So this is going to be another writing collection post...nothing's really happening around here at the moment, so unless you want to hear about how I FINALLY nailed that one tricky dance from my Jump5 dancercise video, this is what we've got to work with.
~Girl in the Back~
(poem...and this one is fairly old...excuse the awkward rhymes)
I am lost in the middle of the crowd
Can't hear my own voice it's too damn loud
No one thinks I'm worth talking to
And once again I'm stuck here without a clue
Thought I had friends but they're ignoring me
Guess I was wrong when I said I had everything
I'm the useless piece of paper at the bottom of the stack
No one wants to deal with the girl in the back
Five months to go and I just want to get out
Go home, where I've got nothing to cry about
I'll run back to Daddy; be my mama's little girl
I'm happiest in my private corner of the world
Thought I had it all, but they turned into jerks
Could be lonely instead of angry, I guess that works
Wish I could be fearless but my armor has a crack
I know I can't be the only girl in the back
Some day they'll see they can't ignore me anymore
And then they'll wonder why they didn't see me before
Someday I'll come out and be the leader of the pack
But for now, I'm content to be the girl in the back
You can ignore me all you want but I'll never care
I'm going to be somebody, I'm going to get somewhere
And when you're working in McDonald's--or worse
I'll be in the sky, riding a wave of colored starbursts
~After Hours~
(poem written my sophomore year)
I used to live life on my own time
Now I'm stuck in a living nightmare
No time to myself, every minute has to count
I tell you, burning Hell can't compare
But late at night, that's when I live
As Miller said it, I can't sleep for dreaming
Lie quiet and still, I'm girl uninterrupted
Until my clock brings me home by screaming
I'm supposed to be asleep but that's okay
I'd rather have this precious time to breathe
If I didn't have imagination I would go insane
I need these hours when I can just be me
I only want nighttime, I don't need the day
When the lights go down, my real life begins
After hours, that's when fantasies come alive
And you know how dreams can be our friends
Better to be lonely than be overstretched
Socializing's fine, but I'm happy on my own
If I needed more friends, I go out and search
But like I said, it's better for me to be alone
Forgiven Them
(lyrics written in my sophomore year)
I am not alone, and I am not unloved
But sometimes I can't help but feel that way
When I'm by myself, sometimes I feel sad
But it always disappears by the next day
(chorus)
And maybe I'm clingy, sometimes I try too hard
But I refuse to settle for counterfeit friends
Yet somehow at the same time every day
I realize that I've forgiven them again
Do you know how it feels to be the odd one out?
To wish someone kept you in their heart
Do you ever think that if you go on like this
You might end up getting torn apart
(chorus 2)
And you know you're not clingy, you don't try too hard
And you know you can't settle for counterfeit friends
Yet somehow at the same time every day
You realize that you've forgiven them again
Are you stuck in the dark, just like me?
Yes I know you feel just like that sometimes
Are you waiting to break out with me?
Let's take the high road and break out of line
(chorus 3)
Because we are not clingy, we don't try too hard
No, we will not settle for counterfeit friends
And tomorrow you and I will stick close together
They'll see we haven't forgiven them again
No we will never forgive them again
~Spring Night Crisis~
(lyrics written about my senior prom)
Can someone tell me how I'm supposed to feel?
Six months and I still can't tell which end is up
Sometimes I swear I can feel what you're thinking
Sometimes you swear I'm just crazy enough
Can someone tell me where I'm supposed to be?
At a Masquerade saving the last dance for you
Six months flying by at the speed of sound, oh God
I'm ready but I don't know what I'm supposed to do
I took your hand said 'Come with me into the night'
And we'd forgotten if we were wrong or right
Cliché feelings going with innocent teenage flings
Freshly breaking hearts and cheesy promise rings
(Chorus)
Here we are eighteen forgetting where we have to go
We are a spring night crisis falling into the starry sky
Once in a while you wonder if I'm still in love with you
Once in a while I think I might now the reason why
Here we are eighteen forgetting who we have to be
We are a spring night crisis inside a bubble of glass
Our time together is a crystal hourglass of flames
Our time together is a storm that will never pass
Can someone tell me what I'm supposed to say?
It's hard to speak when you take away my breath
And it's hard to feel when Novocain takes your heart
It's impossible to say good-bye to so many friends
Can someone tell me who I'm supposed to be?
It would be so easy to define myself through you
Can't you give me time to pull myself together
Let me win the game just when I'm about to lose
You took my hand said 'Come here dance with me'
You took my soul and promised to set it free
When can I reclaim the part of me I left behind
Why the hell can't we find a way to turn back time?
(chorus)
Can someone tell me what I already know?
I have to find a way to make myself let you go
(chorus)
(Chorus 2)
Here we are eighteen forgetting where they said to go
We are a spring night crisis falling into the open sky
Once in a while you understand that I'm in love with you
Once in a while I swear I truly know the reason why
Here we are eighteen forgetting who we'll never be
We are a spring night crisis and I'm in the party dress
Our time together was a crimson neon light
Our time together was nothing but the best
Our time together was nothing but the best
Our time together was nothing but the best
~March 10, 2009~
(poem for Writing About War project)
It starts with a piece of paper
and a blue locker.
A scrap of notebook paper
as innocuous as a snowflake
against the dark-blue metal
at seven forty-four AM.
Who would guess that note contained a death threat?
Two words--two little words--
each of them three letters--
D-I-E and F-A-G.
Two little words
that the teachers pretend don't exist.
Ten-thirty AM, normally it's so loud here
but now we all sit motionless
waiting for something to happen.
Half the school is in class,
but half of us are sitting here, waiting.
Two of us sit on the edge, away from our friends
actively avoiding the center of the room.
We know it's going to happen.
We just don't know when.
At ten thirty-six, it begins.
The writer of the note throws the first punch,
striking the boy he threatened.
Within five minutes, twelve kids have bloody noses.
Out of the five hundred inside the cafeteria,
only three of us think to go for help.
We edge away, towards the library,
the rest of them too busy hurting each other
to notice us slip away.
By the time the deans arrive
the count has risen to eighteen bloody noses
and thirty-four various other injuries.
Seven are expelled.
Nineteen are suspended.
Last week, when one girl cheated at a quiz bowl
it made the papers.
This won't.
(next post contains the short story...it was too long for this post, but it goes along with the WAW poem)
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