Interlochen February, Day 18: A Brief Pause in the Celebrations...

DAY 18
February 19
Prompt: "It's OVER, you are NOT at Interlochen anymore!"

At this point in the blog series I'd like to take a moment to address something that I've been hearing a lot from certain non-Interlochen friends recently, and it's really been getting on my nerves. Three "somethings," actually.

SOMETHING #1: I KNOW I AM NOT AT INTERLOCHEN ANYMORE. Let's just get that cleared up right now. I'm not still "lost in high school," and while there are certainly things I regret and things I wish I could change, and things I wish I could have back, I don't want to "go backwards." I'm happy being at college, I love McDaniel despite all its flaws, just like I loved Interlochen despite all its flaws, and I love the friends I've made here. So, one more time, just so we're all clear: I know I am no longer in high school, and I am perfectly content where I am and have no desire to go back to high school.

SOMETHING #2: The whole point of Interlochen February is to celebrate my high school and the memories that I and a lot of others have of that high school. It is not me saying "Oh God I hate my college and want to go back to high school." This is my way of thanking my school and remembering my school. Also, I do still have friends at that school who have not yet graduated--this is my little shout-out to them as well, and my way of encouraging them to live for the good moments and live through the bad ones. It's my way of saying, "Guess what, guys? It doesn't last forever, so make it last--but know that even when you leave, Interlochen will stay with you...you don't have to stop loving Interlochen when you go to college."

SOMETHING #3: This is MY BLOG, guys...I'm sorry to get all MINEMINEMINE on you, but seriously...if you don't like what you're reading, no one is forcing you. No one is saying, "You MUST read Alien Water Torture or you will FAIL AT LIFE!" I know that not everyone who reads this blog went to Interlochen, and if you're bored reading about a school you didn't attend, then you don't have to read any more of my Interlochen February posts; you can come back in March when I'm done. I'm not trying to offend people, I'm not trying to be elitist about my high school, I'm not trying to "rub it in" if you didn't love your high school experience (and, as anyone who has read more than one or two posts of this blog will know, I didn't love everything about my HS experience and I don't know anyone who did). And I'm sorry if you're bored, or offended, or whatever reading about Interlochen, but no one is forcing you. So please, if you're one of the people who has been hounding me or saying "Write about something else!" (you know who you are), STOP. This is the last time I'm going to be nice about it.

(Also, I find it highly interesting that out of all the controversial topics I've written about, this is what people choose to confront me over. I'm just throwing that out there...)

The thing is, guys, Interlochen is the kind of place that sticks with you. So you can say, "Well, you're in college now, so forget about Interlochen," but you know what? It doesn't work like that. I know that going to college means leaving high school behind, but that doesn't mean I can't remember my high school, or enjoy the memories of my high school. As I said, I know that not everyone loves their high school experience, and there were definitely things that I hated at Interlochen...but if I had to go back and choose again, I would still choose to go there. Interlochen changed me, it helped me grow, it made me into who I am today. And that's something that I will never forget, even when I've left college and gone to the so-called "real world."

End-of-year reflection (MY way)

It's almost New Year's Eve. I could be all whiny, and quiet, and reflective. Or...I could do this...

What I wish I'd known my first semester of college

All-nighters = BAD IDEA. I can't stress this enough. If you have a test in the morning, for God's sake go to sleep. You won't do any better on the test, I guarantee it. You'll be a groggy idiot who can't remember the answers. The only situation in which all-nighters potentially work is when you have a big project due the next day...but ONLY if you don't have tests or important in-class exercises in any of your other classes that day, or you'll be--you got it--a groggy idiot who can't remember the answers. Even if you're a total night owl like me, aim for AT LEAST six hours a night. It's worth it, I swear.

Better solution: Study in advance. What I found worked for me was to start studying about a week before the test (if it's a subject you're having a hard time with, add time; if it's a really easy class or a subject that comes naturally to you, feel free to subtract a day or two). If you've got a big project coming up, start thinking about it the day that it's assigned--don't wait until the last minute; teachers can almost always tell the difference between a paper written at four A.M. the day it's due and a paper that was started three or four weeks ago.

Do not skip meals. I learned this the hard way. What happens when you don't eat (or eat nothing but chocolate or chips) all day, and then suddenly eat a big dinner? DISASTER, that's what. Once I actually threw up because of this...and what's worse than throwing up right after your grade-making (or potentially grade-killing) Spanish test? Getting a crappy grade on that test because you've spent the entire hour trying not to throw up.

Better solution: Everyone says, "Don't keep food in your room," but actually, you should. Here's the trick: Don't keep Pop-Tarts. Keep apples, granola bars, Go-Gurt, those little 100-calorie snack bags...anything that you can grab as you're running out the door. And if you have literally nothing in your room and absolutely MUST go to the dining hall? DO IT. Think of it this way: 5 minutes late to class vs. night/day of feeling nauseous and ten minutes of barfing. Which would you rather do?

Don't ignore the people in your morning classes. I know, I know. It's early. You have morning breath. You're wearing your pants inside-out. You forgot your homework. The last thing you want to do is socialize. Believe me, I've been there. (It's even MORE "fun" when the guy right next to you is ridiculously cute...yeah, that happened to me.) But guess what? If you skimp on the socializing, or even just the small talk, you're going to miss out on some very valuable allies.

Better solution: Talk to the people in your morning classes. Make small talk--a simple "Nice t-shirt" can work wonders. Ask to borrow a pencil, even if you already have one--it can be a good lead-in to another conversation. Don't be nosy, but if you ask about someone's test grade and it turns out they got an A and you got a C, ask if you can study together for the next one. In short: make friends with the people in your class. You'll be thankful for it later, when you're sick and need someone to drop off an assignment or get notes for you.

Never, EVER try to cheat. One of my friends got in massive trouble and almost didn't get to take her final because she was caught cheating. When I say "cheating," I don't mean sneaking looks at your friend's paper. (The teachers will be prepared for that anyway, and either take preventive measures or catch you faster than you can say "failed exam.") I mean hanging around outside the exam room and asking the people who come out what questions were on the test. I mean looking at an upperclassman's test from the semester or year before (in the event that the teacher gives the same test every year). I mean writing answers on a rubber band or on the back of your pencil case...you get the idea.

Better solution: Don't cheat. Just don't do it. I don't cheat, but I know a lot of people who think it's a perfect substitute for studying. Ask to study with a friend. Start studying in advance, so you don't have to cram. And take notes! Take LOTS of notes. Take lots of ORGANIZED notes. Don't just write down a few words and underline them. Date your notes, color-code your notes, and use those little divider things. Study, study, STUDY! And if you don't study (for whatever reason), still don't cheat. It's not worth getting suspended or not getting credit for that class. The way I see it, a 60 on a test is better than a 0 in a class.

DON'T MISS ASSIGNMENTS. Just don't. Even if you're sick. Even if you have to rush off to a study-abroad meeting at the exact same time as your class (yes, this happened to me). Even if you have ten other assignments due that week. Yes, even if it means missing Glee. I had to learn the hard way that missing even one or two assignments--especially if you don't have 100% on everything else in the class--can have serious repercussions on your grade. I got a B+ in a class I should've had an A in because I missed two three-point assignments.

Better solution: Try--yes, really try--to keep up with those little assignments. You know, those things you think you can skip because they won't damage your grade? Here's a tip: THEYCAN HURT YOUR GRADE. Like, a lot. For these, it's totally okay to watch TV or listen to music at the same time (as opposed to studying for a test, where you'd damn well better not be trying to multitask)--whatever it takes to get you to do them. And for those times when you have four massive projects due for each of your classes, and you think it's better to "prioritize" and do a great job on one and not turn in any of the others, do all four of them anyway. It's better to get a mediocre grade on something than not get a grade on it at all.

Partying is soooo not worth it. I love how everyone thinks that once you get to college, you can just get loaded or get stoned without consequence. Here's the truth, darlings: NO. That does not happen. Here's what does happen: 1) You go to a party. 2) It's lame, so you leave. 3) The next morning, there's puke in your shower and used condoms all over the floor in your lounge. Ew. OR: 1) You go to a party, 2) you get wasted, and 3) you fail all your tests/quizzes or forget to turn in your assignments/go to class the next day. Yeah. Either way, you lose.

Better solution: Okay, okay. I know this is incredibly lame, but here's what I do: Join clubs. The big thing for me right now is InterVarsity Christian Fellowship--but please don't think that all we do there is pray and read the Bible; we have pizza parties, game/movie nights, girls' nights out, trick-or-treating, Wednesday Night Worship, all kinds of stuff. And for the record, I have a blast hanging out with my IVCF friends. You don't have to be Christian (though I have met people who think you do), you just have to know that there are better ways to have a good time than getting so plastered you can't remember your own name.

Doing your homework is more important than reading IndieWIRE. (Or checking your Facebook, or going on YouTube, or playing Disney games, or online shopping...whatever your procrastination activity of choice may be.) I learned this the hard way, too. And it's so funny how "just five minutes" can turn into three hours, am I right? And then next thing you know, you have half an hour to complete an important assignment, or study for a test that could make or break your grade.

Better solution: Don't leave work off until you have to cram for a test or do a project an hour before it's due. My latest discovery: If you work for thirty minutes and then break for ten or fifteen, it's much easier because you're not forcing your brain to work like a servant for hours on end. (Just make sure your work time is longer than your break time. And no, that does not mean working for 30 minutes and breaking for 29.)

Your professors are not out to get you. But it's also not going to be like Interlochen (or any high school, really), where you bond with a lot of your teachers right off the bat. There will be teachers you will not love. There will be teachers who you do love, but who aren't that impressed by you. Here's what you do not ever do: Alienate your teachers right off the bat. This includes mouthing off, texting in class, sending e-mails that LOOK like a text message, or (worst of all) doing all of the above.

Better solution: Don't kiss up, but please, for the love of all that's holy, TRY to bond with your teachers. Participate in class. Doing your homework is important, yes, but raise your hand, ask questions, say (intelligent) things about the assignments. And God help you if you sleep through class (yes, that actually happened to me once) or, even worse, fall asleep in class. (Do you even have to ask?)

So, all that practical advice aside, here are my favorite, FUN lessons from my first semester of college:

1. Egg salad wrap after day of not eating + a truckton of Christmas candy + trouble sleeping + Nutcracker score + friend knocking on your door to give you a Christmas present + long, LONG weekend of studying ahead of you = perfect excuse to go and have a two-person dance party with your hallmate at five-thirty AM in the building where half your classes are held.
2. Tony the Tiger can waltz into your cafeteria whenever the hell he feels like it, and this will provide infinite laughs for you and your classmates.
3. It IS possible for you to meet three film majors named Pat, all of them male, all of them two years older than you, within two years. I'm seeing a trend here...
4. Riding a scooter to church is ONLY a good idea if Daylight Savings Time has NOT ended yet.
5. College students will eat pizza anywhere, anytime, regardless of who makes it.
6. Getting tackled by a very small Irish girl with a very loud voice is very, very painful. Particularly when it is on a non-carpeted floor.
7. The fire alarm will go off when it feels like it, regardless of whether or not there is an actual fire.
8. The night that you have a midterm to study for will be the only night that your hallmates feel the need to throw a party right down the hall from your room (a.k.a., your favorite place to study).
9. Michigan is colder than Maryland. It's easy to forget these things when you haven't been in Michigan for three months.
10. Your dorm room will never, ever be the temperature you want it to be. You have two choices: 1) Incubator, 2) Refrigerator. You cannot win.
11. Question: What is the correct time to dance barefoot in the quad? Answer: During a thunderstorm, of course!
12. That random chick with the manatee necklace, who you just so happen to meet when she stands behind you in line at the student store, can and probably will turn out to be one of the best friends you have ever had.
13. McDaniel Campus may or may not have the largest population of Monty Python fans of any campus in the USA. Research is still being conducted.
14. Having family in the state is amazing...especially when that family involves a political writer uncle, an aunt whose personality closely resembles that of Lorelai Gilmore, and a cousin who owns three dogs that are so hyper that you think they may actually be related to Stitch.
15. That guy you loved in high school, who you swore was unique in every possible way? Yeah...he has a sixteen-year-old counterpart: a freshman physics major who will actually sit at the dinner table and complain because he won't have a PhD by the time he's twenty-one years old. No, before you even ask, I am NOT making this up. Such a person does exist. And no matter how smart you think you are, you will rethink your own intelligence after spending five minutes with this kid. And he will make you laugh. Hard.
16. Audition for Vagina Monologues. Just do it. You will feel like an idiot, but I'm telling you, it is sooooo worth it.
17. People do not feel the need to go to bed at normal hours. I don't care how late you're up, there will ALWAYS be someone else who is awake.
18. Harry Potter fans are just as rabid in college as they are in high school.
19. The Philosophy Club is the coolest club on campus, because they wear glow-stick underwear and hold dances outside and sit on rock waterfalls in meetings and randomly text you and make Inception references at just the right moments.
20. Best part of all: All those crazy, weird, stupid-as-hell things you did in high school, that you thought would have to end in college? Wearing cloches and long skirts for the hell of it, and dancing in the pouring rain, and staying up all night just because you want to see the sunrise, and watching RENT instead of going to a party, and reading Cyrano de Bergerac for the 100th time, and cuddling with your guy friends, and acting like a four-year-old with your guy friends, and just generally being crazy with your guy friends, and calling your girl friends at two AM because you think you might be in love with one of your guy friends? Guess what?

You can still do them.

Always.

Always, always, always.

Happy New Year, fellow beatniks.

Vive la résistance, forever and ever.

I'm back...

I'm sorry. That's all I can say. I know how pathetic it is that I haven't blogged for a month, and I wish I'd kept up. But college really is an insane time. The ridiculous amounts of homework, the stress of trying to make new friends and make yourself at home in a new environment, the strange new teachers (and I do mean STRANGE, guys, I assure you), and above all else, the fact that your future is at stake constantly hanging over your head.

So, I'm nineteen years old today. I wish I could write something awesome and profound and beautiful...but that just wouldn't be my style. Instead I'll update everyone on my current obsessions:

1. NaNoWriMo

This is my November obsession. This year, I'm determined to finish--and I'm actually doing surprisingly well. Yes, I know it's silly, but I love writing, and I've never actually finished a novel before, and this seems like too much fun to miss. Ignore my beatnik silliness--or let it inspire you, why not? I still say next year, EVERYONE should do NaNoWriMo.

2. Cloud Cult

Okay, so it's no secret that I like Augustana, right? Well, if you like Augustana, you will rapidly, easily get addicted to Cloud Cult. Their songs are, quite literally, epic. And by epic, I mean beautiful, melodic, soaring, poetic, and heroic. They're like a gentler version of Jim Steinman and Meatloaf. Look up any of their songs on YouTube (my introduction to them was "There's So Much Energy in Us," so I'd recommend you start there), and you will see why I love them so much.

3. Criminal Minds

Yeah. I am in love with this show, and I don't care who knows it. How can I not be, when there's a character like Spencer Reid involved? And let's not forget the ever-yummy Shemar Moore as Derek Morgan...I mean, okay, yes, I mostly do watch the show for the amazing direction, epic storylines, beautiful framing and lighting, and impeccable dialogue, but...really, a girl has eyes, you know? ;)

4. A Clockwork Orange

This movie is absolutely beautiful beyond words. I am completely in love with Alex DeLarge, and no, it's not just because an absolutely gorgeous actor plays him. It's because there has never been a character in cinema, except maybe Hannibal Lecter, who is so utterly compelling that you can't help but root for him even as you watch him rape a writer's wife, kill a cat-lover, and push his best friends into a river.

5. Goat cheese

I don't know what it is about this stuff, but it's bloody addictive. I've put it on everything--salad, pizza, even toast (which was actually really good, just in case you want to try it). It's salty, it's crumbly, it's highly flavorful, and you feel so much more sophisticated eating it than you do eating regular cheese. I don't know why that is (the bit about the sophistication, I mean) but I swear that's what happens. Try it, if you don't believe me.

6. Italy

Possibly because I'll be going there in less than two months, you think? Yeah, I'd say. But hey, if you were offered the opportunity to go around Southern Italy and Sicily and do nothing but take pictures for ten days, you would go, wouldn't you? I'd hope so. You can't imagine how much it means to me--a geeky little cinema nerd who has never left her own country, unless you count driving 45 minutes to get to Canada--to be able to go overseas and be douchey and artistic AND GET SCHOOL CREDIT FOR IT. Honestly...welcome to liberal arts school, folks.

7. CalArts

I NEED to go to this school. Maybe I'll transfer, or maybe I'll just wait until grad school, but either way, I HAVE TO STUDY THERE...I mean...TIM BURTON studied there, for heaven's sake...as did about three-fourths of the Pixar team. And yes, I know it's in the dreaded California, and I know that I made a big deal about wanting to go to the east coast for a few years first, and hey, maybe I'll still do that...but I know that if I'm going to get anywhere in this industry, I HAVE to go to CalArts. End of story.

8. Daniel Radcliffe

My Dan addiction has flared up big-time as of late. Why? I have no idea. I could blame the fact that this time of year, Harry Potter is on every bloody family channel in America, cited as part of a "holiday celebration"...why, exactly? What does Harry Potter have to do with Thanksgiving or Christmas, or don't I want to know? Anyway, I don't particularly care why my must-have-Radcliffe-itis is flaring up again. I just know that it is, and it can only be satisfied by reading and watching every interview I can possibly find.

9. Wedding dresses

Yes, you read that right. I don't know why, but I swear my internet history must be 50% David's Bridal at this point. I have no immediate plans to get married, nor am I writing out any wedding scenes in my NaNo novel, but for some reason I just keep going back and staring at the pretty dresses. I've always loved the Cinderella ballgown and its modern sisters, but really, this is just getting ridiculous.

10. The MPAA

I'll rant in greater detail about my contempt for the ratings system later. For now, everyone should just know that the subject of my NaNo novel is about a grad-school student who challenges the MPAA. Is this wise for me to admit, being a film student? Probably not. No, definitely not. Pretend I never said anything. Just go watch This Film is Not Yet Rated--Kirby Dick says it much better than I ever could.

That's your liberal arts education right there, baby!

OH MY GOD WHAT A RUSH...it has been FOREVER, I know, but holy crud muffins, this place...I thought Interlochen kept you busy...but man oh man, McDaniel knows how to eat up every bit of free time a person has, with social events as well as homework. I swear, in the last few days, I have had one hell of a roller coaster ride. I have gone from laughing like an idiot to crying hysterically in under an hour. I have seen kids my age doing things that a good percentage of adults don't know how to do. I saw a show called CHOICES that absolutely made my life. (I will throw this out there, for consideration: Two guys acting out Black Swan, leotards and all, with a cameo by another male student as "Kevin Bacon from Footloose, your RA." Not kidding.) I love this place more with every minute I spend here. With each day, I am more convinced that McDaniel is the right place for me.

My cinema teacher, Professor Slade, is quickly rivaling Danny Daneau for the position of "Best Teacher Ever." No joke. This is a man who made it clear from the start what his expectations of us were and what we could expect of him--I don't know many high-school teachers who will do that on the first day. Heck, neither of my other teachers at this college did that! He treats us like adults who want to learn, not kids who are here because we have to be. (The fact that he is my professor for my favorite subject may slightly influence this opinion, to be fair. But still.) Also. The title of this blog post is a direct quote from him. So that's cool too, right? ;)

TV Production is taught like we're actually a big-name TV studio--deadlines and all. We MUST put out a news broadcast EVERY week, no exceptions--which means that every student has to bring in a news story every week. Don't know yet what my script will be this week (I kind-of-sort-of-might-have stood up the person I was supposed to interview...not good. Long story short: don't get sick and pass out in your dorm room after class when you have to interview someone for class), but I know that I have absolutely no fears whatsoever about this class. I'm comfortable here, and not just because I've worked the crew-position rotations before. I love working with Slade--and I know I said that about my previous film teachers, some of whom turned out to be not-so-great, but I feel like this is going more like a Danny Daneau class than an Anthony Penta class. (Sorry, Anthony.)

Now, obviously, college kids are subject to all kinds of new experiences, some of which, like living in a dorm room, I thought I'd already experienced via Interlochen. WRONG. College, I quickly found out, is NOTHING like Interlochen. What's the difference, some of you ask? (Oh, you wonderful, naïve people...) Well...

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN COLLEGE AND INTERLOCHEN 101

IF A GUY COMES OUT OF YOUR ROOM...

At Interlochen: The statistical probability is that he is gay, and has just finished giving you a makeover or choosing your clothes for an event.

At college: The statistical probability is that you just had sex.

How I found this out: The hard way, pun not intended...one night, I decided to exercise the newfound freedom of having friends over whenever the hell I wanted, regardless of gender, and brought a guy friend to my room to hang out with me and my roommate. We chilled, we talked. I showed him He's A Rockstar and had a nice little read-along session of Cyrano de Bergerac. Then when he left, GUESS WHAT? A bunch of girls in the hall were looking at us weird, with that kind of expression that just screams Oh my God they just had sex! I had a what-the-hell moment, and then--embarrassment time!--he had to explain it to me!

IF YOU MISS A CLASS...

At Interlochen: All hell breaks loose. Well, not really, but that's what it feels like. You get detention, your teacher lectures you, and you get that lovely phone call with your worried parents, who are afraid that skipping one class will lead you down a path of death, destruction, and low grades.

At college: Quite simply, no one gives a damn. If you miss a class, it's your fault. No one comes after you, no one gives you detention, no one tells your parents. The teacher doesn't talk to you, unless you initiate the talking ("Hey, Professor, what the hell did I miss?"). It really is your responsibility to be in-class on time and to do all your work on time, or you don't get the grade. End of discussion.

How I found this out: Simple--my professors told us. Up-front. "Hey, kids, guess what--this is YOUR problem now. Get up, get here, or get an F. Easy choice."

IF YOU FORGET YOUR HOMEWORK...

At Interlochen: Your teacher says, "Oh, just run back to you room and get it."

At college: Your teacher says, "Sorry, you don't get a grade for this assignment."

How I found this out: Again, the teachers just told us up-front...but I've heard horror stories about teachers who don't, and are then surprised when kids drop their class as soon as humanly possible.

IF YOU STAY UP PAST ELEVEN-THIRTY...

At Interlochen: You get a lights-out infraction and are dormed the following day.

At college: You wake up tired the next morning, or you sleep through your class...or you get lucky and get a schedule where your first class is at three in the afternoon.

How I found this out: When I almost fell asleep in Spanish after staying up until one AM the night before my eight AM class. Trust me, the last thing you want to be at college is a night owl.

IF YOU SMOKE...

At Interlochen: You are in BIG TROUBLE if you get caught. You just never see anyone with a cigarette, even if they are of age. Why? Because it's a suspendable, and in some cases expellable, offense to smoke on the campus.

At college: Go ahead, just do it outside so that you don't set off the smoke alarms or, even worse, set the building on fire.

How I found this out: Hoo, boy. Was I ever in for a surprise when I walked across Red Square my first day of classes. I hadn't expected to see smoking--really, I hadn't even thought of it--but I must say, it wasn't exactly pleasant to walk through a cloud of smoke to get to class.

IF YOU DON'T WEAR THE UNIFORM...

At Interlochen: You will be subjected to lectures from your teachers, unexcused tardies, or dirty looks from classmates who have been subjected to the above while you have not. Moreover, if you wear a skirt that does not come to your knees, your Dean of Students will be all over you--even while the other girls show off their thongs in shorter-than-a-t-shirt skirts.

At college: Uniform? What uniform? The only time clothing is mentioned is when fashion-savvy students compliment one another's outfits.

How I found this out: I walked onto campus and was not assaulted by the Cult of Blue Polos.

IF YOU'RE A HIPSTER...

At Interlochen: EVERYONE is a hipster, or some facsimile, so good luck standing out. It's not enough to just be a hipster. You have to be truly unique. (Like the Dead Poets...le wink...)

At college: Mention Dakota Skye, and people will think you're talking about your hometown. Say your favorite band is "The Almost," and people will reply, "Almost what?" Here, if you want to stand out, it's not exactly easier--consider the fact that there are over 15oo kids here, for starters--but it's not like Interlochen, where everyone is out of the mainstream.

How I found this out: Walk into class wearing a pencil skirt, white blouse, pearls, and cloche hat, and you will get weird looks. It's a fact. (No, I totally didn't do this the first day of classes, what are you talking about?!)

IF YOU DRINK...

At Interlochen: You will get suspended. And possibly expelled. So if you do it, you'd bloody well better hide that habit as best as you can, unless you'd like a very unpleasant conversation with J-Wes.

At college: You're normal. Well, somewhat normal, anyway. It's not as bad as everyone makes it out to be--people are sober in class, for the first week at least--but the college does acknowledge that it happens and makes it very clear that while what you do off-campus is your decision, but if a dorm says substance-free it should stay substance-free.

How I found this out: During Orientation Week, we had an event called "Happy Hour with Mike Green," where an ex-alcoholic came and talked to us about safe drinking. Confused? So was I...for the first few minutes, anyway. And then I laughed my ass off. This guy is amazing. Seriously--it was not your average safe-drinking lecture.

On the whole, yes, it's true that college is considerably freer than Interlochen. Here we are truly given the opportunity to be ourselves. Here, we are not forced into any role, artistic or otherwise. Here, you decide who you will be--and how to live with the consequences of your decisions. I pray that Interlochen has given me the decision-making skills to thrive in a place like this, where we are held accountable from day one. I don't know yet. Only time will tell.

It's going to be an exciting four years...

OH OH OH. Before I sign off, I have to announce something very important: He's A Rockstar has been accepted to the Great Lakes International Film Festival!!!!!!!!!! (I'd keep going with the exclamation points, but it's just not that professional.) This is my first-ever film festival acceptance, and I cannot tell you how excited I am to FINALLY get my film out there for all the non-Interlochenites to see! :D

So, you really should see this film festival, if at all possible--it's in Erie, PA, September 23-24. Now, here's the cool thing about it: You don't actually have to go to the film festival in-person to see the films. GLIFF offers a special online program where you can see the films WITHOUT GOING TO THE FESTIVAL, from September 22 to October 1! HOW COOL IS THAT?

Here's the link to the He's A Rockstar Facebook page, which will tell you all you need to know, including a link to the GLIFF official site, with more info on the streaming-online thing:

He's A Rockstar

Please for the love of all that's good and holy, check it out..."like" it...log onto GLIFF on September 22 and watch it! YOU WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED!

And now that my shameless self-advertising is over, may I present the...

~STOLEN DIALOGUE~

"Not only am I homicidal, I'm...what's another 'idal?'...I'm...AMERICAN IDOL!"

Person one: I stand by what I said earlier in the year: as his roommate, how did you not just laugh your ass off all the time?

Person two: Well...once it fell off, there wasn't much I could do about it.

Person one: Where the hell did this rubber duck come from? Seriously, I don't remember where I got this!

Person two: Hmm...Rubber Duck Fairy?

"That's one place where you have to do a little cost-benefit analysis with the old dead limb metaphor...I swear to God I didn't realize how weird that sentence was until AFTER I said it..."

"If you made Kim Kardashian memorize the ingredients of peanut butter, it would make up about half of what she knows now."

Person one (seeing a group of unsavory-looking men): Oh yeah, these are the guys I want to party with tonight!

Person two: You probably will...

Person one: I got us the Motor Coach package! I don't know what that is, but...

Person two: What? You got us the Horticulture Package?

"I have no idea what this conversation is about...but I know it's inappropriate."

Person one: Just for the record, I've been running back and forth getting French toast this whole time.

Person two: So how you've managed to interrupt the conversation twelve times is a feat!

"You could just write an essay about that, with the title, 'Why I Can't Put My Parents' Conversation About Douching On My Blog.'"

"It's not like I'll be taking attendance, like, 'Damn you, you have no ice cream!'"

"Everyone should know how to make a risotto? Bite me!"

"My daughter asked me if childbirth hurt, and I had to try really hard--I just barely kept myself from saying, 'Like a motherf**ker.'"

Person one: They asked me what color I wanted my wedding shoes to be, and I said white. And then they asked, "Well, do you want bone, cream, or eggshell?" And to me, those all come under the heading of "white."

Person two: Bone? Is that even a color?

Person two: Well, according to the shoe salespeople, it is.

"If I'm lying on a table with my feet in the air and something between my legs, that to me just says 'Gynecological exam'--everyone's favorite day of the year, right?"

"The health center will diagnose you pregnant. Even you, Sean."

"Walking? Whose freakin' brilliant idea was that?"

"I started having over-the-internet ice cream lust."

"Today we'll go over the syllabus and talk about media literacy...but first, I will perform the ceremonial butchering of everybody's names..."

"You know what sitting in the front says to me? It says, 'I am engaged! I am willing to learn from this crazy bastard!'"

Look How Far We've Come...

Last summer, before entering my senior year, I wrote a post about how I felt before and after high school...without actually having left high school. Good going, Beatnik Belle. So I realized when I sat down to write this post that I had already said much of what I wanted to say, about how I've changed and how I've seen things changing around me. So what the hell am I supposed to write about?

I remember back at the beginning of the school year, how excited I was to be a senior until I realized that roughly 70% of my friends had scattered off to college. As I told my friend Miles, an underclassman, "The first week you come back, you'll miss everyone and you won't want to talk to any of the newbies; you'll just cling to the people you know. The second week, you'll start to make new friends and start to forget the graduates, and by the third week you'll have a whole new crew of people who you love as much as, if not more than, the people who left." That's so true--but now I'm worried that my underclassman friends will forget me, just like I was worried that my graduating friends would forget me last year. (For the record, they didn't. Not the truly amazing ones, anyway--you know who you are. <3)

Interlochen underclassmen, if any of you read this, here is something that you need to know, right now, depressing as it is: You will not retain every single friend you make at this school. Out of everyone you meet here, there will perhaps be a few people--a few really amazing people--who you will be friends with after you graduate or after they graduate. But here's the good news: After awhile, you won't miss them as much, because the people you really love will be the ones who stick with you, and who you will want to stick with. (Yes, I KNOW that sentence was not grammatically correct. Give me a break, I'm trying to pack, burn DVDs, write letters, and blog all at the same time here.)

There are people at this school who I love, there are people who I like, people who I dislike, people who I couldn't live without, and people who I wish would fall into the nearest active volcano. I will remember them all--but who knows how many will actually stay in contact? Only time will tell...but I've got a feeling I know who I will never let go.

And the amazing thing is...I graduated yesterday. I actually graduated high school yesterday. Wow. Isn't this where I'm supposed to freak out about college and growing up and leaving home and getting a job? Because that hasn't happened yet...

I expected that I'd spend the entire day crying my eyes out. Didn't happen. I teared up a bit during the ceremony--one of the advantages of being at the back of the alphabet is that you get to watch all your friends get their diplomas first--but other than that my eyes stayed dry. For the most part, I was just freaking happy. I don't think I stopped smiling the entire day, even when I got teary-eyed during the commencement ceremony...I was just like, "Holy crap, I actually did it!" the entire day. I took about a thousand pictures. Didn't get a picture with everyone, unfortunately, but most of the friends I didn't get pictures with I already have pictures of (just pretend that sentence made sense, ok?), so that's not a tragedy. The important thing is, I have pictures of my best friends (you know who you are, and if you don't, you'll figure it out really fast...), so I'm good.

I spent the last night before graduation pretty much freaking the f-word out. I didn't get recognized in any way during Honors Convocation, so I wasn't too happy about that, and I freaked out over that, but recovered pretty quickly and went to the reception--for all of about five minutes--with Isaac and Morgan. My entire family had come up to see Festival, but they left after Convocation so I could spend one more night with my friends. There was a dance, which we ended up not going to; instead we shot the last scene of What's Left of You (thank you, Alex and Annie!) and then spent the half-hour or so before sign-in writing "Vive la résistance!" in rocks on the Osterlin mall...which was pretty epic...and then I went and cleaned the lobby in DeRoy. Fun.

Graduation day, I woke up at too-freakin'-early 0'clock to shower, do my hair, pack, and get everything ready before lining up in the concourse at 9:05 (of course I was late), so we could process at 9:30. It didn't feel like I was graduating; it felt like a dress rehearsal. It was only when my aunt popped out and started taking rolls of pictures that I realized, "Holy crap, this is real!"

I had Pomp and Circumstance stuck in my head for the remainder of the day, but other than that, graduation was epic. Like I said, I took about a few thousand photos, then I went and had lunch with my family (no more Stone food = HELL YEAH). After that it was off to my room to finish packing, with the assistance of my aunt, cousin, and parents (sorry guys), and THEN it was time to go home.

I posted on FaceBook today, "'Isn't it so weird to be home?' Well, no, it's not being home that's weird, it's knowing that I'm not going back to Interlochen when I leave." And that pretty much sums it up. This fall I'm going to McDaniel, and who knows what'll happen there?

There are some truly incredible people who I have to thank right now, for the amazing experiences I have had this year and for their help in making my last year of high school my best, and there are some senior year stories that I'd like to share with you. This is going to be another extremely personal (and probably waaay too long) blog post...so please bear with me, I promise the next one will be more fun, upbeat, and contain more stolen dialogue and Ben Busch quotes.

First off...my amazing parents. Mom and Dad...Wow. Wow, wow, wow. You did it. You let me go, you let me grow up. I know it's been hard on you guys for the last couple of years, with me getting progressively closer to adulthood, but you have held up so well. You were there with me every step of the way, helping with college apps and SAT prep, showing me new ways to get where I needed to go, and providing much-needed kicks in the butt every now and then. I love you so much and can't wait to spend the summer with you. Thank you, a million times, for everything you have done for me, both for these last two years and my entire life. <3

My best friend, Isaac...Yes, I know I say this way too much, but I honestly don't know how I would have made it through the year without you. Whether it was physics homework, unnecessary drama, Dead Poet stunts or a film shoot, you were right there every time I needed you. Thank you so much for being there for me all year, you have no idea how grateful I am for your friendship.

Travis...Oh my God. Oh my freaking God, where would I be without you? To say that you kicked ass this year would be an understatement of breathtaking proportions. You made my senior thesis brilliant and gave me a long-overdue wake-up call. You gave me a chance that I would not have had otherwise. Most importantly you were my friend, you were not just a collaborator who disappeared as soon as the shoot was over. Thank you so much for your time and your friendship, you made my senior year ten times better than it would have been.

Elizabeth...Holy crud muffins, it can't be the end of our amazing reign as Hottest Roommates already! I have never had a roommate like you before. No one has ever challenged me, confronted me, made me think as much as you have. With someone as blunt--but well-meaning and kind--as you as my roommate, I couldn't wallow--thank you for not enabling me. You have made me a stronger person, I have learned so much from you, and I will miss you like crazy next year. Thank you for being a great roommate and, more importantly, a great friend. <3

Mishka and Gustavo...Holy crud muffins, I love you both more than you can imagine. I was so afraid that I wouldn't see you back here for senior year--I have never been so happy to be wrong in all my life. You were the first true friends I made at IAA and I will never forget meeting you at that bonfire (talking about playwriting with Gus and stupid American boys with Mishka). I love our craziness and our adventures, but more importantly I love how close we are, how we can be insane with each other and not worry about image. Thank you for teaching me how to embrace my inner starving artist. VIVE LA RESISTANCE! <3

Morgan...You came just in the nick of time. Second-semester Physics would have trampled me had you not been there to remind me to lighten the f#$% up. Our inside joke list just keeps growing ("It takes less energy to jump over a two-meter hurdle...") and I want to keep it that way. Thank you for showing up when you did, for being an amazing friend, and for being the brilliant, hilarious person that you are. And when your hardest classes get you down next year, just remember...FMGWAC! ;)

Jamie...Yeah, it's me again. You keep saying you didn't do much--you don't know how untrue that is. You gave me a chance this year even after seeing me screw up last year. You saved my ass multiple times on both my junior and senior thesis shoots. You have no idea how much I look up to you. I have so much respect for you as both an MPA and a person. Thank you for all of your help this year, and keep up the amazingness at Arts Center and wherever you go from there.

Emily H-C...I didn't know you last year, and it turns out that I was really missing out. If there is a person who embodies "Vive la resistance," it's you. You are an individual. You are your own person and have no time for anyone who doesn't appreciate that. I will miss your wit, your perspective, and your bow ties. Thank you for letting me be one of your many partners-in-crime this year...and please, for the love of all that's holy, keep up that resistance!

Thomas...Wow. Holy crud muffins, OMG, Jesus H. Christ, all those other lovely things I say when I can't believe something's happening...and this time I can't believe how incredibly close we became in such a short period of time. Every single moment was epic--from Halloween to Holiday Dinner to MORP, from our college app nights to random dinner conversations to those nighttime walks with the Death Trap. Have fun in college, my spirit twin, I will miss you. <3

Miles...You are definitely my favorite caucasian MPA freshman day student. You were a brilliant art director and more importantly a brilliant friend. You listened to my tearful rants and were amazingly patient with both my crazy family and my incessant need for picture-taking (how many photos of you do I have now, exactly?), you knew what to say and when to say it and when to just shut up and let me whine. Thank you for being there when I needed you, and for helping to make my senior thesis beautiful.

Sheridan, Erin, Siddhartha, Harry, and Rowen...The most incredible cast I could have asked for. I loved working with you all so much and I'm so happy that we "clicked" the way we did. It was a weird, random cast (four theater majors and an MPA? whoa...) but we made it work, and I am so glad we did. Thank you so much, all of you, for doing such an amazing job and making my movie memorable.

Dani, Rachel, and Preston...Thank you for the music, the weirdness, the inside jokes, the randomness, the epicness, the smiles/laughs/awkward nervous giggles, and the overall awesomeness. I feel so lucky to have known and worked with you, thank you so much for sharing your talents and giving my film the "kick" it needed from your music.

Danny Daneau and Andy Hiss, my editing/directing teachers...There were so many times I felt like giving up this year. No, I was beyond giving up. I was at the just-throw-this-f**ker-in-the-trash phase with my thesis at multiple stages--you wouldn't let me do it. You said, "No, you're going to finish this film, and it is going to be amazing." From the first time I brought in my idea to the first screening, you were right there behind me, giving me that "What do you think you're doing?" look when I turned around, ready to give up. Thank you for not letting me stop until I succeeded.

Aaron...MPA Trifecta, indeed. When I tagged along you were always there to let me in. When I needed a production designer you were the first--and only--volunteer. When I screwed up, got kicked out of a production, needed a shoulder to cry on, needed a job to do, wanted out, wanted to leave the department, you were there with a hug and some distracting wordplay. Thank you for being my friend, colleague, and classmate...and for just being an amazing person.

Alex and Annie...I needed actors and you jumped at the chance. What's Left of You was an underground production with no budget, no backing, no assistance of any kind; any other actor would have given me a "What are you, on crack?" look, but not you two. You said, "When can we start?" Right up until the very last night of school--we shot the night before we graduated, for Pete's sake!--you were there, you were ready. Thank you so much for being part of my production, I literally could not have done it without you.

Mary-Carole...You are definitely much more than a study-party mate. Video games, fanfiction, watercolors, ranting, food service stalling, randomness, dance workout mocking...there was never a dull moment when we were hanging out. This year would have been incredibly boring without our chill-out sessions in DeRoy. Thanks for spicing up my year, I'm going to miss our dorm parties. Have fun next year starting your own resistance! :)

Krista T., my fellow Michigander...Every dance with you was my favorite, from the 90s dance to MORP. I have to say, you voice majors certainly know how to party ;) I'm incredibly lucky to have a friend like you, someone who knows how to have fun, someone who is up for anything (someone who didn't rat certain resistance members for their random activities...). You made my senior year special. I will miss you so much next year. YOU BETTER COME OVER THIS SUMMER, MISSY. <3

Finally, every single one of my friends from this year and last year--Leyla F., Keaton M., Connor E., Ethan C., Jeff K., Sarah B. and Anne C. (my suitemates!!), Josh A., Seneca S., Tressa G., Mick S., Theo E., Sam K., Michael M., Jess N., Danny R., Kylie C., Hannah F., Ruth and Rachel, Emily D., Sarah P., Mike H., Heidi and Camille, Wisty A., Ellie G., Mida C., Marco Z., Gus P., Johnny S., Ariel F., Lena J., Kelly C., Niki A., Colin C., Bonnie B., Annie G., Nic W., Geoffrey W., Pippa A., Rigo E., Nicole A., Zac C., Andrew W., and Julia H.; and anyone else who I may have (unintentionally) forgotten. I love you all and I will miss you so much, thank you for making my Interlochen experience incredible and memorable.

I've been home now for over 24 hours. I have cuddled with my parents (yes, I KNOW I'm technically too old to do that, but screw it, I might be a legal adult but I'm still their kid), gone grocery shopping, watched an amazing movie called Get Low (which everyone should see because it's brilliant), gone photo-crazy on FaceBook, gone through some McDaniel College stuff, gotten some mail, laughed hysterically over a friend's first-ever FaceBook status (because that's what you do when you love someone), edited some of my movie, done some laundry, and made another unsuccessful attempt to burn DVDs. (As always, it's Technology: 100, Beatnik Belle: 0. But it WILL happen. I swear, I WILL make those stupid DVDs work.)

And I've also made an executive decision concerning my blog, which includes good news and bad news.

The bad news: I will not start another blog now that I've graduated.

...

...

...

The good news?

I'm continuing this one.

Why? Here's why: In plain English, I freaking love this blog. I'm not ready to sever my connection to Interlochen yet--flawed as it is, it's still one of the places I've come from and I don't care how many bumps I've run over along the way, I'm proud of that. And who knows, maybe in a few decades, I'll be sending my kids to Interlochen...who could tell? The point is, I'm not letting go of The Bubble just yet. I'm just not ready. And so, Alien Water Torture will continue.

Here's what this means, though--I'm going to get a bit more serious in terms of what I post. I'm going to start putting myself out here, because, hey, I've got people in freaking China following this blog, why not use that to my advantage. I can use this blog to promote the films I've made, the films and music my friends have made, the amazing artists I know (hence the Artist as Badass posts that ARE going to continue *crosses fingers*), and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

So hold on, AWT readers. We're going for a wild ride. I'm going to freaking college! I'm going into the world, and I'm taking you with me.

VIVE LA RÉSISTANCE!

Passing the time by breaking apart

I'd be lying to you if I said I enjoy growing up. Well actually, I'd be lying by omission. I like the new experiences (boarding school, driving on the highway, going on bigger and better carnival rides, first kisses, Prom, making real movies, living away from home, ect.) but the painful parts I can deal without (losing friends, getting wisdom teeth--OUCH!!!--SATs, college applications, arguments with parents, ect.).

Recently I was looking up colleges with Mom, trying to find backups in case I don't get into any of my first-choice schools. It hit me somewhere along the line that this IS my last year of high school...HOLY SHIT!!!! And with that came the realization that I'm NOT going to live at home after next summer. No more trick-or-treating, apple orchard visits, Halloween-costume-making sessions, help with math homework from Dad or help with English homework from Mom.

I'm home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, so our holiday traditions won't change--at least, not for now--but being away, first at boarding school and then at college, means I'm not home to make a cake on Mom's birthday (it's in October) or help Dad "winterize" our pool at the end of summer or "reopen" it in springtime. It means that I miss things that I ordinarily wouldn't miss--Mom nagging me to do my math homework, Dad asking me for help with his sailboat (I am NOT a boat person!), as well as little things like the young kids riding up and down my street on their bicycles and scooters, dogs barking in the middle of the night, or the view of the sunset from my bedroom window.

I remember two years ago, going into high school for my sophomore year. I was only fifteen and had never been to school before--yup, that means NO SCHOOL at all, except online classes and snail-mail classes. I remember walking through the school and thinking, "This is it. I'll be here for three years now, in this big, wild school, with a thousand other kids and a bunch of teachers, some of which I'll like and some of which I'll hate. I'll graduate from this school, with the friends that I'll (hopefully) make."

Instead, I'll be graduating from Interlochen Arts Academy next year. I thought that by the time I graduated high school I'd be pretty and popular and perfect...yeah, THAT happened. I thought that I would be top of my class with a perfect 4.0 GPA and epic SAT scores...instead I'm going to have to really work my ass off to get into a decent college. I thought that I'd know exactly what I want to do with my life and exactly where I want to go...but all I know is that somehow, someday, I WILL be a known filmmaker.

It's a strange thought that someone who is reading this blog at the moment might someday be in line, buying tickets at a movie theatre, for a movie that I've directed. It's a strange thought that someday, I will be at a bookstore and see a book written by someone I went to school with. It's strange to think that someday, I will take my kids to a play and the first-billed name on the program will be one of my close friends.

...Then again, maybe not. Who knows?

This is my "Before and After" blog post. This is where I remember what I was like before high school and compare it to what I am like now...and prompt anyone who follows or reads or, hell, even just happens to stumble across this blog to do the same.



BEFORE HS: I would leave reviews for my favorite products on Amazon.com, which back then, I am sad to say, included--give me a break, I was 13!--Kidz Bop, Hilary Duff, Jesse McCartney, and (this one is less embarrassing) 3 Doors Down. There was a reviewer called "Squash-n-Squeak" with whom I would occassionally get into tiffs over music. Our biggest fights were over Kidz Bop and Green Day, who to this day I'm still not too fond of. I pretended not to care when SnS said stuff like, "I saw the review by "Dizzy Miss Lizzy" (that was my screenname), I looked at your other reviews and saw the one you wrote for Green Day. Let me just say, you wrote that review with no idea of what you were talking about" and (this one is a direct quote), "To the reviewer that goes by Dizzy Miss Lizzy: Stop buying this garbage. Can't you see that you're just helping these evil corporate f**ks get richer and richer? Wake up, and stop supporting this garbage. And since I'm here, stop supporting all the CRAP that you listen to." However much I pretended not to care, the truth was, it actually kind of--okay, really--hurt that someone I didn't even know was judging me based on the music I listened to.

AFTER HS: Simply put, I don't give a crap. If some dirtbrain wants to trash the bands I listen to (which, for the record, no longer contain Kidz Bop or Jesse McCartney), let them. It's their opinion and they're entitled to it. Now, if you trash ME, whether to my face or online, I will defend myself. But it doesn't matter so much now as it does when I was thirteen and actually gave a damn whether some online creep liked me or not.


BEFORE HS: I wanted to be a popstar. No joke. I wanted to act and sing, I idolized girls like JoJo and Hayden Panettiere. I wrote song lyrics (which I still do, from time to time, mind you) and bought myself an acoustic guitar. I learned to dance via a Jump5 how-to video. I took acting classes and constantly videotaped myself. I actually thought that if my 'mean old parents' would just let me TRY, I could do just what those girls on TV did.

AFTER HS: I'd rather be behind the camera than in front of it. (I think we've established this already.) Being a popstar doesn't look so great when you know the truth about what goes on in Hollywood. I still love music--I still have my guitar, still write song lyrics, still spend hours listening to my favorite bands--but I don't want to be a performer anymore; I want to be the person who designs the shows.


BEFORE HS: I was a boy-crazy geek. No joke. Not only that, but I was horribly obvious and usually scared off the boys I liked with my God-awful attempts at flirting. I averaged about 3-4 new crushes per month and usually found a new boy to like before I was over the first.

AFTER HS: I'd be lying if I said I didn't check out cute crushes constantly (wow, lot of Cs there, lol) but I'm not quite the obvious idiot that I was at 13. My new policy is, look but don't act, unles you're SURE that it's worth it. (My sophomore year really helped me here...that was the year of the dreaded, terrifying FIRST KISS, as well as the first time I realized that, contrary to popular belief, Homecoming is NOT magical like it is on TV.)


BEFORE HS: I had it all figured out. I was going to be a star performer/actor, with a huge Hollywood mansion, tons of amazing starlet friends, and a perfect Hollywood actor/chart-topping musician for a husband (first choice was Daniel Radcliffe, followed closely by Jesse McCartney). But first I was going to go to Columbia College Chicago and learn to act. And before that, I was going to graduate high school in three years instead of four, via online school.

AFTER HS: I have no f#$%ing clue anymore. All I know is that I want to be in film. I want to direct, I want to design, I want to write. I don't know if I'll be in the college of my choice, but I do know that it will NOT be Columbia Chicago, or any art school for that matter...I'll trust my mom, apply to liberal art schools, and go to art school for grad school. Sound good?

P.S.--I am absolutely positive that I will not marry Dan Radcliffe. I'm just saying.


BEFORE HS: I was a sheltered, homeschooled geek who idolized her parents, was best friends with a girl who was three years her senior, scared easily, and hated Shakespeare.

AFTER HS: I'm an art-school-attending geek who still loves her parents but knows they're not perfect, is best friends with a girl who is a year OLDER than her, doesn't scare quite as easily, and not only likes Shakespeare, but also likes Charles Dickens, Alexander Dumas, and Jack Kerouac.


IN 2006, THE YEAR BEFORE THE CLASS OF 2011 STARTED HIGH SCHOOL...

...There was no Harry Potter theme park, and we still didn't know whether or not Harry would survive the last battle with Voldemort.

...The entire western world was not obsessed with Twilight; Stephanie Meyer was not yet a household name.

...Hannah Montana was just another TV show on the Disney Channel.

...The Jonas Brothers were a virtually obscure opening act, judging by the "stub" article they once had on Wikipedia.

...Avril Lavigne was still a tough cookie--she might've matured a bit, but she didn't have pink hair or have backup dancers.

...Michael Jackson, Anna Nicole Smith, Richard Jeni, Evel Knievel, Heath Ledger, Bea Arthur, John Hughes, and Patrick Swayze were still alive.

...There were no iPhones; you had to contend with regular old cell phones.

...High School Musical ruled Disney Channel; there was no Camp Rock and so Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron were the top Disney actors, instead of Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato.

...Kim Possible was still airing new episodes.

...YouTube was only a year old, as of February.

...The "Samantha Parkington" doll and books were still part of the American Girls Collection and hadn't yet been put into the American Girl Archives.


YOU KNOW YOU'RE A MEMBER OF THE CLASS OF 2011 IF...

...The Jonas Brothers, High School Musical, Zoey 101, and Hannah Montana were the most popular celebrities/media in your freshman year.

...You remember when Gossip Girl, Kitchen Nightmares, and iCarly premiered.

...You panicked when word got around that a nationwide law might prevent kids from driving unaccompanied until age 17.

...You have ever been to a "Snakes on a Plane party," or you know someone who has.

...Your sophomore and junior years of high school were spent A) playing field marshal between Team Jacob and Team Edward, B) fighting in the Team Jacob/Team Edward battle yourself, C) playing marshal between the Twilighters and the Twilight-haters, or D) fighting in the Twilighter/Twilight-hater battle yourself.

...You were young enough to watch the last Hauntober Fest on Disney Channel, but old enough to pretend to your friends that you didn't.

...The transition from Bush to Obama was the first time you were aware of a new President and the significant effect he had on the country...but at the same time you knew you'd miss Bush because he was so epically funny.

...By the time the final Harry Potter book was released, you were old enough to attend the release party without parental accompaniment.

...You remember the good old days before Hot Topic was taken over by Justin Beiber and the Twilight franchise.

...You were jealous of the freshmen who were allowed to go to Homecoming without older dates; YOU couldn't do that as a freshman.

...You were insulted if someone called you a "freshie," but the minute you turned sophomore you did it to the freshmen yourself.

...You are part of the "New Batman" generation, a.k.a. those whose Batman experiences were marked by Batman Begins and The Dark Knight instead of Tim Burton's Batman films or the 60s Batman series and film.

...You have ever been part of a "Hannah Montana Traffic Jam." For those who don't know, a HMTJ occurs when you try to pass by a concert venue but can't because the road is locked up with cars, all because Hannah Montana is playing and the venue you are trying to pass is packed with people--only not yet, because they are all in the cars blocking YOU while they try to get into the venue parking lot early.

...Speaking of Hannah Montana, you witnessed her rise to fame, along with the Jonas Brothers, High School Musical, Camp Rock, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato.

...You are either a Justin Bieber fan or you hate those who are.

...You grew up watching Rolie Polie Olie, Bear in the Big Blue House, Dragon Tales, Blue's Clues, Arthur, Cyberchase, and The Magic School Bus, instead of Mr. Rogers or Sesame Street (but maybe you watched that too) or the ridiculous shows that Playhouse Disney and Nick Jr. air for kids today.

...At the time, you were just barely old enough to understand events like the Columbine killings and 9/11. But now you know that you will never, ever forget those events.


STOLEN DIALOGUE

Person one (father): Do you want to borrow my socks?
Person two (daughter): No! I don't wear old-man socks!
Person one: "Old man socks?" Hey, they didn't find me, okay? They weren't walking around going, "Now where's that old man whose feet we're supposed to go on?" It's not like, "We're looking for some old man feet here!"

Person one: Are these tapes HD?
Person two: Yeah.
Person one: Are you sure?
Person three: No, they’re not HD. They’re magical, and when you put them into the camera it glows bright blue and a unicorn comes up and hugs you. Of course it’s HD, put it in the damn camera.

Person one: Just say "Go f**k yourself."
Person two: I don't think you need to tell him that. He probably already does.
Person one: AHHHHH! Bad mental image! Bad bad bad bad BAD mental image!

Person one: Sandwich!
Person two: Could you be any more random?
Person one: That was NOT random. I was happy about eating the sandwich, so I said "sandwich."

Person one: Macs are great, PCs pretty much suck.
Person two: PCs do NOT suck, they work just fine!
Person one: Okay...how long does your computer take to start up? Fourteen minutes?
Person two: Six--at most!
Person one(shocked): Wow...I was exaggerating at the fourteen minutes thing...wow...just...wow.
Person two: Oh yeah? Well how long does YOURS take to start up, wise guy?
Person one: ...Fifteen seconds.

Person one: Hey mom, I'm going to the movies tomorrow with Charles.
Person two: Who's that? Is he gay?
Person one: No...
Person two: DARN IT!

Person one: I am freezing my ass off.
Person two: Dude, you don’t HAVE an ass.

[while watching Tokio Hotel in the lounge]
Person one: So who would you sneak into a hotel room with after a concert, provided you ever got into that situation?
Person two: I’d want Tom.
Person one: No way. I think I’d want…Gustav. Yeah. The cute quiet one.
Person three: Um…I don’t know. I’m kinda torn between Georg and Bill.
Person one: Well, think of it this way, whose baby would you rather have?
[While P3 considering this, another person—a guy—walks into the room]
Person three [greeting him]: Sean!
Person two: You’d have SEAN'S baby?!

Person one: Cullen, you're from Mississippi, do you have any idea why teen pregnancy and obesity rates are so high?
Person two: It's because all we do is eat and have sex.