Saturday Night's All Right for Tokio Hotel

Hello. If you are reading this blog, chances are you already know who I am. If not...well, have fun figuring it out.



In the event that you don't know me, this is who I am, in three easy steps:



1. I make movies at Interlochen Center for the Arts. It's amazing. Case closed. End of story.

2. I'm a girl, as evidenced by my screenname. (Beatnik BELLE, people, come on!)

3. I love Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.



There. That's me, in a nutshell. Moving on now!



Okay. So for those of you who DO know me, you may be wondering, "Why in the hell is she starting a blog NOW? Since when does she even have TIME to blog?" To answer your questions, I have three reasons to start a blog now that I did not have before:



1. I'm sick this weekend. And bored. In my book, bored + sick = innovative ways of entertaining myself, which means doing stuff I've never done before...which, this time, means starting a blog.

2. Thesis Film Season has officially started, which means I'll have PLENTY of anecdotes that will be far too epic to keep them to myself.

3.



Okay, so I really don't have three reasons...I just have two...but they're good reasons, right? RIGHT? Okay. Moving on again.



So, this weekend I didn't get out of my dorm more than twice. Which is for me more than a little unusual; it's normal for me to get less rest on the weekends than I do during the week (thanks to Student Senate, church, the mall, GSA, ect...) but, as I said, this weekend I'm sick, which really sucks. So, instead of reporting the insane Interlochen goings-on of the weekend (which I'll do NEXT weekend), I'll blog about the strange things that one thinks about when one is trapped in a dorm all weekend.



First of all, have you ever noticed that when you're not sick enough to feel like you're dying, but just sick enough to have to stay home, you do the weirdest things just to keep yourself from getting bored to death? Well, okay, maybe it's just me who does that, but I really don't think so. So, last night I was sad about missing GSA coffeehouse and I was bored out of my mind. And even after calling my parents and catching up with a few long-distance friends via FaceBook, I was still bored and lonely (my lucky suitemates were at the coffeehouse!).



And so I did what I'm sure ANYONE ELSE in my situation would have done: I watched a Tokio Hotel documentary, then part of their concert, and made two lists. One of them was things I loved about Tokio Hotel, the other was things I hate about Tokio Hotel. Now please understand, Tokio Hotel is NOT my favorite band of all time. They don't even make the top three. That would be Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (#1), the Almost (#2), and the E Street Band (#3). And, if we're going top five, #4 is the Who (whom I will probably blog about at a later date) and #5 is Augustana. So as you can see, poor Tokio Hotel has to settle for top ten, which we won't get into right now because it will take forever.



With all that being said, I do enjoy Tokio Hotel quite a bit. I wouldn't call them a guilty pleasure - any band that my dad approves of just cannot be called a guilty pleasure, in my book - but they're certainly don't have the rough, artsy, rock-and-roll badassnessosity of my top five. I have even jokingly referred to them as "the German answer to the Jonas Brothers," because of their massive teenage-girl following and the ridiculousness of their lead singer. But as I said, my dad likes them, or at the very least can put up with them for a decent lenth of time and admits that they have a few good songs, so as far as I'm concerned, they DO have talent.



So, keeping all that in mind, here is my "love" list for Tokio Hotel:

1. They have REALLY FREAKING GOOD videos. And being a film geek, I am a sucker for a good video. And trust me, theirs are DEFINITELY up to film-freak standards. If you don't believe me, go on youtube and look up "Don't Jump/Spring Nicht," "Ready Set Go," and "Rette Mich." On second thought, here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ODdhNH0n8U&feature=channel (Ready set go)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nevnXxRxfjU (Don't Jump/Spring Nicht)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UISQF9uHEv0&feature=channel (Rette Mich, which means "Rescue me" in English)

2. Their music IS for all intents and purposes good. Hint: Listen to their German albums, they sound best when Bill sings in his native language. Why these guys decided to "Americanize" is something I will probably never fully comprehend (but I will rant about that later).



3. Their live shows are BRILLIANT. I would love to see these guys live...but as they rarely tour in the U.S. I doubt I'll get the chance. For now, I'm stuck with DVDs and the ever-helpful youtube.



4. I can identify with their lyrics. Yes, I KNOW that sounds cheesy. But it's true! I challenge you to find one teenager on the planet who cannot identify with at least ONE Tokio Hotel song. The one that struck the most important chord with me was the opening verse of "Scream":



You get up and somebody tells you where to go to

When you get there, everybody's telling you what to do

Thank you, it's been another bloody Monday

And no one is asking what you wanted anyway



I LOVE that song, becuase I UNDERSTAND that song. I don't get their love songs (mainly because these guys seem to enjoy putting inside jokes into their love song lyrics. Oops, did I say inside jokes? I meant metaphors, my bad). But this one? And "Ready Set Go"? And "Don't Jump"? And of course, "Live Every Second." No, it's NOT just because those are their "happy" songs, I swear. It's because those particular songs have what I consider their strongest message, which is a fairly typical one--live life to the fullest, do what you need to do to be happy, and don't hold back or chicken out--but no matter how typical, it's still a powerful message.



5. They have a cute bass player. Yes, this goes onto the "things I love" list, because I'm sorry, but he IS cute. And he IS talented, so yes, I DO have a teensy crush on him, sue me. I would just like to say in my defense that this was NOT the first thing I wrote down, therefore it is NOT the main reason that I like this band. I'm just saying...



6. Their album artwork is infreakingcredible. Google "Humanoid album pictures" and you will see what I mean. (Or, Mom and Dad, you could just wait until you come and visit, and I'll show you. And Dad can laugh at Bill's hair. Oh wait, he already did that. (; Never mind...)



7. Much as I detest Tom Kaulitz, I must admit that he has serious guitar skills. The downside is that you don't get to hear them as much on Humanoid...yet another reason that I prefer their German albums and their first American release, Scream.



8. They have a somewhat interesting webisode series called "Tokio Hotel TV" (which I now have on DVD). This show is pretty much a waste of time--I recommend it to all who enjoy procrastinating--but it is amusing as all living hell. This is when you get to see how ridiculous the twins really are, how amusing Georg the Cute Bassist really is, and how quiet their drummer really is. Okay, so that last one isn't really all that fun, but you get the point.



9. They are FUNNY...they really are...Bill Kaulitz can take something as simple as going to Meijer and turn it into an explosion of comedic ridiculousness...I swear, my life was not complete until I watched a guyliner-wearing German teenager exclaim over a package of Twizzlers.



10. This is more of a guilt-by-association thing...but I LOVE hearing my dad rant about these guys. Which I encourage by showing him episodes of Tokio Hotel TV, pictures of Bill Kaulitz, and moments from the "Zimmer 483" documentary and then asking, "So, what do you think?"





So, as you can see, there is plenty to love about these guys. But, to use a common cliche, every coin has two sides (or something along those lines). Which leads to my "hate" list:



1. As my dad so rightly said, Bill Kaulitz is a freak. I'm sorry, but it's TRUE. What self-respecting guy would voluntarily sculpt their hair into a fauxhawk (fake mohawk) that ends up being taller than they are? Okay, so that was an exaggeration, but you get the point. Bill Kaulitz is the strangest person I've ever seen, no joke. The combination of his appearance, his hyperactivity, and the fact that, like his brother, he can't seem to stop beating up on his bassist and drummer slightly creeps me out. This isn't necessarily a reason to hate them, it just annoys me.



2. Tom Kaulitz is a jerk. Yes, the guy is a great guitar player, but that does not give him the right to talk about girls as if they're something that he can pick up at a McDonald's and then drop in a garbage can at the next rest stop. (This actually is a "hate" reason.) Added to that, he beats up on Georg (bass player) more than any sensible, semi-caring human would. Honestly, there is no reason for him to make fun of that guy the way he does. And of course Bill eggs him on, which drives me NUTS.



3. They have a screaming teenage girl fanbase. I don't know why this bothers me so much, because if I was at a Tokio Hotel concert I would DEFINITELY scream. Then again, I scream at ANY concert I attend (with the exception of Interlochen Orchestra concerts because that would just be weird), but I certainly would not scream/squeal/pass out if I met any member of Tokio Hotel. I managed to not scream when I met Ronnie Winter, and I like him ten times more than I like ANY member of Tokio Hotel (and will probably blog about him at a later date).



4. On their latest record, Humanoid, they totally and completely sold out. Don't believe me? Listen to any of the songs that I posted above, and then listen to this:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONNIfNyPFaE ("Pain of Love" from Humanoid)



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oER1O2tTIFw&feature=related ("Human Connect to Human," also from Humanoid)



On Humanoid, Bill auto-tuned (I THINK that's what it's called) the crap out of his voice. You can tell the difference. They used waaaay too much synthesizer on Humanoid. Most of the songs on Humanoid sound like Britney Spears had a love child with 3 Doors Down: Whiny, synthesizer-saturated love songs that rarely make any sense. Want proof? Take any two lines from "Pain of Love" and compare them. I guarantee that each line on its own will make perfect sense, but put together they will leave you scratching your head. Their first albums were pretty damn good - not the most mindblowingly original things on the planet, but at least there was meaning behind them. Humanoid sounds like anything else you might hear in a club on Saturday night. And, as anyone who knows me can tell you, I do NOT like dance club music.



5. All of them, not just Tom, beat up on Georg to some extent or another...that is not okay with me. -cue possessive female instinct kicking in-



6. Personally, I find the fact that Bill swears hands-down that he is a virgin and that he NEVER bothers with any of the fangirls almost as creepy as Tom's insistence that he has a one-night stand five times a week.



7. They "Americanized" their music...now, I know WHY they did it, in the strictest sense, anyway. The record company they're with wanted to make more money. What I don't get is this: Why didn't they just sell German albums in America? It would've been easier and more convenient, they would've sold just as many records, and they wouldn't have needed to go through the bother of choosing which songs to re-record, then re-recording the songs, then going through all the crap of ANOTHER album release when they already had two perfectly good albums out. Besides, they sound much better in German anyway. It drives me insane!





So, there you have it. Ten reasons to like them; seven reasons to NOT like them. The good outweighs the bad in this case, but as I said before...they're not my favorite, or even in the top 5. They're good, but not INCREDIBLY SUPER EPIC, like certain other bands I could mention.



Moving on to my favorite part of the day: STOLEN DIALOGUE! (Yes, Mr. Film Teacher, be proud of me - I actually use it!) This probably WILL be a regular feature of my blog, just a heads-up. So here goes: The top stolen dialogue of the past week is...



"If Bud's is what people eat to escape the cafeteria, I don't even want to know what the cafeteria's like."



"Batman: the Midlife Crisis!"



"So wait...if you like him, and he used to be a she, does that mean you're...bi-transgender?"



"Oh crap, she's got her Joker Pants on!"



"It's like Helena Bonham Carter fornicated with Dean Moriarty and they produced YOU!"



"Three hours alone in the Writing House? What the heck were you trying to do, start a family?"



"Michael is above a Facebook group. Michael needs a full-out Appreciation Day. Michael needs a freaking national holiday. Michael deserves seeing a banner flown over the campus with 'MICHAEL IS AWESOME written in huge letters. In Freestyle Script font, eighteen-point, double-spaced."



"That's nutty. Dipped in Crazy. With a side of Insane. Oh, and can I get some fries with that?"



"You do realize that Valentine's Day is a satan-sanctioned holiday, right? Okay, just checking. Oh wait, it's for Prom? Double satan points!"



Person one: "He put his SHOES in the HALLWAY?! What was he trying to do, commit fratricide?"

Person two: "Wait, I thought you could only do that in college!"

Person three: "What, kill someone with stench?"

Person two: "No, join a fraternity..."

(I think they might've said something else after that, but I was laughing too hard to listen properly.)



Yes...I will have better stolen dialogue next time. I promise.



Okay. Now I'm done for the day. This was fun. Hopefully I'll have time to update the thing from time to time. ;)