FML, FML, FML, FM bloody L

So it's just been one of those days, you know? I ate waaaay too much chocolate yesterday. In fact I ate virtually nothing but chocolate yesterday, so last night I did what I thought was the sensible thing and went to the school pub for some food. Well, there wasn't much to choose from--they were about to close and anyway, they have too much fried stuff. So I bought an egg salad wrap and ate that, thinking that my stomach (which had been gurgling all day, thanks to the overconsumption of chocolate) would thank me for it. Long story short: BAD IDEA. I felt sick before I even went to bed, and ever since I woke up this morning (way too early might I add) I've felt sick. FML #1.

I have finals, starting on Monday. FML #2.

I can't study for said finals because I feel like someone injected my stomach with Count Chocula's venom. FML #3.

And then the worst FML of them all...

It's so weird what disappoints me sometimes. I mean, really. Most people, if they found out that a ghost story wasn't real, would be relieved. (And usually, I am.) But the whole thing I wrote yesterday? Forget it. The so-called "legend" was revealed to be a fabricated story over a year ago. I should've researched that, instead of relying on my friend for all the answers. I'm considering taking yesterday's post down. Don't want to, though.

I hate this. I don't hate the guy who did it (no, really, I don't--though I do have a bit of an ax to grind with him, as you can clearly tell). I just hate this whole "documented horror" bullshit and the marketing campaign that inevitably comes with it. (Think Blair Witch Project, for example.) I love the idea of creating your own legend, but is it so much to ask that you bloody well SAY it's fiction at the start, instead of winding someone up and letting them think that it's something it's not? Honestly, if I'd known from the start that the whole haunted cartridge thing was just a story, I probably would've enjoyed it more.

Let me just say, I KNOW that when I wrote the post I was all, "but I knew it wasn't real" and "this is what I think REALLY happened." But that was my speculation, and there was still the tiny chance that it was real--and that was what made it so special to me. It was a modern-day ghost story, and it was done so well. Had I known it was fiction, I would've fallen in love with the author on the spot and put it in my bank of maybe-I'll-ask-if-I-can-make-this-film-someday stories.

But no. Instead I couldn't sleep after reading it. But it was the good kind of insomnia, and it meant that I could write. I had files on my computer with character sketches for "Max" and his made-up ghost, photos of potential locations, and ideas for casting. (I work fast when it comes to films.) Now I feel guilty, as if I'd stolen someone else's plot (because, basically, I did). And I'm so incredibly disappointed. All that emotion and excitement and false innovation, over a story that everyone but me already knew was fake.

Is it silly that I want to cry right now?

The hell with it. I need to worry about my finals.

Mind Fornication...so good for writing

So I don’t know how many of you have heard the story of the kid who got haunted by the secondhand Legend of Zelda video game (and unfortunately I didn’t get the link to the blog from the friend who told me about this), but yeah...that happened, apparently. Basically, this guy bought a video game at a garage sale and it went all Paranormal Activity on him. Now, this story would be creepy as all hell if not for one thing: as a screenwriter you learn to look for holes in plots, and trust me, this guy’s blog is full of them. (Unless, as he claims, the “ghost” is changing bits of it to discredit him...but c’mon, guys, I think I know a teenage guy’s writing when I see it; more likely, he just forgot to stay consistent.) And I don’t know jack about video games (clearly), but according to most video game diehards, the footage of his “haunted” game, which he uploaded to YouTube, looks faker than Aly Michalka’s eyelashes.

So, to me, that leaves two possibilities. 1) This guy is a douche who enjoys scaring and/or confusing people, or 2) This guy actually thinks the game was haunting him, but is delusional in some way or suffers from some sort of mental problem. Preferring to believe the good in people (and having seen waaaay too many episodes of Criminal Minds) I leaned towards the second option.

And I’ll tell you right now, that was just all kinds of inspiring.

I couldn’t sleep last night until I’d written out the plot of that movie. I mean, can you imagine how powerful that would be: a creepy video game that tries to kill you…only to discover that it wasn’t real? It’s like Shattered Glass meets The Strangers, with a bit of Paranormal Activity thrown in for good measure. How could I not write that out?

[Update: Treatment removed for revision (and because I found out some things about the "legend" that I didn't know before)]

And now...because I know you all missed it...

STOLEN DIALOGUE

Person one: Are you bored out of your skull?

Person two: I have no skull LEFT at this point. I am skull-less.

(about Breaking Dawn)

“Is he lying? No? Is the author that delusional?”

Person one: Is anything ever going to HAPPEN in this movie?

Person two: It takes awhile to get going.

Person one: That would be a MASSIVE understatement.

“My opinion of Breaking Dawn pretty much matched Charlie’s opinion of Edward: if I had a gun, I would've just shot it.”

“Who Framed Roger Rabbit is like the Citizen Kane of the 1980’s—nobody understands the plot, but they all call it groundbreaking.”

“Well hey, I guess if I just keep listening to washing machines, I’ll have the swaggiest swagger on the whole…McSwagger!”

“I think I just got called by your phone.”

Me: So did you report the guy [who accused you of cheating when it was the other way around]?

Classmate: I mean, no, but dude, like dude, I mean, it was like, whatever, bro. I’m not an idiot.

[Me, thinking: Well, you’re doing a pretty great impression of it…]

[Note: No, I did not say this. I thought it. But I didn’t say it.]

Person one: Why did you hit me?

Person two: My breasts don’t need that much attention.

“Using soundtrack to enhance film: you're doing it wrong.”

“You know what? Sometimes I just want to be a total geek and say, ‘Holy hand grenade, Batman!’”

“Okay…now this is where the REAL mindfuck begins.”

“Justin Beiber is a war crime.”

“It was like the Westminster Chainsaw Massacre.”

“I liked to watch Power Rangers when I was like five or six…and let me just say, I like getting it done.”

“I guess this is what happens when you give a Care Bear a script about safe sex.”

“I swear, you’re just like me: Walk first, look where you’re going second.”