And, unfortunately, I don't have any time right now either, because I have to fact-check my reader script for tonight's news broadcast, e-mail a bunch of people to set up interviews for my Night of Nets documentary, find someone to compose the music for What's Left of You, and start working on an essay for my first-year seminar. Whew! So, with all that in mind, please understand (yes, people who have been bugging me even after I explained this to you, I AM LOOKING AT YOU RIGHT NOW) that I won't always have time to blog.
But right now, against my better judgment, I am blogging. Because I missed it. Because it's fun. Because I absolutely can't wait to share a ton of accumulated stolen dialogue with you.
Now, if you told me that once I got to college, I'd spend Saturday nights looking up malaria statistics and listening to Ryan Cabrera and Jesse McCartney (but only after watching A Clockwork Orange, of course), I'd think you were on milk-plus. (Heh. See what I did there? No? Okay, you people have got to see that movie. Really. You do.) But that's what I've been doing pretty much every free evening this past week. Well, that and wading through piles of flash cards and conjugation charts, and being tortured at the hands of my Spanish teacher whose idea of fun is trying to hold an entire conversation, in Spanish, about Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis' inter-cultural relationship.
You see, I am part of the McDaniel Advocacy Team. I don't think it's any secret that I have a bit of a thing for social issues. (Just ask anyone who's ever heard my rant on gay marriage or gotten a red ribbon shoved under their nose at the end of October.) But I never realized the scope of what I could do to help until I joined the Advocacy Team at my college...in the very same semester that I got into a TV Production class where we put out a newscast every week.
We spent our first meeting of the Advocacy Team calling and e-mailing senators, telling them to make sure nutrition programs were kept in schools, so that kids who can't get enough to eat at home can get a school lunch every day. Now, I don't know about you, but it's been my experience that most of the time, the first club meeting of the year is a whole lot of "Hi, I'm ____, I'm a junior/senior _____ major, and THIS is what we do in ____ Club!" and not much action. But with Advocacy Team, we were working to make a difference on the very first night. And I was just sitting there thinking, "Okay. This is my kind of deal."
And this month we're also doing "A Night of Nets" to raise money for malaria-preventing mosquito nets. My job is to make a short film/documentary to promote the event and raise malaria awareness. This documentary will play on Terror TV and probably be promoted on the internet. I'm excited. Not only will I be promoting awareness for a serious issue, but I'll also be getting my name out there and showing that I can do more than just cute little narrative films about rock stars and oversensitive gay boys. The last time I made a documentary, I was a sophomore in high school and promoting my school play. This will be more serious, with a sharper edge--I know it'll be hard to pull off, but I'm going to go for it. This is my chance to make a difference. I CAN DO THIS.
So, there's that. And then there's TV Production in itself, which is, to be blunt, a shit-ton of work. Ditto for Intro to Media. Not gonna lie, ItM is NOT my favorite class, sadly enough. I love Slade, and I love cinema, but ItM is comprised of two basic things: 1) Stuff I already know and am bored when we discuss it in class, and 2) Stuff I don't already know but think I do and make a fool of myself discussing it in class. Not so much fun, when push comes to shove. But I think I'm going to like our massive marketing project...if I can ever decide on an issue to promote, that is.
So. Now you know pretty much everything I've been doing the last few weeks. And I honestly don't have time to do much else with this post, so...
~STOLEN DIALOGUE~
[A little note: I've decided to stop censoring the curse words/anatomy slang words on Stolen Dialogue. I'm sorry if it offends anyone, but this is college, and people curse, and when this occurs in stolen dialogue it is absolutely hilarious. So again, I don't mean to be offensive, but I'm not going to censor the stolen dialogue. So, to paraphrase Dave Barry, if you do not want to see bad words, do not read this part of the blog.)
"A tiger walking into Glar [dining hall] is no joking matter."
Person one: How did you get his phone?
Person two: Well, you see, there's these things called "roofies..."
Person one: Don't need to say anymore.
Person one: Are you okay?
Person two: Usually not. But today I am.
Person one: Dude, I saw our mascot--it is a fucking MUPPET, okay?
Person two: Don't use those words together, please...
Person one: There was one straight guy for every ten gay guys. Can you imagine how many girls turned bi out of sexual frustration?
Person two: Ha. "I am sexually angry...I will start dating chicks now..."
"I have a little problem called, 'What the hell, how does one person own so many books?'"
"I guess if I need something moved, I should ask a 60-year-old woman."
"Can we move on to level-two dumbass suggestions?"
"It's probably not that attractive to call your spouse a moron."
"Who the hell cooks a rabbit in this day and age? I hate that moms are like, 'Oh, this book is going to make my little boy grow up to be a man, and learn how to cook a frickin' rabbit!'"
Person one: Shall we move on to a point that's going to make you even more annoyed?
Person two: Go for it.
"I'm an English professor, so I'm down with 'Everybody should know some Shakespeare,' but...it doesn't strike me as 'dangerous' or 'for boys,' like--I know Shakespeare, do I have to get a sex change?"
(talking about yeast infections)
"I mean, it's...supposed to be in bread...what is it doing down there?"
(talking about an early 20th century sex manual)
"When Stopes is saying 'not returning his ardent passion,' she means 'does not want to fuck.'"
"I have never said, 'Hey, do you want me to joyously yield to you tonight?'"
"City life...it's a hotbed of premature ejaculation."
"If I went up to my crush in high school and said, 'Hey, want to weed my parents' garden this weekend?' he'd probably look at me like, 'What are you smoking?'"
"Secluded garden for a first date? What are we, Adam and Eve?"
"Weeds have great self-defense systems."
"Cats are some serious loud when they go at it. You might think, 'So is my roommate,' but cats are worse."
"Whenever I see a study like this, no matter how scientific it claims to be, my bullshit-o-meter comes out."
"I am up to my ass crack in flash cards."
"I miss the pee pee run!"
Person one: Um...true or false: I once pulled twelve infected worms out of a rabbit's butt.
Person two: Who the hell makes that up?
"Maybe God is just like, 'Crocs! Hallelujah!'"
"Hello? Hey, Dad...I was just doing my black pastor impersonation...yeah, we were talking about Crocs."
"Oh no...why did you circumcise the Eiffel Tower?"
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