My Summer To-Do List

First off, a MILLION apologies to Jeff--if I'd had my way this would've been up the second I got up this morning. Thanks to a combination of technical difficulties, household chore interference, and simple bad luck, that didn't happen. But the post is here now so we can all be friends again...right?

So it's summer vacation! HELLZ YEAH! *fakes enthusiasm* Okay. Now, please everyone, promise not to call for the men in white coats, but...I'm actually not too psyched about summer break. Why not, you may ask? Well, three reasons: 1) I'm bored as hell; there is literally nothing to do here during the day except write, IM, and unpack (yes, STILL). And the nightlife is practically nonexistent--that just consists of walking around town, seeing crap movies at the local theater, or a library lock-in. 2) All of my friends are Interlochenites or have moved out-of-state, so I am stuck--really, truly stuck--in the company of adults 24/7. 3) I'm so psyched for senior year! C'mon--no math, chilling all year with Mr. Nadji (yes, I AM planning to take Physics and I feel a lot more comfortable knowing ahead of time that I'll have a good teacher), SENIOR THESIS, being on the Welcome Wagon--who WOULDN'T be excited?

So, keeping all that in mind, I have compiled a summer to-do list so that I won't go batshit insane and actually NEED those men in white coats by July.


1. Get those two treatments done
All MPAs should know this one. You know how Michael assigned us two full treatments by the time we're back from break? Well, I want mine solid before we go back. No more yearlong battles with teachers and thesis advisors for me! In fact, because I don't actually have that much else to do (shocking, right?), I might actually start the scripts, too...

2. Get a summer job!
Don't laugh--I actually WANT a summer job. At Hot Topic. Yes, I am just that weird. But legit, nobody except retail or restaurants will hire anyone under the age of eighteen. So, I figure, if I have to have a job, why not at least have fun with it? Besides, where else can I work that will allow me to wear my dad's old band t-shirts? ;)

3. See as many indie films as possible
Seriously, indie film is officially my life. From my old fave, Elephant, to the latest gem that my parents presented to me via Netflix, Killer Diller, a lot of the best films I've ever seen were independent. Now, for those of you who are not film geeks like me, I just want to set one thing straight: INDIE and MUMBLECORE are two different things, okay? Do not mistake "Indie" for "no music, no plot, just dialogue and totally unknown actors and bad sound/film equipment." That is MUMBLECORE, folks. And I should know, I just studied it in class (and nearly died of boredom in the process).

4. See other, non-Indie films
...Like Toy Story 3, The Last Airbender, and Eclipse. Yes, I am going to see the third Twilight film, and no, it is NOT because I have a crush on Robert Pattinson, because I DON'T. Nor do I have a crush on Kristen Stewart (although I do think she is a fairly good actress). REREAD THAT FIVE TIMES, DAN. The reason I am seeing Eclipse is because 1) I think the casting is genius, and 2) I think that deep down I AM a Twilighter, I just refuse to admit it because it isn't "cool." But then again, neither is listening to Michael Jackson, wearing my dad's band tees, or shopping at Land's End. So...screw it, I like Twilight.

5. Dance like crazy!
Okay, this is another geeky one. But I love, love, LOVE dancing, and this is why: When I was little my dad used to put on his oldies albums and dance with me (I mean, like, REALLY freakin' little, like one or two years old), and that just became our thing over the years. So, I am going back to basics. No more grinding with my buddies in Fine Arts, listening to whatever tacky (and I mean that in the best possible way!) Girl Talk remix that the Interlochen DJ throws out for that night. No flashing lights, pretty outfits, hours styling my hair or doing my makeup. Just me and my dad (and the Who or Bruce Springsteen or Meat Loaf) in the living room, in our pajamas, at one A.M..

6. Drive EVERYWHERE
The plan: Get my license the SECOND I turn eighteen. The strategy: Practice every day this summer, study for the driving tests, and get the license on the first day of thanksgiving break, a.k.a. right after my eighteenth birthday. The obstacle: I am one of the most awkward drivers in the history of teenage driving. I am the opposite of my father; instead of speeding, I fight to get up to the speed limit. I am so afraid of breaking driving laws that I inadvertently break them in my attempt to NOT break them. So hopefully I'll get over that this summer.

7. READ!!!!!!!!
I plan to go banananuts with the books this summer. I didn't have nearly enough time to read in the school year. At the top of my must-read list:
--The Novel - I never finished this book, but I want to. It's GOOD. No joke.
--The 1-800-WHERE-R-U series by Meg Cabot, one of my favorite writers.
--Anything by Gail Carson Levine.
--Hamlet--not the watered-down, Shakespeare-for-Idiots version, but the REAL THING.
And that's just the beginning...

8. Relearn piano
I love music and I miss playing piano. 'Nuff said.


So that is my anti-boredom plan. Maybe not the most interesting, worldly plan on earth, but if nothing else it should be fun to watch. (Sorry, another inside joke with my dad...)


STOLEN DIALOGUE - CAR EDITION
(This stolen dialogue all takes place within the confines of a motor vehicle. The only question is, how have none of the drivers who took place in this dialogue gotten into a wreck from laughing so hard they can't see the road?)

Person one (joking): Just run this guy over.
Person two: No! He has a family!
Person one: No, he has that hat. If he had a family, they wouldn't buy him that hat or allow him to wear it.

Person one: Whenever she gets behind the wheel, she has this evil scientist laugh.
Person two (imitating the person whom person one is referring two): "Hee hee, I'm going to kill both of these hopeless bastards!"

(after getting distracted by a deer and nearly running off the road; Person two is driving and Person three is sitting on the passenger side--the side that came closest to hitting the mailbox)
Person one: You should've seen those deers--they were so cute, eating that landscape, they were just chowing down!
Person two: Oh, believe me, you don't have to tell me about the deer! I'm well aware of it! I saw it! And as a result I almost hit some poor asshole's mailbox!
Person three: Oh, believve me, you don't have to tell me that you almost hit the mailbox! I'm well aware of it!

Person one: I swear on all things good and holy, if you don't shut up I'll--
Person two: "Good and holy?" Honey, there is nothing good OR holy inside this car.

(While taking the long way home)
Person one: Why the hell are we on this road?
Person two: Hey, you're the one who said you'd like for her to have new driving experiences.
Person two: I'd like to get home!
Person one: Well, it's better out here! There's less stuff for her to hit!

(Person one just accidentally leaned on the horn while getting out of the car)
Person one: I have no comment.
Person two: Thank God somebody doesn't.

"My hair has more cowlicks than a dude ranch!"

(While sitting behind a bus, during a traffic jam)
"Why the hell are we parked behind this bus? Parking behind a bus isn't really my idea of a pleasant experience."

Person one: So she kept playing that damn Gavin DeGraw CD over and over! I swear, this guy - Gavin DeGraw - is one of the whinest - worse than the guy from 3 Doors Down -
Person two: Brad Arnold? Oh yeah, he IS the whiniest singer ever.
Person one: Oh, you haven't - no, seriously, I ahve to play you Gavin DeGraw, you think Brad Arnold whines, you haven't heard Gavin DeGraw.
Person two: If my name was 'Gavin DeGraw,' I'd whine too.

(looking at an advertisement for a haunted house, featuring a skeleton)
"$5 off? $5 off what, the skeleton? No, I think I'll leave the skeleton alone, thanks."