Isn't this a great way to start out a blog post?
Yeah. It should go without saying that the main reason I was tearing up was not because Tiny Tim "died" in the future storyline (spoiler alert...HE LIVES), but because instead of the film cast, I was imagining the Interlochen musical cast, complete with my senior buddies. And then I realized, you know what, I haven't actually talked to these people in forever...for a reason.
You see, when I reach out to Inty graduates of last year, nine times out of ten they either don't respond, they're "too busy" or they sign off just as I IM to say hi. And, hey, I love you guys, but...that really kind of ticks me off.
Last summer when I got home--literally hours after watching my friends graduate--I sat down on the couch and started crying. Not the second I got home, of course...this was after struggling to get every bit of luggage in the house, then engaging in a nowhere battle with my computer and iPod, and burning dinner TWICE...and then, before that, I'd been in a car for four hours...in a confined space...with my parents and a ton of boxes...
Really, is it any wonder that I started crying at ten PM that night?
Here's the thing, though--when I started crying, my parents' response was to reach out, try to comfort me, tell me it was okay. That's just it though--it WASN'T okay. Because I wasn't crying over a stressful day. I was crying because I knew there was a tiny chance (if any) that I would ever see those seniors again. And for the first time I didn't want a hug from my dad. (Sorry, Dad.) I wanted a hug from Zac, or Andrew, or Jesse, or Seneca. I wanted one of THEM to tell me it would be okay.
But it's not okay, because I never talk to 90% of the people I was crying for that night.
How in the hell does this happen? You have friends. You love these friends. You'd do anything for these friends. You take risks on these friends. And then when you're separated from them, they seem to take that as, "Ok, it was fun while it lasted, but feel free to just evaporate from my life now, nice knowing ya!"
NO.
NOT FAIR.
I don't care how petulant I sound right now. I WANT MY FRIENDS BACK.
I want to scream at some of these people, "HEY! Who was the only person who gave you a lead role in a thesis film last year? Who took a major risk on you? Who came to every one of your shows and waited for half an hour afterwards to tell you 'Good job' even when you were just an extra? And yet who do you ignore every time they try to facebook chat with you?" Or, "Okay, so you get me through the school year, you hug me whenever you see me, you make life in my major livable...and...uh...where are you?" Or, my personal favorite, "Whatever happened to 'I won't forget about you?'"
I should be used to this. I really should. After all, this happened to me once already, except it was a would-be boyfriend instead of a would-be friend, and it was in summer camp, not school. I lost a lot of friends switching schools, simply because they just faded into the background. And now here I am, with people I THINK will be my friends for a long time...but I'm scared, I really am scared, that once we get our diplomas it will, once again, be "Nice knowing you, see you in the afterlife!" and then I'll have to watch them walk away from me.
Considering all that, it's a damn miracle that it took A Christmas Carol to make me cry about this.
No stolen dialogue, because I really don't feel like being funny tonight.
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