Poetry:
“Four A.M. on October 30”
Don’t know why I’ve made
The choices that have led me here
I’m within inches of giving up
I don’t want to give in to fear
I can’t be who they want
Sometimes I wonder why I try
I hate being stuck like this
When the only way out is to lie
I’m afraid I’ve messed up again
And I just want to hear her say
“It’s okay, sweetheart, Mommy’s here
Mommy’s going to save the day”
Haven’t slept at all tonight
I’ve been dreading what’s to come
Knowing that I’m messing up
Wanting comfort and finding none
Just another hopeless burnout
When I thought that I could shine
It doesn’t matter who I am
It’s what I do, that’s how I’m defined
"Learn to Heal"
I’ve had it with their games
And I’ve had it with them all
They’ll never understand
And I can’t make them understand
Who do you think you are
Making like I’m beneath you
Acting like I don’t matter
When I’m the one who will shine forever
And you will burn out, you will fade
Because I have what you don’t
I want this more than you will ever know
It is me, it is every cell of my body
With every breath I want it more
And you want what it offers
But you don’t want it
You will never want it the way I do
I’ll have things you can’t imagine
I love life with all I’ve got
You skim the surface, you play it safe
A fake risk-taker, that’s you—
You hold your cards tight
Play them close to your chest
You will never know the agony and the ecstasy
You don’t understand how or why
The world moves when you’re happy
Or slows when you’re sad
You don’t understand this, and you never will
And I’m here, I’m alive, like you can't be
Because I know that agony leads to ecstasy
I know that we bleed so that we can learn to heal.
"Red Lipstick"
I only recently started wearing red lipstick.
(The time I went as the Joker for Halloween doesn’t count.)
At first I didn’t notice anything different
until I kissed my friend on the cheek
and left a bright red lip print where I kissed her.
We thought it was so funny.
In return, she left her lipstick mark on my cheek,
and after that it became a joke
among our friends to leave “lip prints” on each other’s faces.
And that was all well and good until
I realized that there was one friend—
if you can even call it that—
who would never get a lipstick kiss from me, and that’s you.
I watched you all day in class today and
I thought it would be so much fun
to kiss you on the cheek and leave my mark.
But I didn’t, because that would just be silly.
Because then everyone would know,
and the magic would just disappear.
There’s something so magical about loving
someone who thinks you’ve got a screw loose.
Someone mysterious, someone weird.
Someone who can understand that not everything
in this world needs to have a point.
Did you know I kissed her? Did you?
Do you know I love you even though I never
see you because we’re so far apart
in more ways than one? Did you know
that I loved you the minute I looked at you?
Do you know just how badly I want to mark
your pale skin with my bright red lipstick?
Song lyrics:
"Awkward Breakup Song"
August was perfect, we were best friends
September the whirlwind brought in the rift
October I lost you to colleges and tests
November sweet seventeen we started to drift
And forgetting can be so painful
But remembering is that much worse
Used to think life couldn't be harder
Used to think that I was cursed
Nothing hurts like losing first love
And I think you needed to hear when I said
"I'm yours forever, don't leave me now"
Or if you knew I might just be your friend
If Sunday morning finds me in a white church
Saturday finds me partying all night
And if Monday I cry one last time for you
Tuesday will work out everything all right
Chorus:
Emotional words and intricate moments
I wish they didn't all think I was a loner
But catch me years later and you will find
All I really needed was a bit of time
The campus turned white and I lost my way
Winter lasts too long in North Michigan
It took so much time for me to turn around
But now Spring is coming, when new lives begin
And if I am foolish and can't fall out of love
I'll tear up your letters and burn the shreds
Dance until morning like no one's watching
Run straight into the arms of my new best friends
Find a party on campus, music up so loud
It can block out every memory of me and you
Scream so loud but no one has to hear me
And listen to rain falling I laugh far too soon
And I lose myself in them when I am there
I forget your touch right then that's okay
But when it comes to morning I'll cry again
When it's nighttime once more I will pray
Chorus
Met someone in Alliance with pretty pink hair
When somebody told me you'd never be there
And forgetting in time that you couldn't hear
I found myself screaming for all the wasted tears
And if I cling to you you in my sleep
Dreaming of those things you said to me
Remembering moments and whispered words
I'll forget they don't need to be heard
And I forget about you
You and your
Chorus
"Afraid of You"
You ask me what I’d do
I say I’d die for you
You say I am frightened
But you know it’s not the truth
You ask me what I’d say
I say I know it’s okay
You say I am too young
But you’ve come here anyway
Tell me what you need from me
You see I’m not afraid to bleed
Put my heart into your hands
Hope one day you’ll understand
That I am not afraid of you
I am not afraid of you
I am not afraid of you
I’m afraid of losing you
Chorus:
Take me into the twilight
Teach me to be like you
Take me into the moonlight
Take me straight on through
And when we find the morning star
Take me hold me in your arms
When midday comes with sky so blue
Tell me you know I am not afraid of you
You ask me if I would lie
I say I would never try
You say I am naïve
But you know I won’t cry
You ask if I understand
I say I know that I can
You say I am not in love
But you know it’s in God’s plan
Tell me that you know it’s real
You see it’s my heart you will steal
Wishing, praying, clasping my hands
Hoping someday you will understand
And I am not afraid of you
I am not afraid of you
I am not afraid of you
I’m afraid of losing you
Chorus
They say that you’ll hurt me
I say you’d never try
They say you’ll abandon me
I say, they think that why?
You say that you’re a danger
But I think it’s the other way around
They are trying to hurt you
They’ll never bring you down!
Tell me what you need from me
You see I’m not afraid to bleed
Put my heart into your hands
Now I know you understand
Chorus
"Deep Inside You"
[Note: If you can follow the changing "points of view" in this song and accurately guess its meaning, you will have my undying respect.]
Poor innocent thing, don't look for the truth
Hide inside yourself, pretend you know your life
Don't think twice when you say "I love you"
It's okay that you don't want to say good-bye
He'll look at her and say she's the one
You can laugh it off as you take your girl home
Now your friends say you're so damn lucky
But you know you might as well be all alone
And she knows every time she says, “kiss me”
A little part of you dies
She knows your heart's breaking
Baby you are living a lie
Chorus 1:
She doesn't like it when you scream that name
She can't take it she knows it's not her game
You tell her you don't need to know the truth
She knows the secrets you're holding deep inside you
Tell her the truth it's not like that, you see
He wants her like she wants a bullet in the head
He never hated her but she's not what he needs
But it's not like that, he can live like this instead
He wants to be in your arms late at night yeah
You can't know it's hard to be in this state
You're waiting too long, take him right now
That girl's not naive she knows that it's too late
And she knows every time she says, “kiss me”
A little part of him dies
She knows his heart's breaking
He is living a lie
Chorus 2:
She doesn't like it when he screams your name
She can't take it she knows it's not her game
He'll tell her she don't need to know the truth
She knows the secrets you're holding deep inside you
You see him come to you late at night yeah
And you're in a situation that you both hate
You see them together you know you're not his
You're not naive you know that it's too late
And you know every time you say "kiss me"
A little part of him dies
You know his heart's breaking just like yours
You are both living a lie
Chorus 3:
You don't like it when he screams that name
You can't take it you know it's not your game
He'll tell you that you don't need to know the truth
You know the secrets you all hold deep inside you
No comments:
Post a Comment