End-of-year reflection (MY way)

It's almost New Year's Eve. I could be all whiny, and quiet, and reflective. Or...I could do this...

What I wish I'd known my first semester of college

All-nighters = BAD IDEA. I can't stress this enough. If you have a test in the morning, for God's sake go to sleep. You won't do any better on the test, I guarantee it. You'll be a groggy idiot who can't remember the answers. The only situation in which all-nighters potentially work is when you have a big project due the next day...but ONLY if you don't have tests or important in-class exercises in any of your other classes that day, or you'll be--you got it--a groggy idiot who can't remember the answers. Even if you're a total night owl like me, aim for AT LEAST six hours a night. It's worth it, I swear.

Better solution: Study in advance. What I found worked for me was to start studying about a week before the test (if it's a subject you're having a hard time with, add time; if it's a really easy class or a subject that comes naturally to you, feel free to subtract a day or two). If you've got a big project coming up, start thinking about it the day that it's assigned--don't wait until the last minute; teachers can almost always tell the difference between a paper written at four A.M. the day it's due and a paper that was started three or four weeks ago.

Do not skip meals. I learned this the hard way. What happens when you don't eat (or eat nothing but chocolate or chips) all day, and then suddenly eat a big dinner? DISASTER, that's what. Once I actually threw up because of this...and what's worse than throwing up right after your grade-making (or potentially grade-killing) Spanish test? Getting a crappy grade on that test because you've spent the entire hour trying not to throw up.

Better solution: Everyone says, "Don't keep food in your room," but actually, you should. Here's the trick: Don't keep Pop-Tarts. Keep apples, granola bars, Go-Gurt, those little 100-calorie snack bags...anything that you can grab as you're running out the door. And if you have literally nothing in your room and absolutely MUST go to the dining hall? DO IT. Think of it this way: 5 minutes late to class vs. night/day of feeling nauseous and ten minutes of barfing. Which would you rather do?

Don't ignore the people in your morning classes. I know, I know. It's early. You have morning breath. You're wearing your pants inside-out. You forgot your homework. The last thing you want to do is socialize. Believe me, I've been there. (It's even MORE "fun" when the guy right next to you is ridiculously cute...yeah, that happened to me.) But guess what? If you skimp on the socializing, or even just the small talk, you're going to miss out on some very valuable allies.

Better solution: Talk to the people in your morning classes. Make small talk--a simple "Nice t-shirt" can work wonders. Ask to borrow a pencil, even if you already have one--it can be a good lead-in to another conversation. Don't be nosy, but if you ask about someone's test grade and it turns out they got an A and you got a C, ask if you can study together for the next one. In short: make friends with the people in your class. You'll be thankful for it later, when you're sick and need someone to drop off an assignment or get notes for you.

Never, EVER try to cheat. One of my friends got in massive trouble and almost didn't get to take her final because she was caught cheating. When I say "cheating," I don't mean sneaking looks at your friend's paper. (The teachers will be prepared for that anyway, and either take preventive measures or catch you faster than you can say "failed exam.") I mean hanging around outside the exam room and asking the people who come out what questions were on the test. I mean looking at an upperclassman's test from the semester or year before (in the event that the teacher gives the same test every year). I mean writing answers on a rubber band or on the back of your pencil case...you get the idea.

Better solution: Don't cheat. Just don't do it. I don't cheat, but I know a lot of people who think it's a perfect substitute for studying. Ask to study with a friend. Start studying in advance, so you don't have to cram. And take notes! Take LOTS of notes. Take lots of ORGANIZED notes. Don't just write down a few words and underline them. Date your notes, color-code your notes, and use those little divider things. Study, study, STUDY! And if you don't study (for whatever reason), still don't cheat. It's not worth getting suspended or not getting credit for that class. The way I see it, a 60 on a test is better than a 0 in a class.

DON'T MISS ASSIGNMENTS. Just don't. Even if you're sick. Even if you have to rush off to a study-abroad meeting at the exact same time as your class (yes, this happened to me). Even if you have ten other assignments due that week. Yes, even if it means missing Glee. I had to learn the hard way that missing even one or two assignments--especially if you don't have 100% on everything else in the class--can have serious repercussions on your grade. I got a B+ in a class I should've had an A in because I missed two three-point assignments.

Better solution: Try--yes, really try--to keep up with those little assignments. You know, those things you think you can skip because they won't damage your grade? Here's a tip: THEYCAN HURT YOUR GRADE. Like, a lot. For these, it's totally okay to watch TV or listen to music at the same time (as opposed to studying for a test, where you'd damn well better not be trying to multitask)--whatever it takes to get you to do them. And for those times when you have four massive projects due for each of your classes, and you think it's better to "prioritize" and do a great job on one and not turn in any of the others, do all four of them anyway. It's better to get a mediocre grade on something than not get a grade on it at all.

Partying is soooo not worth it. I love how everyone thinks that once you get to college, you can just get loaded or get stoned without consequence. Here's the truth, darlings: NO. That does not happen. Here's what does happen: 1) You go to a party. 2) It's lame, so you leave. 3) The next morning, there's puke in your shower and used condoms all over the floor in your lounge. Ew. OR: 1) You go to a party, 2) you get wasted, and 3) you fail all your tests/quizzes or forget to turn in your assignments/go to class the next day. Yeah. Either way, you lose.

Better solution: Okay, okay. I know this is incredibly lame, but here's what I do: Join clubs. The big thing for me right now is InterVarsity Christian Fellowship--but please don't think that all we do there is pray and read the Bible; we have pizza parties, game/movie nights, girls' nights out, trick-or-treating, Wednesday Night Worship, all kinds of stuff. And for the record, I have a blast hanging out with my IVCF friends. You don't have to be Christian (though I have met people who think you do), you just have to know that there are better ways to have a good time than getting so plastered you can't remember your own name.

Doing your homework is more important than reading IndieWIRE. (Or checking your Facebook, or going on YouTube, or playing Disney games, or online shopping...whatever your procrastination activity of choice may be.) I learned this the hard way, too. And it's so funny how "just five minutes" can turn into three hours, am I right? And then next thing you know, you have half an hour to complete an important assignment, or study for a test that could make or break your grade.

Better solution: Don't leave work off until you have to cram for a test or do a project an hour before it's due. My latest discovery: If you work for thirty minutes and then break for ten or fifteen, it's much easier because you're not forcing your brain to work like a servant for hours on end. (Just make sure your work time is longer than your break time. And no, that does not mean working for 30 minutes and breaking for 29.)

Your professors are not out to get you. But it's also not going to be like Interlochen (or any high school, really), where you bond with a lot of your teachers right off the bat. There will be teachers you will not love. There will be teachers who you do love, but who aren't that impressed by you. Here's what you do not ever do: Alienate your teachers right off the bat. This includes mouthing off, texting in class, sending e-mails that LOOK like a text message, or (worst of all) doing all of the above.

Better solution: Don't kiss up, but please, for the love of all that's holy, TRY to bond with your teachers. Participate in class. Doing your homework is important, yes, but raise your hand, ask questions, say (intelligent) things about the assignments. And God help you if you sleep through class (yes, that actually happened to me once) or, even worse, fall asleep in class. (Do you even have to ask?)

So, all that practical advice aside, here are my favorite, FUN lessons from my first semester of college:

1. Egg salad wrap after day of not eating + a truckton of Christmas candy + trouble sleeping + Nutcracker score + friend knocking on your door to give you a Christmas present + long, LONG weekend of studying ahead of you = perfect excuse to go and have a two-person dance party with your hallmate at five-thirty AM in the building where half your classes are held.
2. Tony the Tiger can waltz into your cafeteria whenever the hell he feels like it, and this will provide infinite laughs for you and your classmates.
3. It IS possible for you to meet three film majors named Pat, all of them male, all of them two years older than you, within two years. I'm seeing a trend here...
4. Riding a scooter to church is ONLY a good idea if Daylight Savings Time has NOT ended yet.
5. College students will eat pizza anywhere, anytime, regardless of who makes it.
6. Getting tackled by a very small Irish girl with a very loud voice is very, very painful. Particularly when it is on a non-carpeted floor.
7. The fire alarm will go off when it feels like it, regardless of whether or not there is an actual fire.
8. The night that you have a midterm to study for will be the only night that your hallmates feel the need to throw a party right down the hall from your room (a.k.a., your favorite place to study).
9. Michigan is colder than Maryland. It's easy to forget these things when you haven't been in Michigan for three months.
10. Your dorm room will never, ever be the temperature you want it to be. You have two choices: 1) Incubator, 2) Refrigerator. You cannot win.
11. Question: What is the correct time to dance barefoot in the quad? Answer: During a thunderstorm, of course!
12. That random chick with the manatee necklace, who you just so happen to meet when she stands behind you in line at the student store, can and probably will turn out to be one of the best friends you have ever had.
13. McDaniel Campus may or may not have the largest population of Monty Python fans of any campus in the USA. Research is still being conducted.
14. Having family in the state is amazing...especially when that family involves a political writer uncle, an aunt whose personality closely resembles that of Lorelai Gilmore, and a cousin who owns three dogs that are so hyper that you think they may actually be related to Stitch.
15. That guy you loved in high school, who you swore was unique in every possible way? Yeah...he has a sixteen-year-old counterpart: a freshman physics major who will actually sit at the dinner table and complain because he won't have a PhD by the time he's twenty-one years old. No, before you even ask, I am NOT making this up. Such a person does exist. And no matter how smart you think you are, you will rethink your own intelligence after spending five minutes with this kid. And he will make you laugh. Hard.
16. Audition for Vagina Monologues. Just do it. You will feel like an idiot, but I'm telling you, it is sooooo worth it.
17. People do not feel the need to go to bed at normal hours. I don't care how late you're up, there will ALWAYS be someone else who is awake.
18. Harry Potter fans are just as rabid in college as they are in high school.
19. The Philosophy Club is the coolest club on campus, because they wear glow-stick underwear and hold dances outside and sit on rock waterfalls in meetings and randomly text you and make Inception references at just the right moments.
20. Best part of all: All those crazy, weird, stupid-as-hell things you did in high school, that you thought would have to end in college? Wearing cloches and long skirts for the hell of it, and dancing in the pouring rain, and staying up all night just because you want to see the sunrise, and watching RENT instead of going to a party, and reading Cyrano de Bergerac for the 100th time, and cuddling with your guy friends, and acting like a four-year-old with your guy friends, and just generally being crazy with your guy friends, and calling your girl friends at two AM because you think you might be in love with one of your guy friends? Guess what?

You can still do them.

Always.

Always, always, always.

Happy New Year, fellow beatniks.

Vive la résistance, forever and ever.

For all those who are wondering...

So I was looking at the Interlochen message boards on FB, and it occurred to me that newbie Interlochen students might need some advice. Not just the kind they give you in the brochures or the handbook, but stuff that any Interlochen student knows is actually USEFUL. (In the handbook, for those of you who don't know, they outline the rules but don't tell you much about actual LIFE at IAA...fellow IAAs, do you know what I'm talking about?) Anyway, here are my general warnings to first-years: If you take a literature class with Mr. Wescott (I'm not even sure if he's still there, but just in case), he is VERY picky about interpretations and he WILL give you low grades if your interpretation of a poem or book is wildly different from his. Not saying he's a horrible teacher or anything, just a heads-up. And you HAVE to talk in his class, even if it's first hour and the only thing you can say is "coffee, please," you STILL have to participate in class discussion or you WILL get a low participation grade...don't make the same mistakes I did! McCall's history class is decent. Ms. Kullenberg's math classes are fun but REALLY freakin' hard. A little heads-up: Elements of Fiction counts as an English/composition class, so even if you aren't a creative writer but you need an English credit, I'd suggest that one. Also--if you are in the DeRoy dorm, it can get veeery loud after sign-in, so if you like to go to sleep right at sound-out, just be warned, you might want to bring headphones or earplugs. I also would suggest studying at the library if you prefer peace and quiet. Of course if you like noise and chaos, you will be in the right place lol. Get to the line for the Corners Van (a.k.a. grocery-shopping trip) early on Thursday night, unless you enjoy standing in line for an hour or two. You WILL eventually have to do food service. Do NOT sign up for the dining-room-cleaning part of the shift. Take shifts early at dinnertime, preferably starting as soon as dinnertime begins, so you can serve food instead of wandering around aimlessly with a bottle of table cleaner in your hand, bored out of your mind. If you have laundry service, do yourself a favor and DROP IT OFF THE NIGHT BEFORE, especially if you live in DeRoy and have to walk across the street to drop off your laundry. Few things are less fun than skipping breakfast or getting a tardy because you had to pack your laundry bag and run it across the street before going to class. To all the lucky people from warm states/countries: Do NOT underestimate Northern Michigan winter. You will think, "It's just snow, how bad can it be?" until you find yourself literally skidding from class to class on a solid sheet of ice. Wear boots in the winter. Under NO circumstances should you wear Converse, unless you enjoy falling on your ass every five minutes. Stone food = HELL. If you are lucky enough to be able to eat ANYTHING (this is what I witnessed with some of the guys in my major from last year), you'll be fine. If, like me, you are a picky eater...WATCH OUT! Tom's (local grocery store) is a good option. Ordering food in every night, or going to the Melody Freeze (campus cafe) every day, gets reeeeally expensive. The Scholarshop sells decent food, but at RIDICULOUS prices. Therefore, I must inform you that going to Tom's once a week is indeed your best bet. If you do your own laundry, you will usually have to run the driers twice, because your clothes will probably NEVER dry completely the first time. Consequently, laundry costs you about 3-4 dollars a week, as opposed to the two bucks most people think (one for the washer and one for the drier). Also, if you get a Tide pen instead of buying bottled stain remover, you will save yourself a lot of money and a lot of mess. You don't HAVE to call your parents every night, but they sure as freaking hell appreciate it. If you know you won't be able to call every night just to say hello or good-night, friend them on Facebook (or bug them to get Facebook profiles) so you can post on their walls every now and then. Don't feel trapped by the uniform! Teachers make a big deal out of it, but as long as you have navy bottoms and an Interlochen-logo light-blue shirt, they'll let you wear just about ANYTHING with it. I've seen some of the most incredible outfits centered around the Interlochen dress code policy--the most notable of which being a navy-blue jumpsuit (you know who you are...and if you see this, tell me, WHERE THE HELL DID YOU FIND THAT?!). Just so you know: You are NOT allowed in Kresge or the Interlochen Bowl during the school year. However, it is VERY easy to break this rule, simply by pretending you were unaware of it. (Not that I ever have... *innocentface*) If you think you can get away with a hookup in the Writing House, think again. Most nights, teachers stay behind for tutorials (to those of you who are saying "so what?", let me put it this way: Imagine hooking up in a school building while three or four of your teachers are inside). Even if they don't, there's "roving," a.k.a. hall counselors walking around campus and looking for people trying to get away with having a little against-the-rules fun in buildings like the Writing House. Take advantage of tutorials. Your teachers want to HELP you, not punish you for getting bad grades. Even if it's a teacher you hate. Especially if it's your least-favorite subject. They're not fun, but they help. September + October = RAIN SEASON. Get rain boots, unless you enjoy slogging to class with soaked feet. If you don't have rain boots, or at least a pair of decently water-resistant shoes, you will be jealous of anyone who does. Other good things to have are an umbrella (for obvious reasons) and a vinyl or coated backpack (so your computer and school supplies don't get wet). A scooter is the riding apparatus of choice: It gets you to class, and when you get there you can fold it up and bring it inside instead of leaving it tied to a tree or worrying about someone stealing it. Also, on rainy days, it means you don't have to sit on a wet seat because if you bring it into the classroom, it will stay dry. Only problem is, like other wheeled transportation devices, it does not do too well with snow and ice. There you go. That is my helpful advice to all new Inty students. Now, for the part that I left out in the last post... STOLEN DIALOGUE Person one (reading off the screen of a Garmin): "Queen's Bush Pub?" What the hell is this? (to person in the back, who has beeen wearing headphones) Hey, [kid]? Where do you suppose the Queen's Bush is? Person two: I don't know...under the queen's dress, I guess.  Person one: Shut the f#$% up! Person two: No, YOU shut the f#$% up! Person one: No, YOU shut the f#$% up! Exasperated onlooker: Oh my God, BOTH of you shut the f#$% up!!!! (referring to a stale breadstick) "News at eleven...teenage girl uses old Pizza Hut breadstick to beat off intruder! Are you writing this down?" Person one: Do I look like I haven't slept in three days? Person two: Do I look like I haven't showered in two days? Person one: You haven't slept, I haven't showered...hell, they probably won't let us in [to Meijer]. "Christian preachers are like used-car salesmen: They don't want you to get the full story, or you question what they're selling." Person one: I have a Heath Ledger joke...but it might be in bad taste. Person two: Oh, that's fine. Just tell me. Person one: Okay. What's the difference between Heath Ledger and Heath Ledger jokes? Person two: What? Person one: Heath Ledger jokes can get old. "I have a theory...you ready? Okay, here it is: Laundry should be illegal. Or at least, you shouldn't have to do it yourself, because that just sucks." "Why would anyone need chocolate chunks when they make chocolate chips? It doesn't make any sense! Like...what's the difference?" "I swear, I'm never shopping here [at Meijer] again...they put bread and Hostess cupcakes in the SAME AISLE!" Person one: Do you remember when we were watching The Dark Knight and I was gushing over Gary Oldman and you were like, "For God's sake, he's not even good-looking!" Person two: Sort of. Person one: And I said something stupid back to you, like...I think it was something about how, like, his talent made him beautiful inside or some stupid hippie shit like that. Person two: I hope I laughed at you. Person one: Of course you did.