...Getting everyone together in one place.
And the sad thing is, I am so not even joking about that.
Okay. So here is my to-do list for my movie (and this all has to be done by Saturday OR ELSE):
1. Get with my art director. Together, we will get all of my actors together and figure out their wardrobe for the film. This will hopefully be accomplished by having an "open room," that is, having guys and girls together in one dorm room, which at Interlochen is kind of like convincing your parents to let you have your boyfriend and his buddies over while they're (your parents) out. You KNOW nothing is going to happen, but they aren't so sure.
2. Get two of my actors together and have them pose for a photograph so that my VA buddy can draw a picture version of it in my sketchbook.
3. Find VA buddy (hopefully get together with her and my art director, so we're all on the same page), email her the photos, give her the lowdown on what I want for the drawing, and figure out a fail-safe deadline for said drawing.
4. Get my two leads together with a handful of extras so we can get some background photos. Once again, my art director must be present.
5. Get with my composer and talk about what the music will sound like. Give him the most recent version of the ever-changing script and show him some preview stills (a.k.a. the pictures I took for my art director and Visual Artist) so he'll have a jump-start on writing the actual music.
6. Have a meeting with my thesis advisor. Discuss possibility of adding dialogue to the script. Get into argument. Argue until it's time for class to begin. Get to class. Get out of class. Repeat process.
7. Get together with DP and gaffer (a.k.a. cameraperson and lighting person) and talk about shots, storyboards, lights, and other such technical details. The challenge here is finding a night this week when gaffer is not swamped with her owh thesis film and DP is not busy with friends and/or school.
8. Go on a prop/costume hunt with my art director. I think this is self-explanatory.
As you can see, most of these projects involve meeting with other people. Now, I have a hard enough time getting stuff done on my own. But when I have to coordinate times and dates with half a dozen others, my time management skills go even deeper into the crapper. That's really not good, especially seeing as I am shooting next Wednesday and my rehearsal is this Friday.
There is only one phrase that describes my current schedule. In the words of my very good friend Emily: This is just craptacular.
THIS AFTERNOON:
Confirm audio recordist (which is kind of necessary for a film, having an audio recordist, I mean). Chase down producer and make sure he got the correct dates for the actual shoot. Set meeting with thesis advisor.
TONIGHT
Homework. Food service. More homework. IM with long-distance friend. Sleep (optional). Email VA and explain the dimensions/specifications of the picture that she will draw for my set. Meet with art director and confirm appointments with actors for the photo shoots/costume sessions. Call parents.
TOMORROW
Homework. World History quiz (yuck!). Photo shoot with actors. Email shots to VA. Possibly have that meeting with DP and gaffer. Meet with thesis advisor sometime at noon. Commence arguing. Lock self in room and cry because no one understands my ingenius vision. Calm self with Michael Jackson or Red Jumpsuit Apparatus music. Email thesis advisor and admit that he MIGHT be right about that one pesky line of dialogue that I don't really want to edit. Wonder if I'm a sellout. Decide I'm not a sellout and move on. Call parents.
THURSDAY
Community meeting. Homework. Photo shoot with actors and extras. Possible costume session. Possible prop hunt. Hang posters for GSA and get those lovely questions such as, "Why are you doing that when you could be working on your thesis?" Double food service shift to make up for the fact that I missed last Thursday's shift. Call parents. Rehearsal with actors. Feel nervous around Bill. Feel nervous around actor whom I barely even knew before auditions. Try not to curse around actors or Bill.
FRIDAY
Meet with composer. Meet with art director. Possible continuation of costume session and prop hunts (depends on how much we get done on Thursday). Homework. Homework. Did I mention homework? Possible prelight. Mentally curse the MPA calender for not allowing me to participate in Day of Silence. Call parents and complain profusely.
SATURDAY
Meet with art director again. Finalize whatever else we have to do for my shoot. Use foul language when I inevitably discover that there's just ONE MORE THING that we should've done during the week but instead will have to do over the weekend. Scare art director. Prelight? Curse MPA calender again for not allowing one of my favorite people to be on my shoot. Kick door in frustration. Procrastinate weekend homework. Call parents.
SUNDAY
Wake up early to go to church. Brunch with fellow churchgoers. Take nap. Meet with art director to do whatever we didn't get done in the week. Scare art director. Meet with my two leads and work on chemistry. Meet with one lead and give the ever-unhelpful advice of "just be yourself." Kick door again. Curse again. Scare actors. Scare AD. Repeat MJ/RJA calming ritual and work on beat analysis. Call parents. Continue procrastination.
MONDAY
Wake up early for student senate. Go to mall for final prop-hunt. Scare producer and art director one last time. Fix all last-minute miscommunications. Meet with composer final time. Sleep. FaceBook. Possibly blog. IM with long-distance friends. Rush to get all homework done before class on Tuesday morning. Cuss. Wish for a three-day weekend. Call parents.
TUESDAY
Last day before shooting. Panic. Call best friend (who conveniently lives out of state) and panic some more. Call friends from old high school (a.k.a. "my boys") and panic until they give me a reality check and shut me up. Panic about all homework that I didn't get done over the weekend. Curse. Food service. Curse some more. Call composer and complain. Get reality check from composer. Call DP and complain. Get reality check from DP. Homework. Study. Call parents. Cry. Listen to MJ until I fall asleep.
WEDNESDAY
Shoot film. Annoy everyone on set with my hyperness. Promise myself an ice cream from Bud's if I do not curse ONCE on my set. Fail at not cursing and lose the Bud's ice cream. Try to stay calm, which will be harder than usual as I cannot just whip out my iPod and listen to RJA or MJ when I flip out in the middle of the set. Get through day and feel ridiculously proud of self. Call parents and gush about how wonderful my first day of shooting was.
THURSDAY
Sleep in (finally!). Do homework. Go to community meeting. Try not to obsess over tomorrow's shoot. Food service. Listen to MJ and RJA and try to stay calm. Call parents.
FRIDAY
Shoot film. (See above.) Try to get Andrew Way to cry. Get laughed at. Hear thesis advisor say "I told you to cast the other guy!" Argue profusely with thesis advisor. Watch Andrew nail scene in one take. Gloat at thesis advisor. Repeat process until shooting is done. Homework. Screenplay reading. See parents? Sleep (optional).
SATURDAY
Go to class. Forcibly thank God that I will get to sleep in this weekend. See parents and hug the crap out of them. Try on prom dress. Sleep.
There you go, people. A week in the life of an MPA. Well, more like two weeks. And keep in mind, this is just what goes on with the film...I didn't even talk about prepping for the screenplay reading, studying for the world history quiz, studying for the SAT (which I'm not taking until June, thank God), hanging with friends (IF I have time to do that this week)...
Yeah. This kind of makes me think about the first week of school, when I met up with a couple of actors and asked them what they liked to do in their spare time. They replied with scathing looks and condescendingly informed me, "We're theater majors. We don't get spare time."
I'm an MPA. I don't get spare time.
And I love every minute of it.
STOLEN DIALOGUE:
[in class, doing a dialogue exercise]: "I was watching Spongebob with a lot of people...Edward was one of them...he was wearing a pink sweater...and man, he was yummy!"
[What makes it even funnier is that it was a guy who was saying this...]
Person one: How about mumblecore porn?
Person two: Uh, subject change please.
"When I'm high, five minutes feels like an hour...put that together with listening to an orchestra...dear God, I think I just found a way to time-travel!"
[talking about my film teacher changing a schedule]
Me: Michael doesn't change his mind easily. Jeff and I will have to tag-team him.
My dad: You take him low and Jeff can hit him high. He should go down like a bunch...of...BROCCOLI!!!
"Vanessa Hudgens is in Rent? Dude, the apocalypse is SO gonna hit when that show comes out."
"I would so love to see you participate in Day of Silence. It might be the only chance I ever have to see you not curse for a whole 24 hours."
"I love how we all get on FaceBook as soon as Michael walks out of the room..."
"Hello, Johnston-Carter zoo, how can I help you?"
"Hey, guys? Just so you know, we're going to have a coup d'etat when Mr. McCall walks into the room. Someone grab the guillotine, okay?"
Film teacher: At the risk of sounding like a noob, what's a snuggie?
All of us: Oh my God! Michael! You don't know what a snuggie is?
Film teacher: I repeat...at the risk of sounding like a noob, what's a snuggie?
"Did you really expect All Quiet on the Western Front to be a happy movie?"
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