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ALMOST ONE MONTH WITHOUT AN UPDATE?!?!?!?! ONLY TWO UPDATES IN MARCH?!?!?!?! OH MY GOODNESS, TALK ABOUT EPIC FAIL!!!!!!!!


As of this post, I hereby swear that I will never, EVER EVER EVER go so long without posting again. I promise anyone who reads this blog that there will NEVER be a lack of updateage after this, yes, even though it is thesis film season and I am up to my neck in filmmaking, I will NOT be such an idiot about updating my blog. I promise!



And now, to the actual update. Spring Break kicked major ass...I'm not even going to go into full detail of how much fun it was. I'm just going to point out the highlights:

1. Watching all three Back To the Future movies in one weekend with my dad...that was just epic on so many levels...and then we watched all bonus features, so we had BTTF overload :D

2. Seeing all kinds of epic indie movies! Henry Poole Was Here, Interstate 60, and Saint Ralph were my favorites - if you haven't seen them, you should, they were both EPIC :D

3. Making a Pete Townsend-styled guitar cake for my dad's birthday :)

4. Making a prom dress with Mom...that was just made of epic win...and shopping for fabric was the fun part :)

5. Getting the 25th anniversary-edition of Thriller, as well as the This is It DVD, and staying up until 4 AM--only once, I swear!--geeking out over Michael Jackson and, once again, wondering why I only figured out that he was a genius AFTER he died. Also realizing all over again that, despite my general aversion to synthesizers, I absolutely LOVE his music. (But don't worry, Ronnie Winter, you're still my favorite.)

6. FINALLY finishing my feature-length for class - and then the downside, realizing it was crap and having to rewrite half of it. Oops. Good thing I like revision...

7. LEARNING TO DRIVE ON THE HIGHWAY!!!!! Seriously, this was a defining moment for me. I realized that I am in fact one of THE slowest drivers in America and, for my own safety and the safety of others, I should never, EVER drive in the left lane.

8. Reading (but not BUYING) the New Moon movie book while in Jo-Ann fabrics. Yes, I am just that big a nerd--I actually liked reading the how-we-did-it movie book better than actually SEEING the movie.

9. Finding out that I do in fact sleepwalk, or at the very least wander around the house half-asleep. I only discovered this after having a dream that I went down in the basement, discovered several celebrities inside said basement, and came back upstairs to get my parents, and then when I woke up I actually was standing in the middle of the master bedroom. The next day I reported this to my parents, and my dad said something along the lines of, "If I was having a dream that Bill Kaulitz [lead singer of Tokio Hotel, who Dad thinks is a total freak] was in my basement, I'd sleepwalk too."

10. Talking to my ICA Camp friends over FaceBook. Yes, I know I do that all the time ANYWAY, but it's much better without the threat of failing a homework check hanging over my head.

So yes, that was my Spring Break. Not the most exciting thing ever, but it was a nice break from the business of Interlochen. With the added bonus that now, if by some chance I ever go on a sponsor group trip and we drive on the highway (this is what you call "suspension of disbelief" and for some reason said sponsor cannot drive, I can take over, provided I stay in the right lane.

Okay...moving on.

So it's only been a few days since I got back to IAA, but whoa, what a week! So far we've had sunshine, rain, wind, cold, heat, and now--if I'm not mistaken--snow. At least, I assume it's snow outside my window and that there is not a flock of dandruff-infected birds sitting on the roof directly above me. As soon as the suitemates get up and I can enter and exit without waking up half the people on my floor, I will go out and investigate. For now, I think I'll just report on what's been going down for the past few days.

Who here knows this feeling: You're on the phone with a pal from back home. You're all snuggled up in your (admittedly not too comfortable) dorm bed with you cell phone and a package of Oreos. You're not arguing with your roommate/suitemates, they aren't arguing wiht each other, and everyone is, for once, getting along perfectly. The internet isn't down despite the fact that it's a near-thunderstorm outside. The room is warm but, since you have the window open, it's not a human-size oven. Everything is totally fine.

And then...

Your homeland best buddy informs you of ridiculous but still horrifying (to a teenager, anyway) drama which you can't help him with because you're out in Middle of Nowhere USA while they are stuck in your hometown.

Can you say, "oh, crap?" Because I sure can... Let me tell you something, few things are worse than hearing "Oh, by the way, my girlfriend is cheating on me with my best friend, I'm failing Chemistry, I crashed my parents car, got into a fight with Joe, and almost got arrested for underage smoking all in one weekend, but don't worry, I'm totally fine" over the phone from someone who you would have to sprout wings or obtain a jetpack in order to help. This is when you yell over the phone, "ARE YOU NUTS?!" and end up getting into a screaming argument about how Kristen Stewart could SO kick Ben Stiller's ass. (Don't ask.)

So, what's the solution? I have no f#$%ing clue. All I know is that I am finally beginning to understand why my parents worry so much whenever I vent about school disasters to them. Worrying about stuff you have virtually no control over totally sucks. So, my advice is...don't.

No, you didn't misread that, and no, that was not a typo. My theory is, all you can really do is give you friend (or, mom and dad, your KID) advice on how to handle the istuation and then CALM THE FRENCH DOWN, as my friend from fiction class would tell you. It's totally fine to be concerned. That being said, I've finally figured out after six months of school that stuff is going to happen whether you're there to help or not. Might as well not give yourself gray hairs over it.

And to the person who nearly gave me said gray hairs (you know who you are!), if I were you I would tell this so-called friend to go to hell, and then pour Jell-O down his shirt for good measure. But that's just me. Oh, and Kristen Stewart WOULD win that fight. I only say this because I would love to see someone--ANYONE--beat Ben Stiller.

Speaking of freaking out over things we can't control, was anyone else totally shocked when Aaron Gillespie quit UnderOath? Or was that just me? It was? Okay, moving on.

I also recently found out that Red Jumpsuit Apparatus has a new EP/album coming out sometime in May. It should not surprise anyone to know that I actually jumped off my bed and screamed, "YES!" when I heard this. (See, Ronnie? I TOLD you you're still my favorite.)

Okay. So, on to the freak show that has been Interlochen Weather since the third week of March. In said third week--the week leading up to break--it was warm. And sunny. And did I mention WARM?! I'm talking about sundress-wearing, shorts-wearing, frisbee-playing, sunbathing warm. And then as a welcome-back present, we were all treated to three days of cold and rain. ow, being a rain-lover, I was actually pretty happy about this. In fact, yesterday I went down to the waterfront (don't worry, any IAA officials who might see this, I didn't go INTO the lake, I'm not that crazy) and watched the rain hit the water for the better part of an hour and a half. Rolled around in the grass wearing jeans, a tank top, and a very thin sweatshirt and got SOAKED. This was, to me, total freaking heaven.

And it only got better when I got back to my dorm and had what I like to call a "Rocky Horror moment," as in, a similar situation to something that happened in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. The counselor at the desk looked at me like I might possibly need my head examined (and she might be right about that, but still) and remarked, very observantly, "You're...very wet." To which I happily replied, "Yes...it's raining," and had to try very, very hard to not laugh. I then went back upstairs to my dorm and had a good night of calling parents and working on fiction class homework (trust me, this IS fun) and then went to sleep listening to the rain.

After the magical night of rain it was a bit of a letdown to wake up and see snow flurrying outside my window. To be fair, it has STOPPED snowing by now (it is, as of this very moment, April 8 2010, 3:13 in the afternoon, just for the record), but as a friend said earlier, "Welcome to the seizure that is Interlochen weather," so we are probably in for a LOT more weirdness.

So, I've talked about music, I've talked about spring break, I've talked about weather. Hmm...what else is there to talk about? Oh, I know. OREOS! Which I mentioned earlier, but I just have to rant about this because it's ridiculous, and we all know how much Beatnik Belle loves ridiculousness.

What. Is. The. Deal. With. Oreos!?!?! Seriously, do we NEED seventeen different varieties of Oreo? There's the classic black-and-white thingie with the cookie halves and the white frosting in the middle. That's good. Then there's Double-Stuf, which is also pretty good. Then we have seasonal Oreos, with colored icing in the center, depending on which season we're talking about. That's fine. Can't we stop there?

Oh, no. We have to have "Uh-oh Oreos" with chocolate filling and vanilla cookie halves. We have to have "Golden Oreos" with vanilla cookies AND vanilla filling. We have to have "Cake Oreos" which are self-explanatory and, if nobody is offended by this opinion, rather disgusting. We have "Golden Cake Oreos" (see previous sentence). Mint Oreos. Peanut butter Oreos. Double chocolate Oreos. "Fudgee" Oreos, a.k.a. chocolate Keebler cookies made in a skinny Oreo mold instead of an Elf mold.

I think I speak for the entire cookie-eating public when I say, "WHAT THE HECK?!"

Seriously -- does anyone actually BUY the million and one other varieties of Oreo? If you do please, by all means, TELL ME. This is getting insane. It's only a matter of time before they come out with "Chicken Pot Pie Oreos."

With that rant ended, I think I'll post this and go to the prom committee meeting. Once again, I PROMISE I will never go so long without posting again.

STOLEN DIALOGUE: CABIN 16 EDITION

(for you, Hannah!)

Person one: So when I lifted up my bedspread I saw three chipmunks under my bed.
Person two: What did you do?
Person one: I said hi!

"Nothing awkward ever happens to me."

"Tame the bangs!"

"I swear on whatever is above us...including the squirrels..."

"We don't want anyone getting sick. So use Purell! Use it every time you come in and every time you go out! Purell, Purell, Purell!"

"I'M STRANDED!"

Person one: Last night I dreamed that I slept through camp!
Person two: Last night I dreamed that I was on a yacht with Adam Siska and President Obama.
[later on]
Person one: I want to listen to Iron Maiden so bad right now. Like, I don't think you guys can understand.
Person two: Can you understand getting pushed off a boat by Sisky Business?
Person one: Can you understand sleeping through six weeks of camp? I woke up saying, 'What the heck is going on?'
Person two: I woke up saying, 'Don't arrest him, Mr. President...he's just drunk.'

Person one: Hey, Leah, will you check my caper [daily chore]?
Person two: No way, I'll get hit by a flying rubber glove!
[That last one takes a bit of explanation. Basically, we had two dancers in our cabin who were always getting "ice packs," a.k.a. water-filled, frozen rubber gloves, from the nurse. So one day, a couple of people realized that the rubber glove would make a neat trick, so they rigged it up to the ceiling so that when a string was pulled, the glove-on-a-swing would whiz down and whack the person walking beneath it. There were a couple of days where you couldn't walk to the door without getting hit by a frozen glove!]

Person one: Uh, guys? Why is there a wrapped tampon in the toilet?
Person two: I...uh...got hungry. I ate a tampon. [pause] Dude, I can't believe I just said that!

"Yeah, she and I are the resident lesbians of Cabin 16..."
[Once again, it takes a bit of explanation. There were two girls who jokingly flirted with each other throughout the time at camp, even though neither one was actually gay. One night, one of the girls said this to someone who was visiting our cabin and got a shocked stare in response.]

Person one: Are you sick?
Person two: Oh, I just have Thrush. But don't worry, you can't actually catch it from me. Well, unless you drink from my water bottle, use my toothbrush, or stick your tongue in my mouth.
Person one [sarcastic]: Oh, darn. I was hoping we could make out tomorrow.

[referring to a good-looking, long-haired guy]: "Now, on to Jesus...ah, what a babe."

Person one: Uh, guys? This is bad.
Person two: What happened?
Person one: Michael Jackson is dead. Like, he just died, like half an hour ago.
[shocked silence]
Person three: Maybe...every tabloid in America is just playing a joke on us.

The Secret to Surviving "Winterlochen"

Ah, Northern Michigan winters--nothing like them! First, you freeze to death in weather that is so cold that it doesn't even snow, and you literally cannot breathe when you're outside becuase it is so damn cold. And then you get BURIED in snow and start to wish that the breathtaking cold would come back. And then you get two or three nice, warm--"warm" meaning somewhere between thirty and forty degrees--days, and you start to think, "Okay, this isn't so bad, I can deal, if it just stays like this." But it doesn't! Three nice days, and then, BAM! Winter socks you in the gut like Jack Dempsey.

And then, to put a few sprinkles on this lovely sundae (get it? Sundae? Ice cream? Cold? Meh, forget it), it rains. And everything freezes on the ground, and you skid on ice every time you try to walk to class. And did I mention that it is FREEZING?! There's piles of dirty, renegade snow EVERYWHERE, there's a few solid inches of ice on the ground, there's CLEAN snow which falls every other week or so and makes you long for the rain and ice again, and there's this nice little chill that cannot be blocked even by a down coat.

But it gets even better! At Interlochen there's this thing called the "concourse," which houses all the classrooms. It is one long hallway, with small buildings attached called "rotundas." (Sooner or later I'll do an Interlochen Dictionary post, don't worry. You WILL know what all these words mean eventually, I promise.) And when you walk down this hallway, you get sweaty because you have to walk FAST, due to there being ten minutes between classes and one of your classes (if your luck is anything like mine) is at the opposite end of campus from your NEXT class and you have to rival Jesse Owens to get there on time. So you get sweaty and you leave your coat unbuttoned when you go outside and...well, you know what happens next.

Frostbite, anyone?

And let's not forget the food issue! You know how in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl states that something about cold weather makes people hungrier? (And no, mom, I do NOT want to know the scientific reason for that. (; ) So yes, after a hard day of classes and practices and screenwriting and playwriting and history tests and stress tests and composing music and composing functions, we're all hungry enough to eat a cow. So we go to the cafeteria...where Death awaits us in the form of overcooked salmon. Yum. And the alternative? Go spend ten bucks at the cafe for bad fries and crappy ice cream. Or order a hamburger from Bud's, which I am not as of yet brave enough to do. No wonder the motto for stone is, "Stone Cafeteria: Where the starving artists of tomorrow begin starving today."

And of course there's the fun of the clothes! Honestly, tights or no tights, I will never understand how some of you brave girls can wear skirts in this weather. I freeze my ass off with long pants and kneesocks, and some days I actually wear long johns beneath my pants, so how in the heck you can stand to walk around in a skirt and pantyhose is something beyond my level of comprehension. Then again I've been gawked at for going hatless, so maybe I can't talk. All I know is, without a coat, long pants, boots, kneesocks, and a pair of gloves, I'm useless in the cold.

So what does all this add up to? One very freaking long winter. (Daddy, do you remember reading The Long Winter when I was in sixth grade? Say yes, dang it!) But don't worry. I've found the secret to surviving the Interlochen Winter (or Winterlochen, as I've heard it called). Here it is, in three parts:

First of all. BE HAPPY. I can't stress this enough. If you mope through winter, you will be bushwhacked the second November 1st rolls around. Don't believe me? Well, think about this: I went out on a shoot with my fellow MPAs shortly after Halloween. It was a nice, clear, sunny day...and the temperature was enough to make one believe that Hell had literally frozen over. I swear to God there was FROST on the grass. There were actually people whose job was to run blankets out to the freezing actors (it was a baseball movie).

Anyway, I'm digressing. The point is, BE HAPPY. Don't let Winterlochen kick your ass with its icy gloominess. The sadder you get, the harder it is to pull through the looooong winter months. So do yourself a favor. Go to the dances. Go to Coffeehouse. Watch the Olympics and laugh when the media makes a big deal about a snowboarder's coach letting out a few f-bombs. Read silly blogs on the internet. (Mine notwithstanding (; ) Watch silly crap on YouTube (but keep it G-rated, please; we don't want any Porn Infractions).

Some things to bust the Winterlochen Blahs:

http://community.sparknotes.com/index.php/2009/07/16/blogging-twilight-index-page/
If you love Twilight and take it seriously, or if you are Team Edward, stay away. However, if you are like me and take the whole thing as light entertainment, you will love this. You will laugh. Hard.

http://aaronrgillespie.tumblr.com/
This is Aaron Gillespie's (The Almost; UnderOath) blog about food. It's more interesting than it sounds. Trust me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9va1wVNizE
TRY to watch this without laughing, or at least smirking and rolling your eyes. It can't be done.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxLT98chljg
Maybe I'm just biased because they're my favorite band...but the beginning of this interview cracks me up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUnRAqEEVWQ&feature=PlayList&p=C45ACB753D9BC89B&index=2
This is self-explanatory. Just watch it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNSdBLYXJD4
If this doesn't crack you up, you are officially NOT HUMAN. And no, you do NOT have to be into zombies to like this short film. (On that note, what is it with us Interlochen people and zombies? Seriously! I think we've all watched the "Thriller" video one too many times...)

Second. Remember that artistic reason you came here? MPAs, make some indie shorts!(And then post them on YouTube or facebook so we can all share the laughs!) Creative writers, crank out some fiction! (Or poetry, if you'd rather do that.) Musicians, hold random jam sessions in the rotundas! Visual artists, show off with your snow sculptures! (So far this year, I've seen the Loch Ness Monster, some Igloos, a lion, and my personal favorite, a large toadstool.) There's a reason that young artists come here, and it sure as heck isn't for the brilliant weather. We are CREATIVE! If we can't figure out a way to beat this winter cruddiness...well...who can?

Third--possibly most important--RELY ON YOUR FRIENDS. There is a reason that Mr. Film Teacher tells us after we come back from breaks to look after each other. (Motion Picture Artists, you know what I'm talking about, right?) The people in your dorm, your major, your classes, and even people whom you would never see if you didn't make the effor to seek them out will help you more than anything you're told to do by the Health Services people. Seriously, without my friends I would've gone bug-nuts crazy by now. Friends provide entertainment, stress relief, hugs, companionship, love, and most importantly, support. If you don't trust them...excuse the cliche...who can you trust to get you through the horror that is a North Michigan winter?

So there you have it. The secret to surviving "Winterlochen." (Am I even using that in the correct context?) You're welcome. :)



STOLEN DIALOGUE TIME!!!!!

"I sound like a Wookie on helium!"

"That there's what we call an inside joke."

"Did you eat a bowl of unoriginal for breakfast?"

"No. No, no, no. This is an ALICE IN WONDERLAND prom, not a LET'S SHOW OFF NINETY PERCENT OF OUR SKIN prom. You can't wear that dress. People will think you're confused about the theme."

"Let's not tell Mr. Wescott that none of us did our homework, okay? We'll just say something we got off Sparknotes; he won't know the difference."

"I Facebooked the crap out of him! No--I did not STALK him. I FACEBOOKED him. There's a difference."

"You know what would be really interesting? If he fell into a sand pit full of rabid Miley Cyrus fans. That would be fun."

"Hey, guys, I've got an idea. Let's have a revolution!"

"Some people are born to be wild...some people are born to be artists...he was born to be unprofessional."

"This just bypasses all normal levels of awkward. This is so much awkward it's practically coming out your ears. You are unnaturally full of awkward. Instead of the date-rape drug, someone poisoned your drink with a whole lot of awkward."

Person one: "Can you just shoot me please?"
Person two: "No, but I can dismember you and flush the pieces down the toilet."
Person one: "Okay, that works."

"That door has issues. That door is being a...Doork. Sorry, SOMEONE had to say that."

"Oh great. This table is chairless, and THAT table has more chairs than it knows what to do with. That table is Napoleon's army marching in to invade Russia, and this table is Napoleon's army marchinng OUT of Russia, minus ninety percent of his army."