silence. It might be the only chance I ever have to see you not curse for a whole 24 hours."
"I love how we all get on FaceBook as soon as Michael walks out of the room..."
"Hello, Johnston-Carter zoo, how can I help you?"
"Hey, guys? Just so you know, we're going to have a coup d'etat when Mr. McCall walks into the room. Someone grab the guillotine, okay?"
Film teacher: At the risk of sounding like a noob, what's a snuggie?
All of us: Oh my God! Michael! You don't know what a snuggie is?
Film teacher: I repeat...at the risk of sounding like a noob, what's a snuggie?
"Did you really expect All Quiet on the Western Front to be a happy movie?"
And the sad thing is, I am so not even joking about that.
Okay. So here is my to-do list for my movie (and this all has to be done by Saturday OR ELSE):
1. Get with my art director. Together, we will get all of my actors together and figure out their wardrobe for the film. This will hopefully be accomplished by having an "open room," that is, having guys and girls together in one dorm room, which at Interlochen is kind of like convincing your parents to let you have your boyfriend and his buddies over while they're (your parents) out. You KNOW nothing is going to happen, but they aren't so sure.
2. Get two of my actors together and have them pose for a photograph so that my VA buddy can draw a picture version of it in my sketchbook.
3. Find VA buddy (hopefully get together with her and my art director, so we're all on the same page), email her the photos, give her the lowdown on what I want for the drawing, and figure out a fail-safe deadline for said drawing.
4. Get my two leads together with a handful of extras so we can get some background photos. Once again, my art director must be present.
5. Get with my composer and talk about what the music will sound like. Give him the most recent version of the ever-changing script and show him some preview stills (a.k.a. the pictures I took for my art director and Visual Artist) so he'll have a jump-start on writing the actual music.
6. Have a meeting with my thesis advisor. Discuss possibility of adding dialogue to the script. Get into argument. Argue until it's time for class to begin. Get to class. Get out of class. Repeat process.
7. Get together with DP and gaffer (a.k.a. cameraperson and lighting person) and talk about shots, storyboards, lights, and other such technical details. The challenge here is finding a night this week when gaffer is not swamped with her owh thesis film and DP is not busy with friends and/or school.
8. Go on a prop/costume hunt with my art director. I think this is self-explanatory.
As you can see, most of these projects involve meeting with other people. Now, I have a hard enough time getting stuff done on my own. But when I have to coordinate times and dates with half a dozen others, my time management skills go even deeper into the crapper. That's really not good, especially seeing as I am shooting next Wednesday and my rehearsal is this Friday.
There is only one phrase that describes my current schedule. In the words of my very good friend Emily: This is just craptacular.
THIS AFTERNOON:
Confirm audio recordist (which is kind of necessary for a film, having an audio recordist, I mean). Chase down producer and make sure he got the correct dates for the actual shoot. Set meeting with thesis advisor.
TONIGHT
Homework. Food service. More homework. IM with long-distance friend. Sleep (optional). Email VA and explain the dimensions/specifications of the picture that she will draw for my set. Meet with art director and confirm appointments with actors for the photo shoots/costume sessions. Call parents.
TOMORROW
Homework. World History quiz (yuck!). Photo shoot with actors. Email shots to VA. Possibly have that meeting with DP and gaffer. Meet with thesis advisor sometime at noon. Commence arguing. Lock self in room and cry because no one understands my ingenius vision. Calm self with Michael Jackson or Red Jumpsuit Apparatus music. Email thesis advisor and admit that he MIGHT be right about that one pesky line of dialogue that I don't really want to edit. Wonder if I'm a sellout. Decide I'm not a sellout and move on. Call parents.
THURSDAY
Community meeting. Homework. Photo shoot with actors and extras. Possible costume session. Possible prop hunt. Hang posters for GSA and get those lovely questions such as, "Why are you doing that when you could be working on your thesis?" Double food service shift to make up for the fact that I missed last Thursday's shift. Call parents. Rehearsal with actors. Feel nervous around Bill. Feel nervous around actor whom I barely even knew before auditions. Try not to curse around actors or Bill.
FRIDAY
Meet with composer. Meet with art director. Possible continuation of costume session and prop hunts (depends on how much we get done on Thursday). Homework. Homework. Did I mention homework? Possible prelight. Mentally curse the MPA calender for not allowing me to participate in Day of Silence. Call parents and complain profusely.
SATURDAY
Meet with art director again. Finalize whatever else we have to do for my shoot. Use foul language when I inevitably discover that there's just ONE MORE THING that we should've done during the week but instead will have to do over the weekend. Scare art director. Prelight? Curse MPA calender again for not allowing one of my favorite people to be on my shoot. Kick door in frustration. Procrastinate weekend homework. Call parents.
SUNDAY
Wake up early to go to church. Brunch with fellow churchgoers. Take nap. Meet with art director to do whatever we didn't get done in the week. Scare art director. Meet with my two leads and work on chemistry. Meet with one lead and give the ever-unhelpful advice of "just be yourself." Kick door again. Curse again. Scare actors. Scare AD. Repeat MJ/RJA calming ritual and work on beat analysis. Call parents. Continue procrastination.
MONDAY
Wake up early for student senate. Go to mall for final prop-hunt. Scare producer and art director one last time. Fix all last-minute miscommunications. Meet with composer final time. Sleep. FaceBook. Possibly blog. IM with long-distance friends. Rush to get all homework done before class on Tuesday morning. Cuss. Wish for a three-day weekend. Call parents.
TUESDAY
Last day before shooting. Panic. Call best friend (who conveniently lives out of state) and panic some more. Call friends from old high school (a.k.a. "my boys") and panic until they give me a reality check and shut me up. Panic about all homework that I didn't get done over the weekend. Curse. Food service. Curse some more. Call composer and complain. Get reality check from composer. Call DP and complain. Get reality check from DP. Homework. Study. Call parents. Cry. Listen to MJ until I fall asleep.
WEDNESDAY
Shoot film. Annoy everyone on set with my hyperness. Promise myself an ice cream from Bud's if I do not curse ONCE on my set. Fail at not cursing and lose the Bud's ice cream. Try to stay calm, which will be harder than usual as I cannot just whip out my iPod and listen to RJA or MJ when I flip out in the middle of the set. Get through day and feel ridiculously proud of self. Call parents and gush about how wonderful my first day of shooting was.
THURSDAY
Sleep in (finally!). Do homework. Go to community meeting. Try not to obsess over tomorrow's shoot. Food service. Listen to MJ and RJA and try to stay calm. Call parents.
FRIDAY
Shoot film. (See above.) Try to get Andrew Way to cry. Get laughed at. Hear thesis advisor say "I told you to cast the other guy!" Argue profusely with thesis advisor. Watch Andrew nail scene in one take. Gloat at thesis advisor. Repeat process until shooting is done. Homework. Screenplay reading. See parents? Sleep (optional).
SATURDAY
Go to class. Forcibly thank God that I will get to sleep in this weekend. See parents and hug the crap out of them. Try on prom dress. Sleep.
There you go, people. A week in the life of an MPA. Well, more like two weeks. And keep in mind, this is just what goes on with the film...I didn't even talk about prepping for the screenplay reading, studying for the world history quiz, studying for the SAT (which I'm not taking until June, thank God), hanging with friends (IF I have time to do that this week)...
Yeah. This kind of makes me think about the first week of school, when I met up with a couple of actors and asked them what they liked to do in their spare time. They replied with scathing looks and condescendingly informed me, "We're theater majors. We don't get spare time."
I'm an MPA. I don't get spare time.
And I love every minute of it.
STOLEN DIALOGUE:
[in class, doing a dialogue exercise]: "I was watching Spongebob with a lot of people...Edward was one of them...he was wearing a pink sweater...and man, he was yummy!"
[What makes it even funnier is that it was a guy who was saying this...]
Person one: How about mumblecore porn?
Person two: Uh, subject change please.
"When I'm high, five minutes feels like an hour...put that together with listening to an orchestra...dear God, I think I just found a way to time-travel!"
[talking about my film teacher changing a schedule]
Me: Michael doesn't change his mind easily. Jeff and I will have to tag-team him.
My dad: You take him low and Jeff can hit him high. He should go down like a bunch...of...BROCCOLI!!!
"Vanessa Hudgens is in Rent? Dude, the apocalypse is SO gonna hit when that show comes out."
"I would so love to see you participate in Day of Silence. It might be the only chance I ever have to see you not curse for a whole 24 hours."
"I love how we all get on FaceBook as soon as Michael walks out of the room..."
"Hello, Johnston-Carter zoo, how can I help you?"
"Hey, guys? Just so you know, we're going to have a coup d'etat when Mr. McCall walks into the room. Someone grab the guillotine, okay?"
Film teacher: At the risk of sounding like a noob, what's a snuggie?
All of us: Oh my God! Michael! You don't know what a snuggie is?
Film teacher: I repeat...at the risk of sounding like a noob, what's a snuggie?
"Did you really expect All Quiet on the Western Front to be a happy movie?"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)