After listening to a morningful of complaints about icky roommates, laundry procrastination, and cafeteria-induced sickness, I have resolved to complain a LOT less from now on.
Submitted for your consideration (yes, this DOES count as stolen dialogue):
"I have reason to believe that my roommate is the daughter of Satan."
"What the hell were they thinking, putting a devout Baptist in the same room as a bisexual Atheist? Were they TRYING to cause an explosion?"
"If laundry service sends back ONE more piece of my clothing with a hole in it, I'm going to kill someone."
"Stone Cafeteria is enough to make the most hardcore carnivore convert to vegetarianism."
"I have been living on Oreos for six months."
"I have to do f***ing laundry tonight! I have to go down to the God d***ed laundry room, put the f***ing detergent in the machine, put a whole damn DOLLAR into the machine, and sit there while the f***ing thing does nothing but GURGLE for a whole f***ing hour!" (Thank God there weren't any hall counselors around to hear this one...)
"I swear, if this asshole stays up past two A.M. ONE MORE NIGHT, I'm locking him out of the room."
"You know that sign in the Scholarshop about how proceeds from their sales go towards scholarship money? Well, since September, I've bought enough food at that place to give somebody a full ride."
"I don't care how funny she thinks that episode of Family Guy is--if I have to listen to it again, I'll strangle her! Hasn't she ever heard of HEADPHONES?"
"First the stupid washing machine ate my quarters. Then the dryer stopped working. Then the vending machine ate my dollar. And then when I went to my counselor, she said I was being irresponsible. And then I went downstairs to finish my laundry, but when the washer decided to pee on me, I spontaneously combusted."
"The Stone food makes me throw up. The only edible thing in that cafeteria is the Frosted Flakes."
Wow. Wow, wow, wow. This is...crazy. There's no other word for it.
Don't get me wrong, guys--I'm not pretending that I love the food in the cafeteria, or that my roommate and I are about to skip out and buy matching "Best Friend" necklaces, or that laundry isn't a pain in the neck whether you get the laundry service or just do it on your own. But really, people? We're at one of the best arts schools in the country--and definitely the most UNIQUE school in the country. It's a boarding arts high school, for Pete's sake! How often do you see THOSE? And I think if we're wasting so much time complaining about food, laundry, and roommates (as well as other annoying things like the weather, the library hours, and sign-in), we're sort of missing the point of being here.
Just ask yourself: Did you come here to be best friends with your suitemates, or did you come here to perfect your art form?
In the brochures, did the nice block letters spell out, "WE HAVE THE BEST LAUNDRY SERVICE IN THE COUNTRY!!!" or did they say, "We want to help you become an artist?"
When you walk into Stone Cafeteria, do you expect that there will be a three-course gourmet meal waiting at a linen-covered table for you, or do you KNOW that there is probably nothing there that you really want to eat?
I rest my case.
I'm guilty of this too. I don't always get along with my suitemates. I occassionally will skip dinner and go for an ice-cream sandwich at the Melody Freeze because the thought of eating whatever they're serving grosses me out. I've found myself scrambling on Tuesday morning and cursing because I forgot to get my laundry ready the night before. And if this ever happens to you--and I know it does--I sympathize.
But what you have to do is think to yourself, "Okay, this is inconvenient. But what about this afternoon, when I'll get to____?" (practice for the play, record audio for the film, make a new sculpture, write a poem, hear an amazing guest speaker?) THAT is why we're all here--to work on our art. And if we have to stomach some icky food, or put up with an annoying roommate, or fight the nightly laundry battle while we're at it...well, think of it this way: It'll make us stronger artists to do stuff we don't like doing.
Hey, nobody ever said this was going to be easy. ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment