Look How Far We've Come...

Last summer, before entering my senior year, I wrote a post about how I felt before and after high school...without actually having left high school. Good going, Beatnik Belle. So I realized when I sat down to write this post that I had already said much of what I wanted to say, about how I've changed and how I've seen things changing around me. So what the hell am I supposed to write about?

I remember back at the beginning of the school year, how excited I was to be a senior until I realized that roughly 70% of my friends had scattered off to college. As I told my friend Miles, an underclassman, "The first week you come back, you'll miss everyone and you won't want to talk to any of the newbies; you'll just cling to the people you know. The second week, you'll start to make new friends and start to forget the graduates, and by the third week you'll have a whole new crew of people who you love as much as, if not more than, the people who left." That's so true--but now I'm worried that my underclassman friends will forget me, just like I was worried that my graduating friends would forget me last year. (For the record, they didn't. Not the truly amazing ones, anyway--you know who you are. <3)

Interlochen underclassmen, if any of you read this, here is something that you need to know, right now, depressing as it is: You will not retain every single friend you make at this school. Out of everyone you meet here, there will perhaps be a few people--a few really amazing people--who you will be friends with after you graduate or after they graduate. But here's the good news: After awhile, you won't miss them as much, because the people you really love will be the ones who stick with you, and who you will want to stick with. (Yes, I KNOW that sentence was not grammatically correct. Give me a break, I'm trying to pack, burn DVDs, write letters, and blog all at the same time here.)

There are people at this school who I love, there are people who I like, people who I dislike, people who I couldn't live without, and people who I wish would fall into the nearest active volcano. I will remember them all--but who knows how many will actually stay in contact? Only time will tell...but I've got a feeling I know who I will never let go.

And the amazing thing is...I graduated yesterday. I actually graduated high school yesterday. Wow. Isn't this where I'm supposed to freak out about college and growing up and leaving home and getting a job? Because that hasn't happened yet...

I expected that I'd spend the entire day crying my eyes out. Didn't happen. I teared up a bit during the ceremony--one of the advantages of being at the back of the alphabet is that you get to watch all your friends get their diplomas first--but other than that my eyes stayed dry. For the most part, I was just freaking happy. I don't think I stopped smiling the entire day, even when I got teary-eyed during the commencement ceremony...I was just like, "Holy crap, I actually did it!" the entire day. I took about a thousand pictures. Didn't get a picture with everyone, unfortunately, but most of the friends I didn't get pictures with I already have pictures of (just pretend that sentence made sense, ok?), so that's not a tragedy. The important thing is, I have pictures of my best friends (you know who you are, and if you don't, you'll figure it out really fast...), so I'm good.

I spent the last night before graduation pretty much freaking the f-word out. I didn't get recognized in any way during Honors Convocation, so I wasn't too happy about that, and I freaked out over that, but recovered pretty quickly and went to the reception--for all of about five minutes--with Isaac and Morgan. My entire family had come up to see Festival, but they left after Convocation so I could spend one more night with my friends. There was a dance, which we ended up not going to; instead we shot the last scene of What's Left of You (thank you, Alex and Annie!) and then spent the half-hour or so before sign-in writing "Vive la résistance!" in rocks on the Osterlin mall...which was pretty epic...and then I went and cleaned the lobby in DeRoy. Fun.

Graduation day, I woke up at too-freakin'-early 0'clock to shower, do my hair, pack, and get everything ready before lining up in the concourse at 9:05 (of course I was late), so we could process at 9:30. It didn't feel like I was graduating; it felt like a dress rehearsal. It was only when my aunt popped out and started taking rolls of pictures that I realized, "Holy crap, this is real!"

I had Pomp and Circumstance stuck in my head for the remainder of the day, but other than that, graduation was epic. Like I said, I took about a few thousand photos, then I went and had lunch with my family (no more Stone food = HELL YEAH). After that it was off to my room to finish packing, with the assistance of my aunt, cousin, and parents (sorry guys), and THEN it was time to go home.

I posted on FaceBook today, "'Isn't it so weird to be home?' Well, no, it's not being home that's weird, it's knowing that I'm not going back to Interlochen when I leave." And that pretty much sums it up. This fall I'm going to McDaniel, and who knows what'll happen there?

There are some truly incredible people who I have to thank right now, for the amazing experiences I have had this year and for their help in making my last year of high school my best, and there are some senior year stories that I'd like to share with you. This is going to be another extremely personal (and probably waaay too long) blog post...so please bear with me, I promise the next one will be more fun, upbeat, and contain more stolen dialogue and Ben Busch quotes.

First off...my amazing parents. Mom and Dad...Wow. Wow, wow, wow. You did it. You let me go, you let me grow up. I know it's been hard on you guys for the last couple of years, with me getting progressively closer to adulthood, but you have held up so well. You were there with me every step of the way, helping with college apps and SAT prep, showing me new ways to get where I needed to go, and providing much-needed kicks in the butt every now and then. I love you so much and can't wait to spend the summer with you. Thank you, a million times, for everything you have done for me, both for these last two years and my entire life. <3

My best friend, Isaac...Yes, I know I say this way too much, but I honestly don't know how I would have made it through the year without you. Whether it was physics homework, unnecessary drama, Dead Poet stunts or a film shoot, you were right there every time I needed you. Thank you so much for being there for me all year, you have no idea how grateful I am for your friendship.

Travis...Oh my God. Oh my freaking God, where would I be without you? To say that you kicked ass this year would be an understatement of breathtaking proportions. You made my senior thesis brilliant and gave me a long-overdue wake-up call. You gave me a chance that I would not have had otherwise. Most importantly you were my friend, you were not just a collaborator who disappeared as soon as the shoot was over. Thank you so much for your time and your friendship, you made my senior year ten times better than it would have been.

Elizabeth...Holy crud muffins, it can't be the end of our amazing reign as Hottest Roommates already! I have never had a roommate like you before. No one has ever challenged me, confronted me, made me think as much as you have. With someone as blunt--but well-meaning and kind--as you as my roommate, I couldn't wallow--thank you for not enabling me. You have made me a stronger person, I have learned so much from you, and I will miss you like crazy next year. Thank you for being a great roommate and, more importantly, a great friend. <3

Mishka and Gustavo...Holy crud muffins, I love you both more than you can imagine. I was so afraid that I wouldn't see you back here for senior year--I have never been so happy to be wrong in all my life. You were the first true friends I made at IAA and I will never forget meeting you at that bonfire (talking about playwriting with Gus and stupid American boys with Mishka). I love our craziness and our adventures, but more importantly I love how close we are, how we can be insane with each other and not worry about image. Thank you for teaching me how to embrace my inner starving artist. VIVE LA RESISTANCE! <3

Morgan...You came just in the nick of time. Second-semester Physics would have trampled me had you not been there to remind me to lighten the f#$% up. Our inside joke list just keeps growing ("It takes less energy to jump over a two-meter hurdle...") and I want to keep it that way. Thank you for showing up when you did, for being an amazing friend, and for being the brilliant, hilarious person that you are. And when your hardest classes get you down next year, just remember...FMGWAC! ;)

Jamie...Yeah, it's me again. You keep saying you didn't do much--you don't know how untrue that is. You gave me a chance this year even after seeing me screw up last year. You saved my ass multiple times on both my junior and senior thesis shoots. You have no idea how much I look up to you. I have so much respect for you as both an MPA and a person. Thank you for all of your help this year, and keep up the amazingness at Arts Center and wherever you go from there.

Emily H-C...I didn't know you last year, and it turns out that I was really missing out. If there is a person who embodies "Vive la resistance," it's you. You are an individual. You are your own person and have no time for anyone who doesn't appreciate that. I will miss your wit, your perspective, and your bow ties. Thank you for letting me be one of your many partners-in-crime this year...and please, for the love of all that's holy, keep up that resistance!

Thomas...Wow. Holy crud muffins, OMG, Jesus H. Christ, all those other lovely things I say when I can't believe something's happening...and this time I can't believe how incredibly close we became in such a short period of time. Every single moment was epic--from Halloween to Holiday Dinner to MORP, from our college app nights to random dinner conversations to those nighttime walks with the Death Trap. Have fun in college, my spirit twin, I will miss you. <3

Miles...You are definitely my favorite caucasian MPA freshman day student. You were a brilliant art director and more importantly a brilliant friend. You listened to my tearful rants and were amazingly patient with both my crazy family and my incessant need for picture-taking (how many photos of you do I have now, exactly?), you knew what to say and when to say it and when to just shut up and let me whine. Thank you for being there when I needed you, and for helping to make my senior thesis beautiful.

Sheridan, Erin, Siddhartha, Harry, and Rowen...The most incredible cast I could have asked for. I loved working with you all so much and I'm so happy that we "clicked" the way we did. It was a weird, random cast (four theater majors and an MPA? whoa...) but we made it work, and I am so glad we did. Thank you so much, all of you, for doing such an amazing job and making my movie memorable.

Dani, Rachel, and Preston...Thank you for the music, the weirdness, the inside jokes, the randomness, the epicness, the smiles/laughs/awkward nervous giggles, and the overall awesomeness. I feel so lucky to have known and worked with you, thank you so much for sharing your talents and giving my film the "kick" it needed from your music.

Danny Daneau and Andy Hiss, my editing/directing teachers...There were so many times I felt like giving up this year. No, I was beyond giving up. I was at the just-throw-this-f**ker-in-the-trash phase with my thesis at multiple stages--you wouldn't let me do it. You said, "No, you're going to finish this film, and it is going to be amazing." From the first time I brought in my idea to the first screening, you were right there behind me, giving me that "What do you think you're doing?" look when I turned around, ready to give up. Thank you for not letting me stop until I succeeded.

Aaron...MPA Trifecta, indeed. When I tagged along you were always there to let me in. When I needed a production designer you were the first--and only--volunteer. When I screwed up, got kicked out of a production, needed a shoulder to cry on, needed a job to do, wanted out, wanted to leave the department, you were there with a hug and some distracting wordplay. Thank you for being my friend, colleague, and classmate...and for just being an amazing person.

Alex and Annie...I needed actors and you jumped at the chance. What's Left of You was an underground production with no budget, no backing, no assistance of any kind; any other actor would have given me a "What are you, on crack?" look, but not you two. You said, "When can we start?" Right up until the very last night of school--we shot the night before we graduated, for Pete's sake!--you were there, you were ready. Thank you so much for being part of my production, I literally could not have done it without you.

Mary-Carole...You are definitely much more than a study-party mate. Video games, fanfiction, watercolors, ranting, food service stalling, randomness, dance workout mocking...there was never a dull moment when we were hanging out. This year would have been incredibly boring without our chill-out sessions in DeRoy. Thanks for spicing up my year, I'm going to miss our dorm parties. Have fun next year starting your own resistance! :)

Krista T., my fellow Michigander...Every dance with you was my favorite, from the 90s dance to MORP. I have to say, you voice majors certainly know how to party ;) I'm incredibly lucky to have a friend like you, someone who knows how to have fun, someone who is up for anything (someone who didn't rat certain resistance members for their random activities...). You made my senior year special. I will miss you so much next year. YOU BETTER COME OVER THIS SUMMER, MISSY. <3

Finally, every single one of my friends from this year and last year--Leyla F., Keaton M., Connor E., Ethan C., Jeff K., Sarah B. and Anne C. (my suitemates!!), Josh A., Seneca S., Tressa G., Mick S., Theo E., Sam K., Michael M., Jess N., Danny R., Kylie C., Hannah F., Ruth and Rachel, Emily D., Sarah P., Mike H., Heidi and Camille, Wisty A., Ellie G., Mida C., Marco Z., Gus P., Johnny S., Ariel F., Lena J., Kelly C., Niki A., Colin C., Bonnie B., Annie G., Nic W., Geoffrey W., Pippa A., Rigo E., Nicole A., Zac C., Andrew W., and Julia H.; and anyone else who I may have (unintentionally) forgotten. I love you all and I will miss you so much, thank you for making my Interlochen experience incredible and memorable.

I've been home now for over 24 hours. I have cuddled with my parents (yes, I KNOW I'm technically too old to do that, but screw it, I might be a legal adult but I'm still their kid), gone grocery shopping, watched an amazing movie called Get Low (which everyone should see because it's brilliant), gone photo-crazy on FaceBook, gone through some McDaniel College stuff, gotten some mail, laughed hysterically over a friend's first-ever FaceBook status (because that's what you do when you love someone), edited some of my movie, done some laundry, and made another unsuccessful attempt to burn DVDs. (As always, it's Technology: 100, Beatnik Belle: 0. But it WILL happen. I swear, I WILL make those stupid DVDs work.)

And I've also made an executive decision concerning my blog, which includes good news and bad news.

The bad news: I will not start another blog now that I've graduated.

...

...

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The good news?

I'm continuing this one.

Why? Here's why: In plain English, I freaking love this blog. I'm not ready to sever my connection to Interlochen yet--flawed as it is, it's still one of the places I've come from and I don't care how many bumps I've run over along the way, I'm proud of that. And who knows, maybe in a few decades, I'll be sending my kids to Interlochen...who could tell? The point is, I'm not letting go of The Bubble just yet. I'm just not ready. And so, Alien Water Torture will continue.

Here's what this means, though--I'm going to get a bit more serious in terms of what I post. I'm going to start putting myself out here, because, hey, I've got people in freaking China following this blog, why not use that to my advantage. I can use this blog to promote the films I've made, the films and music my friends have made, the amazing artists I know (hence the Artist as Badass posts that ARE going to continue *crosses fingers*), and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

So hold on, AWT readers. We're going for a wild ride. I'm going to freaking college! I'm going into the world, and I'm taking you with me.

VIVE LA RÉSISTANCE!

Why, why, why, why, why?

I have gotten so many "whys" over the years about my love for film. Why would I do this? Why do I care so much about crew roles? Why don't I just give up and become an accountant or something "useful"? Why did I come to Interlochen? Why do I want to be in film? Why do I put up with so much BS from people and then complain about it later? Why do I want a career that forces me to put up with that BS?

Tonight answered all those questions and more. Tonight I found what I have been looking for all year.

I can't go into the details of why tonight was so incredible--not all of them, anyway. First of all, because I don't have the time; I want to do this before the internet shuts off at 12:00. Second, some of the reasons why tonight made the whole year perfect are too personal, yes, even for me, Miss Spill-Her-Guts-To-The-Internet-On-A-Weekly-Basis. But I can give the overview--and maybe this will answer some of those whys.

Tonight was the premiere screening for the MPA major. Translation: Tonight was the first time the public got to see our films. I will not sugarcoat it, ladies and gentlemen: I was scared out of my mind. Last year, my premiere was awful; I went back to my room and cried, not only because my film was universally misunderstood and people laughed at all the wrong parts, but because I had literally one other credit in the entire program. I was terrified that this year would be the same, that I would see my film and think of 2,000 things that I should have done differently.

I was wrong.

From the start, the audience was on my side. I had a brilliant cast and it showed. My crew went above and beyond, and that showed too. Everything, from the lighting to the acting to the props, was absolutely amazing. There is a reason that Possession failed--it sucked. It did not deserve to be praised, or, in my opinion, to be screened (at least not until it had been re-cut and the sound was decently mixed). But tonight I put out a film that I could be proud of, and I finally earned the respect from my fellow students that I have been craving all year. (This is where I want to go into more detail but can't. Suffice it to say that I have won over my toughest critic.)

And that was just my personal experience with my own film! But the others--the films made by people I have lived with, studied with, and worked with all year--blew me away. I cannot express how proud I am of the people in my major right now. There are people whom I have fought with on a weekly, sometimes daily, basis--right now, I love them as if they were my siblings. There are films that I thought would make me shoot myself if I had to see them rotate in workshop one more time--right now, I would happily watch them another thousand times.

This is one of the many things that I love about being a filmmaker, in this case a film student. You work at a film for weeks, months, sometimes years (but most of us at Interlochen haven't gotten there yet, thank God), until it makes you cringe, until you doubt every move you make concerning your film, until you honestly can't remember why you made this movie in the first place. You watch others' films in workshop until you're so sick of them that you want to slap whoever was stupid enough to think that was a good idea, or that was a good script, or that was a good cut. You hate your workshop and can't wait for it to be over.

And then on the night of the premier, you see them all over again. You go in there dreading the screening, for whatever reason. Maybe, like me, you're scared that your film won't go over well. Maybe you have something else that you could be doing, some friend that needs a shoulder to cry on, some assignment due the next day. Or maybe you're just plain sick of your classmates' films. Whatever it is, you just want to be anywhere but there...until the lights go down, and the films begin to screen, and the audience cheers, laughs, gasps, or cringes for the first time. And then, it's a whole other ballgame. You laugh with them. You cheer with them. You cry with them, gasp with them, cringe with them. You see the film through their eyes, and suddenly there is no place you'd rather be.

After the screening was over, the love-fest began. Hugging. Crying. Laughing. Proud friends, proud parents. Everyone loves us, everyone wants to tell us how much they love us. I had people I'd never met before coming up to me and telling me how great my film was. I saw people pointing, heard whispering. "Who made the film about the rockstar?" or "Which one is she?" But for most of this, I only had eyes for my friends, my classmates, the people who made my film possible.

There is a wonderful singer-songwriter by the name of Rachel G., who came to me after my film screened and told me that, by putting her song in my film, I made her dream come true. To which I responded that by allowing me to put her song in my film, she made my film a thousand times better than it could have been. She made my dream come true--my dream of making people happy with my art.

But there's more than that. Tonight I realized that I've been trying so hard all year to get respect from the people in my major, when I really had it all along. Maybe I didn't have as much as certain others. Maybe it didn't show the way I wanted it to. Maybe I still didn't get the jobs I wanted. But they did care, and had I been expelled or had I left for other reasons, they would have noticed.

All year I have cried, fought, wished, prayed, begged, demanded, cursed, and complained. All year I have done things that I am not proud of, things I wish I could take back, all because I wanted to be good, I wanted a taste of what some of my fellow MPAs were handed on a silver platter. And tonight I was given that taste, and I realized that I would go through these past nine months a thousand times, if it meant feeling like this, having this success.

Shout-outs--well-earned shout-outs--to everyone who made tonight possible, especially the following:

Mark U.

Mindy M.

Travis C.

Keaton M.

Elizabeth V.

Aaron T.

Miles C.

Jesse E-J

Tyler H.

Nicole A.

Jamie T-R

Theo E.

Kylie C.

Jeff K.

Connor E.

Connor B.

Jay F.

Mida C.

Colin C.

Bonnie B.

Pippa A.

Dani K.

Preston C.

Jarryd E.

Michael M.

Lesley T.

Andy H.

Danny D.

Isaac R.

Mary-Carole H.

Bill C.

Harry H.

Sarah B.

Anne C.

Sheridan S.

Erin J.

Siddhartha R.

Rowen K.

and EVERYONE who worked in the MPA productions tonight, this would never have happened without all of you.

I love you <3

We make the hipsters fall in love

HOLY CRAP...

...it has been TOO FREAKING LONG!

I have soooo much to tell you and not enough time...but I will try to say what I need to say before the internet shuts off.

First off, MORP. MORP MORP MORP MORP. It was FREAKING AMAZING.

In a nutshell: I have the best friends in the world. From the moment I got up that day, I was surrounded by amazing people. There was literally no point during May 1st that I looked at someone and thought, "Why do I have to deal with you, you're a jerk!" My date/MORP buddy/whatever you wanna call him was honestly the best person I could have chosen to spend my senior prom with (let's pretend that sentence was structured properly, shall we?). Isaac R., the soon-to-be Ivy League-attending, film-acting, play-writing, saxophone-playing, physics-whiz BADASS who has been one of the best friends I've ever had and gotten me through the year (a LOT...you seriously have no idea) was my MORP date and I will tell you, we had a blast. I'd never seen him dance before and dude, he's an EPIC dancer...in fact, I got to judge a dance-off between him and another good friend, Emily D...and he won, it was close thanks to her disco moves, but he did win...and then he kicked my ass at bowling, and then we kicked ass at pool and got our collective asses kicked at pool by Ariel F.--no joke, she beat us single-handed! WOW.

Ok, so you know by now (or at least you should) that my friends and I are weird, right? Well, what would you say if I told you we had our own code for playing pool? We did...and I can't translate our code words (it's our secret!) but I can give you a sampling of our insanity:

MACARONI STOP!

What even is that thing?!

But I'm from Michigan!

"But I don't know anything about International Relations!" "It's okay, my dear, nobody does!"

Greyhouse moment!

But I want to adopt it!/Can I adopt it?/Do I want to adopt it?/You want to adopt this one, yes you do!

It was, in a single word, amazing.

It gets even better...WE HAD A REAL DJ...we had a proper, hired DJ from Traverse City, instead of having an Interlochen kid do it...and he played ALL my jams..."Jesse's Girl," "Thriller," "D.A.N.C.E.," "Boom Boom Pow," "We R Who We R," and "Just Dance"...and it was awesome. It really was. This is why I like REAL DJs...because they play REAL music instead of just doing the same thing over and over.

Shout-outs to all who made MORP memorable:

*Isaac

*Krista T.

*Morgan

*Mishka

*Lydia M

*Julia H, MY WIFE :P

*Emily H-C

*Thomas

*Gustavo

*Emily D

*Aaron

*Danny R

*Jackie G

*Harry H the HIPSTER ;) jk, jk <3

And a huge, HUGE thank-you to Lisa M., our activities coordinator, for making MORP magical for all of us...YOU ROCK and I want to be just like you when I grow up! :)

But while we were all getting ready for MORP, a few things happened that I have to mention, because without them, my senior year would be incomplete.

I have not had an easy time in my department this year. That's no secret. I've had to fight hard to get even the tiniest roles--I've done continuity three times this year!--and by April I was honestly really sick of this. So sick of it, in fact, that I started behaving very immaturely and blaming pretty much everyone but myself for my problems. I whined. I cried--a LOT. I complained to anyone who would listen about how unfair my life was and how I would've been better off in Comparative Arts or Creative Writing.

And then a truly amazing person in my department came to me, looked me right in the eye, and said, "Grow up."

But he didn't say it in a mean way! Not at all. Quite the opposite, in fact: He spent the night before HIS junior thesis pep-talking ME. ?!? How's THAT for an incredible friend? I swear to you, until that night I did not know that there was anyone other than my parents who would be willing to get up with me at four in the morning just because I was upset. I think that was half the wake-up call--knowing that even though he had every reason not to, he was still willing to come and talk to me in the middle of the night.

And you know what? I screwed up. I admit it. I screwed up a lot this year--I don't know anyone who DIDN'T have their screwup moments this year, but it felt like I had about a billion of those--and yet he was still willing to give me another chance.

All year, I've been dying to do lighting. It got to the point where I went to an MPA who I didn't like, who I knew didn't like me, and begged them to let me grip for their thesis simply so I could touch lights--didn't matter if I designed them or not, just so long as I could do somethingwith them--and I was whining excessively about how I would do anything to light just ONE person's thesis. (As you might have guessed, that did not work out too well.)

And when my friend got up with me in the middle of the night, he told me that he'd give me one last chance. He assigned me the position of lighting grip--which is a hell of a lot closer to what I wanted to do than continuity or vanities, a.k.a. what I'd been doing pretty much the whole year--and that meant that I got to set up, tear down, and operate lights...

...and, of course, go up in the grid.

Holy crap. The Grid. It should be the title of a horror movie. I'm not kidding. I have a new respect for theater techies--if you have the guts to go up in the freaking ceiling, on a mesh floor, using a ladder so sketchy it's enough to make a skydiver afraid of heights...well, in my opinion you deserve a curtain call, at the very least.

To say that I was afraid to go up on this thing is an understatement of breathtaking proportions. On a scale from one to ten, my panic level was at "OhmyGodholyhellIcan'tdothisohmyGodgetmedownNOW!" before I'd taken two steps. As I bluntly told my film teacher after the fact, it's not that I don't like heights, it's that I don't like near-death experiences, which is what I was sure I was about to have (or having, depending on how you look at it--hmm, going up to the ceiling untethered? sounds pretty deadly to me). So when I actually got to the top and got into the grid...wow. Exhilarated doesn't even cover it. I was on top of the world (figuratively and literally).

So as long as I was up there, I was fine. It was when it was time to come down that I had a problem. I went right back up to "OhmyGodholyhellIcan'tdothisohmyGodgetmedownNOW!" and pretty much stayed there until I was on solid ground. But it was worth it. I will tell you this much, right now: It is absofreakinglutely worth being scared for a few minutes to go up in the grid.

But you know what? I don't think anything was as amazing as hearing the director--my friend--tell me, "You are doing an amazing job." That alone was worth the scary ladder and the scary grid. I hadn't actually gripped for someone in a long time, so it was a double shot of amazing: Doing something I loved and getting recognition for doing it.

And you want to know something else? THAT is why I came to this school, right there, in a nutshell. That's why I came here. I wanted to do what I loved and get credit for doing it. Isn't that why we all came here? (Sorry, I'm about to go on a rant here. I hope my soapbox doesn't crush anyone.) Because I've heard an awful lot of people complaining about Interlochen lately...

~cue new section of blog post~

Guys, come on. I will be the first to admit that there are things I don't like about this school. (Tip lines? REALLY? Holy crap...) But you know what, I think we need to stop, take a look, and put this in perspective.

First of all, did anyone come to Interlochen expecting that it was going to be perfect? I hope your answer to that is no, and if it's not, well, I'm sorry, but I think most of us knew going in that this was going to be tough. And believe me, I'm not going to pretend that I've loved every second of the past two years--I haven't. There have been parts that I've absolutely hated. There have been moments that I wish I could erase.

For anyone wondering, no, I haven't always gotten along with my suitemates or roommates. I didn't always take advantage of opportunities that Interlochen offered me. I didn't go to every dance or eat every meal at Stone or trust the laundry service with my favorite clothes. But those were petty things, little things that I could just kind of ignore. When I say there are moments I wish I could erase, I'm talking about bigger mistakes. I'm talking about the kind of moments when you just wish the floor would open up and swallow you.

Put yourself in the following situation and see what I mean:

You are sitting in a film workshop, presenting your first-ever thesis script. It gets torn apart time after time, until you finally give in and change the whole bloody thing. At the last minute you write a screenplay that you think will satisfy everyone, including yourself. You submit it to your thesis advisor and he turns it down flat, telling you that it is "worse than the first draft," despite a trusted friend's insistence that it is much better than your current shooting script. Your friend advises you to send it in to your department head. Afraid of what your thesis advisor will do--namely cancel your shoot--if you go behind his back or over his head, you chicken out and don't send the latest draft of the screenplay. Instead, you shoot the script that he likes and hate yourself for it later.

I don't care what anyone says or thinks. I will never, ever forgive myself for screwing up my junior thesis. The fact that now I have a better film doesn't matter. The fact that I will probably be able to re-shoot Alien Water Torture someday doesn't matter. The way I see it, I essentially wasted my junior year. My GPA dropped, my thesis film was a mess, and I lost most of my friends and had to start over senior year, replacing graduates and returners alike with newcomers.

In other words: Not exactly the magical Hogwarts of the Arts that I was hoping for.

And things didn't exactly perk up the way I'd hoped senior year. I was told that seniors had priority for theses and crew roles. Not true. Now, I was told that my attitude through the year had a big role in this, and you know what, that's probably true. I admit that right now: There are definitely things I could have done differently, better ways I could have handled myself, and I would make a fair few changes in myself if I could go back to the beginning of the year and do this over.

But you know what? That wasn't the only contributing factor. As I mentioned above, when I actually got on sets I kicked ass. I stayed positive when on-set, didn't whine or act petty to the people who had crew roles that I wanted while I was stuck doing continuity. It was getting on-set that was the problem--by the time I finally got onto a crew, there had been five shoots. And it's not like no one knew what I was trying to do. I told everyone in the department, newbies and returners alike, that I was willing to work. I made it known that I was available. And I still got absolutely nowhere.

For anyone who doesn't know, there's a rule in the MPA department that we are only allowed to do the same job twice per season. So, if I were to be the cinematographer for two people, I couldn't say yes when a third person asked me to be their cinematographer; they would have to find someone else. Last year I noticed that there were certain crew roles, like vanities and grip, that could get away with breaking this rule and no one really noticed. I figured that was okay. I didn't realize yet that people weren't just doing minor roles more than twice.

I know people who have done lighting four times and camera three times. I know one person who did audio four times this season--why? Is it really that much of an inconvenience to have someone who's not the best in the department do your film? Last year I had a great DP who dropped out at the last minute and replaced him with someone who had never DPed a film before. And my gaffer? Yeah, she'd never lit a film before, either. And say what you like aboutPossession, I'll be the first to admit that it sucks, but no one can say the cinematography and lighting weren't anything less than 100% solid. This year the same guy was supposed to be my DP, but he overbooked and couldn't do it. I replaced him again, this time with a first-year who I'd never worked with before, whose reel I'd never seen, and hey, guess what? My cinematography was flipping amazing!

So yes, I know there are people in my department who are already at a professional grade, and I respect them and love them and view some of them as close friends. I'm not saying that it doesn't take serious dedication and some major raw talent to do what they do. I'm not saying that I don't admire them for it, because I do. (Read the end of this post if you think I'm just saying this so I don't sound like a jealous bitch.) I look up to them like crazy and I hope that I can be as good in five years as they are right now.

All that being said, Interlochen is a school, not a major studio. I don't care how much talent one person has compared to another, it's not fair for a teacher to showcase the more-talented student and let them do all of the jobs that everyone is supposed to learn how to do. During one conversation with another student about how I wasn't getting enough crew roles and how I might change that, my friend said to me, "Well, you know, they're three-years. Of course people know that they can do things."

EXACTLY. They are THREE-YEAR SENIORS. Of COURSE they know what they're doing, they've had a chance to do it all before most of us got here! Which is why it's the TEACHER'S job to step in and say, "Hey, this kid has been the DP for about six thesis films since he's been here, and I have this other kid over here who's really good at cinematography but hasn't gotten to do one yet and it's their senior year--hmm, maybe I should let this other kid take a shot?" (Terrible pun not intended.)

Yes, in the end I did get my chance. But by then it was too late in the year to really do anything except say "Ha, ha, you didn't know I could do that, did you?" to the people who wouldn't let me on their sets before. And yes, Mom and Dad, I DID learn a lesson about myself and about what I can do differently when I go to college. But that's not the point. Point #1: It should not be my job to teach myself how to make films. That's what Interlochen is here for. It's not fair that the self-taught, raw-talented students are showcased, while others are shunted to the side.

But the bigger point, and the reason I started this rant in the first place, is this: If you have complaints about Interlochen--and we all do--do not waste them on things that you knew going in would be problems, such as the food or laundry or sign-in or overloads of homework. Use them for things that matter. I would have to say that being overlooked in your major is a pretty freaking big problem.

So, prospective students, listen to me now: DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU. Do not make the mistakes that I did. If your thesis advisor is holding you back, go to your department head and MAKE HIM LISTEN TO YOU. If people are throwing you off their sets or not letting you on in the first place, ask yourself why. If the problem is you--and be honest, because sometimes it is--change IMMEDIATELY. Don't wait until the end of your senior year to show everyone why you deserve to be on set. And if the problem is with your department, go to your department head--and if he doesn't listen (which mine unfortunately didn't), GO OVER HIS HEAD. Go to Nicole or JWes. Go to Mr. Farraday or Mr. Wade--THIS IS WHAT THEY ARE HERE TO DO. Get your parents involved--yes, I know it might be embarrassing, but let them get involved anyway. DO NOT LET YOURSELF GET PUSHED TO THE SIDE. Fight back. It's hard, and I learned this lesson in the worst way possible--so learn from my mistakes. FIGHT BACK LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.

On that note, I have to mention a very special teacher who made this year infinitely better than my junior year.

I know that everyone loves our artist-in-rez from last year. Fine, whatever. Maybe I was the only one he picked on. Maybe others faced the same treatment but don't want to say anything. Either way, he and I did not work well together, with the inevitable result that I learned very little from him. When I heard that we would have another artist-in-rez teaching editing this year, I was wary. What if he turned out to be like last year's artist-in-rez--nice at first, but after awhile things went sour?

Turns out, I didn't need to worry. It was (platonic, thankyouverymuch) love at first sight. This man taught me more in one session of thesis editing than Anthony taught me in an entire semester. This is Danny Daneau, an editing teacher, a filmmaker, and a mentor, who showed me that editing is in fact an art form, who showed me that post-production does not have to be painful, and that there is life after film school.

For the first few weeks I was still cautious, watching for any signs that my new teacher had a dark side. Any signs of power-tripping--any slip-up--any insistence that we were the ones who got the date wrong and not him--any unfair test questions--I jumped. But no one is perfect, and over time even the imperfections grew on me. Classes with this teacher are not sit-around sessions. We do things. We cut films. We critique each other's films. We use professional-grade materials and footage from professional-grade films. We are not just film students in this class--we are editors, and he treats us as such, instead of condescending and making us feel like grade-schoolers.

So far we've screened three of his films--his short Good Night Charlie, his college thesis The Attic Door (WHICH IS MOTHERFLUFFING BRILLIANT, BY THE WAY), and the film he edited, Fly Away. I absolutely love watching his work, just like I loved watching Anthony Penta's work--but the difference here is that I respect Danny Daneau not only as an artist, but as a person. Having Q&As after a screening is more like chatting with a friend than interviewing a teacher.

In an editing session with Danny, you do not feel intimidated or nervous. You do not worry about pleasing him or disappointing him. You just look at him and say, "Tell me what I need to do to make this better," and he tells you, and you do it. He does not hurt you by telling you that you're "too stubborn," that it doesn't matter what he tells you because "you won't listen to me anyway," or that "you just don't know how film works." He is honest--but he is honest about the good as well as the bad. It's impossible not to trust him, which makes it pretty damn hard to not learn from him.

I'm going to write him a more formal thank-you at the end of the year. (Writing train letters to teachers = SO FREAKING INTERLOCHEN it's not even funny.) But for now, I just want to let everyone know--I love, love, love having classes with Danny Daneau, and I feel so fortunate to be here, at this school, where I have access to people like him. Thank you Danny, and thank you Interlochen!

Now that the cheesiness is over...remember that Artist as Badass post I promised? Well...

Have you ever gone to an underground concert and fallen in love with one of the opening bands? Ever seen an indie short made by someone your age and thought, wow, I wonder if I could do that? Ever read a short story by a sixteen-year-old that was ten times better than certain published novels I could mention (but won't, for the sake of not beating that poor old dead horse)? Ever watched a friend do sketches and wondered why in the hell no one had snatched her up to design logos for some hi-tech company yet?

I have done all of the above...and that is why I've decided that from here on out, I'm going to take the time in each of my blog posts to highlight one of my awesomesauce (or awesome possum, as my screenwriting teacher says) fellow indie artists. I go to school with some of the most amazing young artists in the world, not to mention some of the most interesting human beings in the world...it's high time I stopped just giving "shout-outs" on this blog and actually started telling the world why I love them so much.

In this post I'm showcasing the amazing filmmaker Aaron Tyson. Let me tell you, if there were an MPA award for all-around proficiency, this kid would win it, hands-down. Some people are born to be wild, some people are born to be artists, some people are born to be unprofessional...well, Aaron Tyson was born to be a kickass indie filmmaker. I have seen more short films and trailers on his YouTube channels (yes, you read that right, CHANNELS, as in, plural) than I could make in ten years, and he seems to crank them out by the day.

What I love most about Aaron is that he doesn't give a damn if anyone else thinks it's "good" or not, and as a result most of his films turn out so well that you don't care either. It's only afterwards that you realize, "Wait a minute, there was no plot," or, "Wait a minute, that was Jeff?!" All Aaron needs is a camera and a few friends, and BOOM, out comes a short film. It also doesn't hurt that he's an amazing editor--he can take a random clip of a party in his dorm room and turn it into an angst-filled mock-trailer for a movie that you're dying to see...only you can't, because it doesn't actually exist.

However, the talent for making real trailers is as great as making mock-trailers...as these so nicely point out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wz_w7JsC2eE&feature=channel_video_title

http://www.youtube.com/user/Sachte2#p/u/34/OVbBtny0e1w

The first trailer is for Nippeldiebstahl, the film that turned into a miniseries, and trust me, it doesn't make any more sense after you see the full movie. But here's the thing...IT DOESN'T MATTER! Remember what I said about why I love Aaron's films? Here's the practical example. When I saw that film, I wasn't thinking, "Uh, where's the plot?" I was thinking 1) "What's going to happen?" and 2) "Why the hell is Keaton wearing that wig?" (Well, okay, maybe I only thought that once, but still.)

The second is for Sachte, his junior thesis film, which I was fortunate enough to crew for (remember the fifteen friends and a crowbar post?) and I honestly can't make head or tail of this film...but I still love it. I don't care how many times you watch this thing, you will never be able to interpret it the way it was intended (and I would know, I'm friends with the writer AND the director), but it doesn't freaking matter! Part of the beauty of Sachte is coming up with your own interpretations. Or, if you're like me, you just chill out and think, Who cares? and enjoy the movie for what it is: A stunning display of editing, music, casting, visual effects, and choreography.

When you watch an Aaron Tyson film, you enjoy it. Period. And then maybe afterward, you realize that the only reason you did was for the graphics or the casting or the music...or maybe it was because the enjoyment from making the film seems to pour out of the screen and into the audience. When someone truly loves their craft, you can sense it, and it's almost impossible to not go along for the ride.

In place of stolen dialogue (yes, I KNOW you missed it, I missed it too, but this is more important), I'm going to close out this post with an interview with Aaron Tyson, the first-ever recipient of the Beatnik Belle Artist as Badass Award (yes, more WILL win this useless but fun award, and they WILL be featured on this blog and the "sequel blog" when I go off to McDaniel).

AWT: How long have you been making movies?

Aaron Tyson: I started when I was about seven years of age. My first camera was a large VCR camcorder nearly twice my size. Filmmaking was a hobby back then, something for my friends and I to do on weekends, so elements of story were rushed and mostly absent, similar to Nippeldiebstahl

What filmmakers inspire you? Why?

Alfred Hitchcock, for his ability to create suspense, and tell compelling stories with simple yet effective techniques. Robert Elswitt, for being the best DP ever. His ability to tell a story in one sweeping shot has always fascinated me. Walter Murch for his focus on sound design and his ability to make every cut count.

Your films are known for having a chaotic, edgy look with a heavy dark (Sachte) or comedic (The Jeff Who Wasn't There) tone. Where do your ideas come from?

This came from limited resources. When I started making films, I had no lights or trained camera operators. The limited lighting, and use of haze/fog to provide arial diffusion was necessary.

Nippeldiebstahl, your latest film/miniseries, has a few fresh faces (most notably Keaton Manning), and was made simply because you and your crew were "bored." Can you elaborate a bit on the story behind Nippeldiebstahl? How did you come up with the concept? What made you decide to release it as a series, instead of a stand-alone?

Alex Szemetylo (Corey) needed to shoot a music video for a Math extra credit assignment. Austin Holm (The Bear) was bored and wanted to shoot a country music video starring Keaton Manning (Edmund) and Harry Hunter (Crizzald). Neither of them can sing or play any instruments well. I posed the idea of a scary short. horror films are fun, and due to my experience, easy to make with limited time. They all agreed this idea was suitable, yet had no idea of story. So we made it up as we went long. Eventually Jeff Kasanoff (Jack) became the show runner and has written the next six episodes premiering soon.

Sachte has officially become an Interlochen Legend. What's the story behind that film? How did you come up with your marketing campaign? There have been rumors of a sequel - is this going to happen? If so, when?

I would love to make a Sachte II. The t-shirts already have been made to market the potential part two. If this ever happens, it will be a remake more so than a continuation. The film was originally the story of Boy and Girl, two lovable teens, who mistakenly stumble upon a trail in the forest. the trail leads them to a house. The house's foyer is filled with candy and other sweet foods. This lures them into the next room of the house, inhabited by dolls and toys, which come to life and dance with the two protagonists. the dancers are warm loving children, who a revealed to be ragged, ghostly minions to the witch who runs the house.

The marketing campaign came very naturally to me. I figured YouTube and Facebook were perfect place to promote the film at a high school: targeting the artsy teen demographic.

Do you have any advice for prospective MPAs?

Don't be discouraged by the difficulties you will experience here at the academy. Make sure your priorities are in order, though a 10 hour school day feels long there is a lot of time to produce projects independently and perfect your in class thesis work.

Is there anything you would like the readers of AWT to know that I haven't asked you? Any shout-outs to friends or colleagues?

Vote Szemetylo+Overton!!!

Sorry about the lateness of this post! Won't happen again, I swear! ;)