The friends are the cast and crew of Aaron T.'s epic thesis shoot, and the crowbar(s) are the epic faculty of the MPA department. And today, we did jack all right. We finished shooting Aaron's film today!
Now, this was the first time I've had an actual, official job on a thesis set. I was gripping, which for anyone who doesn't know means that I was essentially the gopher--as in, go-for; extension cables, lights, sandbags, and in one instance actors. I hauled around equipment, carried stuff to and from the mule (a.k.a. the equipment truck), helped set up lights, and most importantly (sarcasm hand raised) worked the fog machine.
For anyone who does not know, a fog machine is the devil's invention. A person thinks, "Oh, it's just haze. How bad can it be?" Oh, it's bad. It is very, very bad. It is enough to make a person cough, as several of us learned the hard way the past few days. It is enough to draw any oxygen out of the air and turn it into a faintly stinky gas that, trust me, no one really wants to breathe. And when you're using this invention in a huge room, it's bad enough. But when you use it in a tiny enclosed space--as we were doing today--it makes you want to scream...but you can't, because the scream will inevitably turn into a hacking cough.
In fact, it got so bad that at one point, I decided there was nothing better to do than joke about it. We were shooting a scene in which Logan's character is trying to pull Lucy out of a window. Lucky Logan was allowed to stay outside, with the nice breeze and the sunshine, while the rest of us sweated and coughed in that hazy, stifling basement. So between takes, I stood under the window, held up both hands as if pleading to be rescued, and said, "Logan! Help! Save me from the haze!" And to my great delight, Logan actually found this amusing.
Later on, someone had to enter the Room of Doom (a.k.a. said hazy, stifling basement) and I opened the door (which was locked from the outside) and greeted the newcomer with, "Welcome to our Inferno!" and earned myself more laughs from the cast and crew. Success again!
I like to think my joking and attempts to stay positive contributed to the good atmosphere of this shoot. Then again, I also like to think that the ghost of Jack Kerouac haunts this campus, so maybe my opinion doesn't really count. ;)
To Aaron T., I just wanna say, good job, man. I know I've said it a million times already, but trust me, you deserve to hear it a million more. I liked working for you and I liked it double because I was working my favorite job. Dude. Next year, if you need a grip on ANY shoot (and I mean class projects too, not just the big Thesis Film), I am there. I mean it.
To the cast (who probably don't follow this blog, but whatevs), a shout out for pure epicness. Helene and Ian, you were amazingly creepy. I can't wait to see a cut of this film and be scared out of my wits by the two of you (yes, that IS in fact a compliment). Lucy and Logan...wow. Wow, wow, wow. You were thrown around, pushed down, slid across rooms and shoved out windows. And then after all that, you both said, "Okay, what next?" PERFECTION. I hope that I get to work with you in the future (a.k.a. next Academy season...).
To the rest of the crew--THUMBS UP. Little complaining, lots of hard work and dedication. I think this is why gripping is my favorite part of MPA--it enables you to see what really goes into making a film, to observe the DP, AD, AC, Gaffer, Audio, and Continuity and realize that whether they're running around like headless chickens (which is, trust me, what Kylie [gaffer], Charlotte [audio], and I were doing today) or not, they still are working their asses off.
To me, THAT is what MPA is about. Working hard, sweating like a horse, losing sleep, freaking out, and loving every damn minute of it.
A few months ago I Facebooked, "It kind of just hit me that this really is "thesis season" and we're all gonna be insanely busy until May. We're going to unload and load the Mule every other day...spend hours revising scripts and treatments...stress about who will be our thesis advisor or on our crews...spend unlimited hours in the editing suites. All I have to say is, HELL YEAH. THIS is why I became an MPA. :)"
That still holds true. I don't care how hard this is. I am proud to be a filmmaker, and I am proud to be an Interlochen Motion Picture Arts major.
STOLEN DIALOGUE
"I'm not really in the habit of looking at people's bottoms."
[talking about school uniform]
Teacher: So, the physics teacher taught me to look at people's bottoms.
Student: Well, out of context, that's just wonderful...
[still talking about uniforms]
Teacher: Can you go find yourself some britches that aren’t jeans that are close enough to navy blue to be uniform?
Student: I can’t! All my blue pants are dirty!
Teacher: Well, you need navy blue britches. So go get yourself a pair. Borrow some, maybe?
Student: I can’t — dude, my friends are [Really Skinny Dude #1] and [Really Skinny Dude #2]! I can’t fit into their pants! I don’t know how they can fit into their pants!
"So today I realized there are directions on the side of Pop-Tart boxes. Dude, no person is stupid enough to need DIRECTIONS to eat a Pop-Tart. That's gotta be a misprint. Or, like, a really bad joke from the Pop-Tart company."
"I've been living with him for so long that everything sounds like sarcasm to me."
Person one: I'm going to go back to my dorm and sleep for a month.
Person two: Good idea, I think I'll join you.
"I think the main reason I've never done anything stupid is because I'm smart."
[seeing the effect of the fog machine for the first time]
"Oh my God...it's like The Mist in here!"
Person one: So we had a fog machine on set today.
Person two: Oh my God, did you die?
Person one: No, but I now have proof that my thesis advisor is insane.
Person two: Really? Why?
Person one: Because he ran around going, 'Oh my God, you have haze! That makes me so happy!' And he didn't seem to notice that we were asphyxiating.
[talking about riding on the back of the grip truck]
Person one: Can we ride?
Teacher: Well...
Person one: Dude, you would be the coolest teacher EVER!
Person two: Dude, he'd be the fired-est teacher ever.
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