...You get hit up to be in movies several times a week (or several times a day).
...You are used to hearing your roommate rant about something, and at the end of it they turn to you and say, "Sorry...you'd have to be a film major to get it."
...Your roommate's half the room is drowning in paperwork - scripts, treatments, workshop notes, location waivers, casting calls, feedback worksheets, crew lists, you name it - and it is constantly spilling over onto your half of the room.
...That buzzing noise at 2 A.M. is, sadly, nothing more interesting than your roommate's assistant director calling to tell her that he just finished her shooting schedule.
...You are familiar with the terms 'gaffer,' 'grip,' 'beat analysis,' 'mule,' 'clamp,' 'FCP,' 'edit suite,' and 'ass hat' (as in, what your roommate's fellow film major was being yesterday).
...You have gotten lights-out infractions because your roommate was up late AGAIN working on her latest cut, and the glare from her Final Cut Express document was somehow mistaken for an overhead light.
...You have overheard your roommate/suitemate crying her eyes out, and rushed into her room only to discover that the tragedy was that she didn't get accepted into a backwater film festival.
...The word 'hipster' is often used to describe your roommate, despite the fact that she swears up and down that she is not in fact a hipster, she's just "indie."
...The presence of flannel shirts, tough jeans, and heavy socks in your roommate's bed is not because her (nonexistent) boyfriend stayed over last night, it is because she has a shoot tomorrow and had to do last-minute laundry.
...The following situation has occurred at least once: You have been listening to your iTunes or radio, minding your own beeswax, and your roommate/suitemate has scared the daylights out of you by gasping and saying, "Oh my God!" and making you think something's wrong...and then adding excitedly, "This song was in [insert film here]!"
...You know that when your roommate is frantically searching the room saying, "Where are my gloves?" she's not talking about cold-weather protective gear.
...It's the norm for your roommate to alternate between getting up long before you and staying up all day to pulling an all-nighter and then sleeping through her alarm.
...Your roommate/suitemate has two personalities: One is the patience-of-a-saint façade that she puts up around other film majors or film teachers, and the other is the screaming, ranting monster who comes out whenever they're not around and she desperately needs to vent about their rudeness and/or incompetence.
...Instead of gushing about a movie star or rock star crush, your roommate/suitemate gushes about her favorite director/screenwriter/indie actor/cinematographer.
...The sentence "If my thesis advisor _______ one more time..." has become VERY familiar to you.
...Your roommate/suitemate constantly asks to use your printer, sun lamp, scissors, or makeup for her film.
...You are used to being greeted with, "Will you read/watch this and tell me what you think?" and having a computer shoved into your hands when you've barely put down your backpack or take-out food.
STOLEN DIALOGUE:
Person one: I want your benjamin.
Person two: I know, I could tell from the moment I called on you.
"So I'm standing there, naked and well-protected...please do not picture this..."
"What am I supposed to do, show a picture of two people having sex? Luckily I keep one in my pocket, for times like this..."
Person one: So we were playing the airplane game, where you sit with a group of people and try to figure out, if the world ended while you were up in an airplane with these specific people and you were the only survivors, who would you choose to mate with so you could repopulate the planet?
Person two: Well...technically...everyone would have to screw everyone else.
Person one: So I spent time I should've been doing homework reading this Harry Potter fan fiction...
Person two: Will you marry me?
"All of a sudden, the traffic light turns yellow, and we turn into anarchists."
Person one: I will do any favor you ask of me...
Person two: I want a trillion dollars and a Red camera.
Person one: ...If it's within my capacity to do it.
Person two: Okay, a million dollars and a Red camera.
"Some people are traumatized by latex."
"Some drunk people can recite Shakespeare, and some drunk people can't sharpen a pencil."
"Your ass, lovely as it is, is not welcome in my face."
